Writing Feedback / Question about writing task 2 Ielts: Children play computer games [3]

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games.

What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Computer games have become more popular in over the world and children can easily gain access to them. This essay discusses the downside effects of playing digital games on computer of youngsters and gives measures to mitigate its bad impacts.

One of the major issues associated with this is that teenager's physical health will probably run a higher risk of contracting illnesses. This can be exemplified by how worse metabolism the youth get if they sit in front of computers for a long time. Another alarming problem is that children's characteristics could be worsen by playing computers games too much. They can get angry more easily and lose their patience to everything. As a result, those who play digital games on computers without control become more impulsive and careless about society.

There are two main measures to tackle this problem. One solution to this problem is for schools to organize more extracurricular activities and thus students could be closer to the nature and society. Another feasible solution would be for parents to incentivize theirs kids to do more outdoor activities. It leads to the result that their children will be kept far from digital devices.

To conclude, excessive playing computer games brings a myriad of detrimental impacts on children. Encouraging kids and organizing more outdoor activities are two measures to solve this problem.

Writing Feedback / TECHNOLOGY AND TRADITIONAL CULTURES. AGREE OR DISAGREE [2]

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is argued that there will be a loss of traditional cultures because of technology developments. Technology is not able to get along with traditional cultures. I personally agree with this statement because the convenient aids of technology and its modern definitions of problems can deter traditional beliefs.

On the one hand, communication culture recently has been aided with the convenience of the new technology. In recent years, people have had more opportunities to communicate with others through Internet. This is because there is neither distance boundary nor time-consuming wait. For instance, an email is immediately sent and received by a person which the writer aims to, without concerns about how far-reaching distance of the receiver is or whether the receiver can read this email or not. By this way, it is obvious that writing letters, which is a common way of communication to others as traditional culture, has become an inconvenient way of sending messages to others who are in far-reaching places.

Moreover, there are various contemporary notions of the world contrast to traditional beliefs. With the development of various open-mind lectures on social networking sites, marriage culture is gradually considered as an independent choice of each person, which is not accepted by the traditional marriage culture in the past, parents depend on every aspect of life of their offspring. Furthermore, in recent years, human being have been more open-minded about LGBT phenomenon by some gender campaigns produced on Internet. As a case in point, two girls or two boys can get married with each other under the acknowledgement of some developed nations, they are even received numerous blesses from people around the world by updating their marriage videos on Youtube. As a result, the disappearance of traditional cultures is inevitable as if they are still upheld by any old-fashioned mind, this person will probably be left behind the development of society.

To conclude, I personally agree with the statement that traditional cultures will be disappeared by the virtue of technology develops because the appearance of many modern notions and the convenience that technology has brought to civilization.

Dear mentor, can you give which band of my writing is? (in IELTS criteria) Thanks in advance. I really appreciate

Writing Feedback / SERIOUS CRIMES SOLVE BY DEATH PENALTY OR OTHER SOLUTIONS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS [2]

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. while some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed.

Discuss both views.

The number of serious crimes commitments has been increasing annual. It is considered by many that different solutions are needed to be taken into consideration. I, however, believe capital punishment is the greatest measure to tackle this problem as the more tolerant government's law is, the more serious criminals the society appear.

On the one hand, there are various reasons why some believe that different solutions still work efficiently instead of carrying death penalty. Firstly, offenders will gain opportunities to become useful citizens if they are well-informed with moral knowledge through education in prisons. Giving wrongdoers a chance of rehabilitation is a special present for them to make a fresh start. Secondly, instead of introducing death penalty, psychological therapy is another effective solution because almost serious criminals do endure at least a psychological problem, which control their guilty behaviors. Once can be solved if the psychological barriers are overcome and thus, they gradually exhibit their humane behaviors.

On the other hand, I would argue that capital punishment has a crucial role to play. If a killer is reintegrated into society, there will be a high possibility that they will commit crimes again. This is mainly because they will have more chances to meet their crews and plan for their next flawless crime commitments. As a result, the society's security is profoundly affected and considerably threatened. Moreover, people have a tendency to be afraid of being died and hence, they endeavor not to commit serious crimes. Therefore, the crime rate will be able to drop in the following years. As a consequence, implementing a policy of zero tolerance like capital punishment is the most powerful measure to punish serious criminals.

To conclude, although people think that there are other solutions to solve serious crimes, I personally believe that death penalty can act as a deterrent because of its impacts, which are not only on criminals but also on law-abiding citizens.