Undergraduate / NYU Supplement Personal Statements -- Looking for Constructive Criticism! [2]

In addition to any work experience that you listed on your application, please tell us how you spent your most recent summer vacation.

It isn't easy being a Harry Potter fan. Waiting on a two block line for a midnight release for an anticipated Potter flick is normal for any fandom member. Some called me crazy, others joined me. Being engulfed in a sea of screaming Potter fans at the New York City premiere almost two weeks prior was an experience I would never forget; after all, I have the scars and signatures to prove it. What does it take to be a Potter fan? It takes determination, guts, and a willingness to get a black eye.

If you had the opportunity to spend one day in New York City with a famous New Yorker, who would it be and what would you do?

A day with Lucy McGillicuddy would be the epitome of hilarity. Our day would consist of montages at Fifth Avenue's most expensive stores. Clothes would be tried on, but never purchased. Our lattes would get cold after speaking for hours about favorite films, attractive celebrities, and Ricky Ricardo's habit of underestimating Lucy's talents. How easily I could relate. New York City streets would be filled with hysteric laughter at our own ridiculous jokes. The city, our inevitable playground.

Write a haiku, limerick, or short poem that best represents you.

I am no genius
But ne'er underestimate
I will prove you wrong.

In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life. Please tell us the name of your movie and briefly summarize the story line.

Ink. (My name), Editor-At-Large of a prominent New York City magazine, has taken on his most difficult challenge yet---himself. Given the task of writing an article depicting the beginnings of a successful journalist, (my name) must return to his roots to discover the life he has attempted to forget. The challenge becomes harder than anticipated when he must recount the torment of high school homophobia, the struggles of a financially crippled mother, and the burden of a distant father.

Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

The meeting between Steinhardt and I seemed like sudden fate. The Media, Culture, and Communications program had awakened an interest that I believed to be non-existent. I now understand the way media expands culture. The way culture expands media. As an MCC major I will have the opportunities of NYU and Steinhardt alike at my disposal. I will use those opportunities in conjunction with the city to not only further my endeavors, but to make my voice heard. I hope the Comm. Club has room for a new member.

Undergraduate / Emmanuel "a person who has had a significant influence on you"-CommonApp [2]

Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

" I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference."- Ellen Goodman

"NO RUNNING! THIS IS A LIBRARY!" bellowed a librarian, her fists in the air and feet stomping on the marble tiled floors. Days like these were typical at the Queens Library. One would worry if it went on without one troublemaker testing the tempers of employees. Still, I often continued my daily errand hoping to be spared of their antics, the wheels of my cart squeaking as I pushed it down aisles. Most days I felt the routinism of working at a library would never end. At times I shelved and, while no one else watched, hid behind aisles to read novels labeled as "returns". Never did it occur to me that I would soon be leaving the silence of the adult section for somewhere far more interesting---and loud.

The children's section was more like an unconventional nursery rather than a quiet place to read. The children congregated around the computers, teased their neighbors, and often picked their noses once or twice. At the time my position certainly seemed less than endearing; after all, insect and dinosaur picture books had replaced Shakespeare and Austen. One boy however caught my immediate attention, he was certainly different from the rest.

The boy was fairly dark skinned, his head shaved, and his clothes seemed like they might have been purchased at a modern African market. He was enveloped by stacks of books, his eyes focused on the pages, and his lips moving without sound. I often peered up from my copy of Deathly Hallows just to catch glimpses of the boy who read furiously---or so I believed.

The day Emmanuel finally approached me was the day I finally uncovered the mystery---uncertainty. "What is this word?" he had asked. I was surprised and impressed by the candidness of his question. Naturally I could not help but oblige to his curiosity. It was then that the one word turned into a sentence, a paragraph, a page, until finally an entire book. I had my work cut out for me.

From then on I arrived at the library extra early, making sure to do as much shelving as I could. Reading for my own pleasure would have to be put on hold. The Phonics section would often be my first stop. Carefully I would choose the day's newest vowel or phrase, making sure they were appropriate for our lesson. Emmanuel was a frequent visitor, and while I still had a job to do I was happy to devote my lunch breaks entirely to him. Reading lit Emmanuel up, he was immersed. I loved that.

Gradually the student himself became the teacher. Quickly the benefits of my fondness for literature became apparent. Emmanuel's inability to read had shown me that I could help someone, and by doing so spread an interest in reading. The boundaries of Social Darwinism were being broken for me. Rather, the relationship between equity and community became clearer. I had the capability of using my interests and sharing them with others. Inspiring others.

Although I helped to reinforce Emmanuel's reading abilities, he had unknowingly done something for me. Emmanuel had reinforced my ability to communicate. Communication is an art that is vital to our society, and without a voice, one remains the needle in the haystack. It was that summer that Emmanuel allowed me to witness how easily my voice can be heard through another. How easily one's interest in something as simple as books can influence and lead someone to an eventual passion of their own, as he had done for me.

As my time at the library drew closer to an end, I could not help see part of myself within Emmanuel. He was a boy who loved to learn. A boy that was captivated in his own small world when he read. A boy with an unwavering curiosity. I soon came to realize that I was capable of doing much more than remaining an introverted bookworm. I had come to terms with the fact that passion was not something bestowed upon the "lucky ones" or those "born" with it. One's own passion can be found in the most unusual of places, and within the youngest of individuals.

Undergraduate / Brown Supplement - "Why Brown?" and "Anticipated Degree" [4]

These were written in a few hours. Any feedback is always appreciated.

Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?

"Does anyone know anything about Brown's curriculum?" My hand soared high into the air. In the past, I may have had trouble answering questions in math class---but this one, I knew. "Brown is notorious for their open-curriculum," I explained, "students are encouraged to explore various academic areas. It is all about being free to study what you want, no matter who you are." My peers and guidance counselor stared heavily toward my side of the room. The Brown admissions representative smiled, nodded, and further elaborated on my answer. On that day Brown had solidified in my mind. Brown had become the new summer home I have never been fortunate enough to have. It is at this new home that I would be housed under a roof of an open-minded community. I would be given the leisure of resting my feet on a sofa of independence, free to study what I wanted, yet invigorated by the idea of academic exploration. I want to enjoy the lush Italian culture on Federal Hill. Cheer with Bruno at Brown Stadium. Volunteer at the LGBTQ Resource Center. Ultimately, I am confident that at Brown my abilities would be tested. My beliefs would be questioned. My interests---inevitably molded.

Why are you drawn to the academic fields you indicated in Question #6?
Often, the general consensus is that no lessons are ever learned your last year of high school. Nothing new is capable of being taught---we seem to think we know everything. Although very recent, it was in my AP English Literature course that I had been given a completely different conception on literature and why it is written. My teacher had posed a simple question to the class, "Why do writers write?" The class was stumped. I was quick to admit that I myself had never given the question much thought, even though I was a die-hard bookworm. As a writer, I questioned my own motives for writing. What did I want to instill in readers? Suddenly, it had dawned on me. The answer was emotion. It is emotion that writers seek to invoke through their work. Novelists hope to teach new ideas. Poets encourage readers to cry, laugh, and to ask "why?" At Brown, I hope to study Literatures & Cultures in English to better understand the affect of literature on individuals. The Brown transnational approach towards literature would provide me with a refreshingly unconventional education in English, that which I yearn for. Literature teaches us more than "cliché" morals. It allows us to hear the voices of past generations. Conceptualize past civilizations. Learn from our mistakes. Literature's biggest pull is that which we take for granted---its ability to make us feel.

Undergraduate / "best advice you have been given, and why?" - Brown Supplement [5]

What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given, and why? 500 words maximum. It is 540-ish. That's fine, I think.

I loved times like these. Moments where my father's breath reeked of too much alcohol. When the Puerto Rican humidity made my skin sticky to the touch. When stars were perfectly visible for the first time in months in the night sky.

My father and I usually sat on my grandmother's porch, rocking on our chairs. We often spoke of old memories of my mother, my childhood, and---how much he loved me. My father made sure that I knew I was his tesoro, his treasure, his everything. "Nunca dejes que nadie te diga que no puede hacer algo," he would say, "si alguien duda de sus capacidades, demostrar que están equivocados." Never let anyone tell you that you cannot do something; if someone doubts your abilities, prove them wrong. With a kiss on my forehead and an arm around my shoulder, his advice had become much more than mere words of wisdom.

When I returned to frigid New York at the end of my vacations with my father, it always seemed like he and I were miles apart. Still, his advice lingered. Coincidentally, it was through academic adversity that the value of what my father preached became more than a father and son "talk." I was quick to realize that my own underestimation fed into other's own perceptions of my capabilities.

Enrolling in Advanced Placement courses was the start of my own personal academic growth. Most of the "honors" students had already taken atleast one AP course prior to their junior year---I certainly felt like a fish out of water. My first days as an official "AP student" were not the most welcoming. Faces of curiosity and confusion followed me as I sat, took notes, and raised my hand to answer questions. I could not help but wonder if my peers believed that I did not belong among them. "Who is he?" "Is he even smart enough to be here?" Surely, many questions like these ran through many of their minds. My insecurities began to build up. There came a point where I felt compelled to stop myself from raising my hand in class, in fear that my answer would be wrong.

More than ever, my father felt close to me. His advice had become an echo that stuck more than the tropical humidity that I missed. Inexplicably, I had been given reassurance of my capabilities. Confidence in myself, something I lacked, was the only way to offset anyone's doubts towards me. My father made sure to instill in my subconscious that there will always be those who view you as inferior, or incapable. In my case, my new classmates wrongfully judged my high school origins. I was a student that came from something less. I used to be a "non-honors kid."

The day I received my scores for my Advanced Placement examinations was the day I had achieved a personal goal. That day I gained satisfaction in myself. I was a changed person. A changed student. Underestimation had become my drive. The fuel to my fire. My father's priceless advice had become my guide, my motto---building blocks to the person I have become.

Undergraduate / Vassar Supplement - "Why Vassar?" [6]

How did you learn about Vassar and what aspects of our college do you find appealing?
Broom? Check. Wand? Check. Sister's golden graduation gown? Check. I was fully prepared to start my own reenactment of Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone. As a young pre-teen, I was particularly known as a zany Potter fan, with an uncanny ability of delivering lines from the film unusually well. I shouted out spells in unison with the characters, used wacky props to resemble those in the film, and---pretended I could play quidditch with a broom between my legs and a bed as my flying simulator. It has been nearly seven years since my loony Potter charade ended, and my quidditch craving has yet to have subsided. I want to know what it feels like to fly.

I was only a sophomore in high school when I had realized the usefulness of the entity that is YouTube. I viewed it as a huge time waster, procrastination's partner in crime. I must admit that I have fell victim to its allure before---especially when Vassar unexpectedly came into the picture. I was on my usual video scavenger hunt, searching for the slightest entertainment that could remedy my post homework boredom. I typed "quidditch" into the search bar and was pleasantly greeted with dozens of videos of "muggle quidditch," played by various colleges around the country. Vassar's own team immediately caught my attention. Students ran on grass as they were mounted on brooms. A deflated soccer ball substituted the quaffle as it was thrown across the field. Garbage cans had replaced the traditional hoops. Not only was I hooked but also, truthfully, utterly amused.

Vassar had suddenly solidified in my mind. It had become my childhood dream come true. I needed to find out all I could about the place Vassar students referred to as "the mini-Hogwarts." Most of my peers were completely oblivious to Vassar. For weeks it was all I could talk about. At one point my friends had had it with my small obsession, they often joked and shouted "why don't you just marry Vassar already!"

I entered Vassar's chic website like a child at a candy store. I wanted to absorb as much as I could. Quickly I requested the college catalogue, anticipating its arrival like an early Christmas present. Still, as optimistic as I was about Vassar, I wanted to make sure it was the perfect place for someone---like me. I yearned for a school that respected diversity, encouraged it. Vassar's non-discrimination policy assured me that neither my race nor sexuality would ever be treated negatively, rather, it would be celebrated. I was not even a student, and already I felt accepted, wanted, sought out.

In between taking the virtual tour and reading quick Vassar facts, my catalogue finally arrived. Its white, simple, and abstract cover intrigued me. The bolded word "limitless" stared at me like big passionate eyes. I skimmed the testimonials of students and faculty, enlightened by Vassar's ability to facilitate one's endeavors. I was amazed to see the breadth of diversity in Vassar's student organizations. How easily I could see myself as a prominent member of Blegen House. A writer for the Miscellany News. Academically, I would be taught in ways most students only dream about---with flexibility, with independence. I would be allowed to double major in English and Media Studies, while at the same time encouraged to test the waters of other academic areas. I would be able to put the foreign language requirement to use through study abroad. I could order a tiramisu in Italy. Properly ask directions to the nearest museum in Japan.

More than ever, Vassar felt like home. The Thompson Library would become my new reading space. The Shakespeare Garden my new breathing space. The incredibly diverse Vassar community, my new family.

Never in a million years would I have guessed that my childhood obsession with Potter would lead me to the college of my dreams. To this day, I have never been fortunate enough to undergo that wondrous experience of flight---literally atleast. That feeling of excitement, wonder, and adventure. It is undeniable that the meeting between Vassar and I has been fate, tirelessly at work. If you ask me, I now know how to fly. All that is left is for Vassar to become my broom.