Unanswered [12] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by nda18
Name: ndanggraeni
Joined: Oct 27, 2016
Last Post: Dec 9, 2016
Threads: 46
Posts: 81  
Likes: 9
From: Indonesia
School: Padjadjaran University

Displayed posts: 127 / page 4 of 4
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nda18   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / There are no people born with creativity in their mothers' stomach [4]

Hi alfa7
here are my review towards your essay

Pablo Picasso, one of the biggest artistartists in modern era,...
In some opportunityopportunities at TED Talk, (an) education practitioner, ...
... linguistic and mathematic(s) are the top of (...) it means (i think you missed the conjunction here)that pupils should have ...
... and creativity are being(you can find some collocations / synonym for this word) the bottom of the priority. School has killingkilled creativity as a ...

Furthermore, schools thought [you should put conjunction here] being wrong is some student(s) mistakes in teaching life. [i do not quite understand the meaning of this sentence]

Disagree for this statement(wrong spelling)[you should put comma here] Sir Robinson thought if student afraid of[you missed the collocation] being wrong they cannot learn to beingbe[to + Vbi] original.

... teach their student with dependdepend on[collocation for depend is on ] their intelligent on ...
... that some adolescent(s) clever in art and other(s) in math. Sir Robinson believes in (the) next era we should to adapt new conception concept of human ...

suggestion :
mr alfa7 you should watch you SVA, and basic grammar to improve your essay
i hope it will make your essay better.
good luck :)

nda18   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Smart camera system checks patients' vital signs from afar [4]

Oxehealth, accompany spun out from the University of Oxford, created a medical device software that can measure heart rate, respiration and blood oxygenation from a distance using camera data. This software has been installed and is being tested at Oxford's main teaching hospital, the John Radcliffe. They asked patients who need an intensive care after surgery to participate in the trial where oxehealth's cameras will monitor their vital signs in parallel with sensors. This software has also been running at London's Metropolitan Police Service and Broadmoor high-security psychiatric hospital in order to make sur someone is safe when they are in a secure room.

This software watches the small changes in video frames as patient breath, for instance. It also tracks subtle changes the colour of patient skin using that to infer patient's pulse. The advantage of The Oxehealth software may come after patients are discharge because both doctors and patients their selves can monitor the illness from home.
nda18   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / An extraordinary capacity of creativity can be obtained by having a willing to be wrong [3]

TED sumary Do schools kill creativity? - Sir Ken Robinson

Creativity, recently, is as important in education as literacy. Every child has extraordinary capacity of creativity that can be obtained by having a will to be wrong. It does not mean that being wrong is the same thing as being creative. However, nearly all the schools, nowadays, teach the children how to be good at some subjects such as mathematics and science, not on art. This bears hierarchy in education systems and mainly because the education system was developed to fulfil job and industry demand. But, jobs now need not only high education or intelligence but also creativity.

Based on Ken, there are 3 things people know about intelligence. Firstly, intelligence is diverse, it means that people think in many different ways - in sound, movement, visually. The second is dynamic, intelligence is amazingly interactive. From the interactive brain, original idea comes and leads to the creativity. The third is distinct, it means that people have their own way to do some activities.

Ken recommends people to use their not only intelligences but also imaginations and creativities wisely to face uncertain problems in the future. People should rethink the fundamental principles in educating creativity to the children.
nda18   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / All in all, I disagree that a person should be able to speak language to understand other cultures [3]

Hi Mr. Dioba
this is my corrections for your essay :)

Several people argue that someone [ i think you need to write conjunction here 'that someone who want to... ] want to understand ...
... only way people to communicationcommunicate each other around (the)world.
... it makes visitors difficult for communication and understand[ i prefer to write : visitors difficult to communicate and to understand ] each other ...
... visitors want to travel forto learn about cultures ...
nda18   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Comprehending communication relies on cultural mastery of the local language. [3]

Hi Ms. Dils
this is my review for the first paragraph of your essay

... the way individuals communicatecommunication , this terms leadslead to the opinion in ...
RelatingRelating to this issue, (...) that comprehension incomprehending communication not only relies on ... (after 'not only', you have to add 'but also....' ).

help mine to :)
nda18   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Learn Culture from its Language which is the utmost important instrument to communicate with people [3]

Some people think that person can never understand the culture of a country unless they speak the language.
Do you agree with this opinion?


Languages are the important tool to communicate with other people around the world. Some people regard the languages as the only way to understand the culture of a country. There are several reasons why I believe that knowing how people speak in their language is not the predominant way to understand the culture of the nations.

There is no doubt that language is the utmost important instrument to communicate with people. In fact, language, as the identity of country as well as culture, becomes reflection of the culture itself. People can deducing the culture of a nation by comprehending their language. Taking Javanese culture, one of the Indonesian cultures, as an example, the majority Javanese speak calmly and slowly. It can be expected that they have polite and friendly culture. Different to people living in Medan, a city at North Sumatera, they speak much louder than Javanese people and more impolite. It can be indicated that they have strong personality and though culture.

However, there are also another way to apprehend a country culture such as learning their customs or their behaviours. For instance, some Hindi people usually pour milk to their statue, which regards as their God. It reflects that they respect their God with the best material from their environment.

In brief, even though some people have mind-set that speak other country language is the only way to understand the culture of a country, but learning from not only its language but also its customs and behaviours are the best way to comprehend the culture of a nation.

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