Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Kahollavan81
Joined: Aug 12, 2009
Last Post: Sep 17, 2009
Threads: 4
Posts: 6  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 10
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
Kahollavan81   
Sep 17, 2009
Graduate / Mating Rituals in the Wild (Addmission essay for MS is biology) [3]

Any comments are appreciated!

Essay: In your own prose, state what you wish to accomplish in our MS program. Attach one page single-spaced.

Research via experimentation and observation is the cornerstone of new insight. Concept are most effectively ingrained through firsthand exploration. I am interested in exploring the foraging habits, communication, and mating rituals of various species of birds. Fieldwork has shown me that birds have a very intricate system of communication; a subject I would like to pursue further. More recently, I have become interested in researching the effects of human activity on bird populations. Doing so will allow me to heighten consciousness to the magnificence and vitality that lies within the natural world. My goal is to educate others about the marvels of the avian world in a classroom setting. With this continued education, I will be able to delve into the complexity and diversity of the ecology and evolution of these creatures.

Enrollment in a graduate program will grant me the privilege of exploring and learning, as well as qualify me to do what I truly enjoy, to teach.

Enrollment in the master's program will allow me to satisfy my craving for research. The establishment of something new through exploration is the focus of this program. After completing avian ecology 514 with Dr. Fritz Hertel, I have realized that ornithology is the field I wish to specialize in. Through this class, I have discovered that bird behavior is more diverse than I have ever imagined. Their high level of intelligence is readily apparent by their creative methods of foraging. Communication between birds and the mating rituals they display are also areas I wish to study further while in the master's program; it is intricate and includes a wide range of visual gestures and a rich repertoire vocal cues. I wish to work with Dr. Hertel during my graduate studies.

I wish to expand my insight on habitat loss. As human habitats grow, natural habitats shrink, and with it comes reduction in the bird population or species. This area has become particularly interesting for me after returning from a recent trip to the Galapagos island and the Amazon jungle. During my graduate years I plan on studying this occurrence more profoundly because I wish to expand my insight on this topic. Once proficient, my intention is to incorporate what I have learned and discovered as a graduate student into my lectures when I begin teaching. I believe that doing so will increase the awareness of young students to this importance of conservation of species.

Graduate studies will provide me with experience to teach. Assisting the instructor in teaching is an integral part of the graduate program. Working side by side with the professor I will learn methods of delivering information to students effectively. After working as a teacher's assistant for a year at local middle school, I have realized that expert knowledge and effective teaching strategies are the two paramount traits of an educator, both of which the graduate program will instill in me.

The master's program is a prerequisite to pursue the career of my choice. It will provide me with the opportunity to explore the field I am most passionate about, avian behavior and ecology. Through the program I will be able to study the effects of human expansion on birds and their habitats. It will prepare me for the position I wish to undertake via enlightening me with the necessary information and providing the essentials of being an outstanding educator.
Kahollavan81   
Aug 19, 2009
Writing Feedback / Learning from Electronic Media: GRE essay topic [6]

All tips are appreciated.

"In this electronic age, reading has inevitably taken the back seat to watching television and gleaning information from the World Wide Web. People learn far more readily from electronic media than they do from print."

Electronic media is a more efficient mean of delivering information than printed, and is the medium of choice for most people. I agree that electronic media has taken first place as a source of information. People learn more from electric media because it is direct, current, and convenient.

There is no need to search among heavy books to obtain information. Internet searches are fast and effective. Search engines such as Google can track down the most specific data one is searching for from an ocean of information. It cuts down on the time required to complete a task, hence, more work can be accomplished. Its massive popularity among college students for conducting research indicates that it is a more effective and current tool than print.

Unlike print, electric media is up to date. Because electronic media is not tangible it can change with respect to what is most current. The world is not static, it is moving and the most befitting instrument people can employ to understand what is happening is one that can change along with it. If a newspaper is printed at 3:00 am it is no longer current by the time it reaches its reader at 7:00 am. A medical book that is published may not be at the pinnicle of research a month later. Television is current but is unidirectional- does allow one to search. The internet is bidirectional, current, environmentally friendly-doesn't use paper, and mobile, which makes it a superior source of information.

The internet allows for access from anywhere to everywhere. If one lives in Los Angeles and would like to know what the wheather will be like in Buenos Aires, Argentina, it can be done with ease via electronic media. Some portable devices too feature internet access which allows access to tons of information all in the palm of a hand something that can never be achieved with printed material. The claim can be made that electronic media has created a world of instant gratification and people are less patient because of it. Nonetheless, the benefit it bring to people outweighs this claim severalfold as evident by the explosion of internet use.

Electronic media is a more practicle source of learning than printed material. It allows for instant access to the most current informatrion from every location. It is the information tool of the future.
Kahollavan81   
Aug 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / The benefit of a global university-- GRE topic, need help [6]

The essay is pretty convincing. In the fist paragraph an illustration of how an international body proved ineffective would strengthen it (e.g. UN). "After all, what the graduates can do is a tree to a forest." I dont know what this sentence is implying. "However, is such a small group able to break down the "Berlin Wall" built between the two communities--either of them comprises of millions of people." Is this a question? You need to better organize the structure so that it flows more smoothly. When presenting I use the format Idea>description>how so>example. I also spotted some word that do not make sense in the sentence they are in.
Kahollavan81   
Aug 16, 2009
Writing Feedback / "Questioning authority" - GRE topic. [4]

I did outline but I have not written an essay for six years so I am open to any suggestions.
Kahollavan81   
Aug 16, 2009
Writing Feedback / "Questioning authority" - GRE topic. [4]

"Question authority. Only by questioning accepted wisdom can we advance our understanding of the world."

Questioning authority is the source of understanding and the prerequisite for advancement. I agree that with this concept because questioning authority brings advancement to education, repairs faulty authority, and searches for the logic behind a law.

Advancement in the field of education is important because it empowers us. For example, before Charles Darwin discovered the theory of evolution he questioned the accepted belief of creationism. His finding led the world to understand that adaptation is the source of speciation. If he had not done so, people would continue to believe that god created all the animal biodiversity on earth.

Questioning those in power is crucial for keeping a government and its people in equilibrium. In countries where authorities are not questioned, people are oppressed. North Korea is one such country where those in power are not questioned. Their decision are made solely in their own interest. North Koreans have no influence on the condition and direction of their country and are starving to death. If the citizens had the right to question their leader, their power would increase and their condition would improve.

Searching for a logical explanation is important for one's motivation to follow rules. In the military, soldiers are often not presented with a reason for an action being asked of them. Soldiers become frustrated with this approach, and don't perform optimally. When I was in the military, a member of my platoon was ordered not to enter an area but was not provided an explanation. He disrequarded this order and entered the area to inquire what was not explained to him and was almost shot. If he was provided a reason for not entering, such a risk could have been avoided.

Questioning authority has the potential to escalate to chaos. Events in history such as the beating of Rodny King or the recent reelection of Ahmad Jinadad have led people to question. Both situations resulted in mass violence and death. Nevertheless, if questioning brings a positive impact then it must be done despite resistance.

Understanding and progress can only come through questioning. In education it enhances our knowledge. In government, it empowers citizens. And finally, peoples inclination to follow rules is strengthened because of it. Often times the path to advancement is arduous but are worthwhile once it yeilds positive results. The greatest triumphs in history were engendered by those who questioned.
Kahollavan81   
Aug 16, 2009
Writing Feedback / Should government withhold information?--A GRE Issue topic [12]

"the government concealed the facts of aliens at the same time, "men in black" protected people furtively, thus the citizens living a peaceful life with no idea about the earth was nearly destroyed just a minute ago" I had to read this 4 times to understand it. "So that is the result of the hiding what should not be hidden." This sentence is neglegible because the one preceeding it illustrates the idea clearly enough. The rest looks good.
Kahollavan81   
Aug 16, 2009
Writing Feedback / GRE Essay on "skepticism in student's learning" [6]

I'm taking the gre this month as well. Your essay seems pretty good. Your illustration of both ways of learning something is convincing. I would change the word "man" to somehting else. An example of how excessive skepticism can wreck a young mind would strengthen the last paragraph. Good luck!
Kahollavan81   
Aug 12, 2009
Writing Feedback / "Justice can only exist when people obey laws that are not to their liking." [3]

This is a 45-min analytical writting question example for the GRE.

If laws that are not to peoples' liking, not obeyed, there will be no justice. People's lack of adherence to laws that are not to their advantage is the reason for the justice system. The essence of justice is that every individual's rights and property are protected. There is no justice when people break the law which is made evident by the people's need for a court system. In places where people do not need to obey laws, there is a high violation of human rights. Human predisposition for selfishness is a powerful counteractive force to the existence of justice.

Humans, like all living entities, favor themselves over others. It is genetically favorable to behave this way, and to an extent, a survival mechanism. This instinct to survive is influential to the degree that people willingly violate a law to satisfy their drive for something even if it has no bearing on their survival. The Menendez brothers murdered both of their parents in order to inherit all that they own, despite the lavish lifestyle the brothers were already living. If people were permitted to behave freely chaos would follow.

Crime and human rights violations are higher in societies that do not follow laws. What motivates perpetrators to commit anything from minor offences to crimes against humanity is personal gain which comes at a loss to the party being victimized. Currently in Darfur, Sudan, there is a massacre taking place. The government chooses not to follow laws set forth by the UN because of its desire for more power. The result is a complete obliteration of justice made overt by the slaughter of thousands. Only through potentially paying a cost greater than the benefit of breaking the law justice will pervade.

Degree of punishment is the ultimate determinant in the manifestation of justice. The degree of justice is inversely proportional to the crime rate which is determined by the severity of penalties. Singapore employs very harsh punishments towards people who choose not follow a law: varying from inflicting physical pain to capital punishment. Its crime rate is a fraction of what it is in the rest of the first world indicating that the degree of justice there is relatively high.

Eliminating people's ability to interact would eliminate the need for obedience. If people cannot come into contact whatsoever then it does not make a difference whether they obey or not since they cannot violate each others rights. In an insane asylum there are people living in solitary confinement and so long as they remain in their area they do not threaten anyone's else's rights; justice may exist.

Interaction between people is an inevitable component of life and where there are interactions, violations will occur. Therefore, in order for there to be justice in such a setting, laws must be obeyed especially when they are not to one's advantage.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳