Undergraduate / Piano vs. Stereotypical Asian - Which one should I pick? [3]

For Common app activity essay. I've wrote about two of activities.
I love both activities and i don't know which one to pick. please help me choosing one/tell me which one is better choice!!

Plus, since it's my 1st draft, and English isn't my first language, I need a lot of help on grammar/style.

Please critique me on my grammar/style/overall.

Thank you!!

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer).

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I have been playing the piano since I was seven; therefore, I could play quite professionally for my church and several performances. However, about two years ago, I saw an orchestra performing at local theatre, and at that moment, I wanted to join the orchestra so bad. Although the piece was a piano concerto and the soloist was flawless, one piano just couldn't beat the beautiful harmony of seventy different players. That's how I started violin. I started to take some lessons, but my mother couldn't afford money for weekly lessons; therefore, I practiced on my own by watching Youtube clips. After six months, I auditioned for an orchestra, and I was lucky to make it. Now I'm playing first violin at two major orchestra, and I love every aspects of being in the orchestra. It was the time when I felt a great sense of accomplishment.

My friends think of me as a stereotypical Asian because I'm an Asian who is in Asian club. To be honest, the initial reason why I joined the Asian club is because I thought it was mandatory for Asian students. By the time, I was an immigrant from a homogenous country who couldn't even speak English fluently -I was not ready for such a diverse world. However, my friends in the club were the students like me who had overcome the difficulties that I was going through. With their help I could participate school-wide events and perfectly adapt into the new diverse society. I still feel like home when I'm in the club, and now, I want others to experience the same thing. As the president of the club now, I will help students like me to feel like home.

Undergraduate / Supplements: Secret place + New Course + Unexpected things + Why our college? [4]

I have to choose three essays, and I've wrote four so far
Please help me with grammar and choosing which three should be sent to College!!

Any opinions are welcome!!

1. Secret place essay.

Every Sunday at New Haven church after I play the piano for the morning praise and opening hymn, the youth group of our church has to leave the nave and wait for the youth group pastor right before the choir performs. My passion in music doesn't allow me to miss the choir, so instead of going straight to the meeting, I go to my special place -the church attic. Nobody uses this place now, yet the place is perfect to listen to the choir performing underneath.

As I stand there listening to the choir, I look back and confess about the past week, and pray for the well being of upcoming week. I was always too shy to pray and speak out loud next to people, but in this place I can speak whatever I want. This little room becomes my own secret chapel for ten minutes until the choir is done with their song.

2. Introduction to new course essay

The name of the course would be: The Guidelines to the Sensible Life. This course is designed for the enriching life of Notre Dame students. Specifically, the course will cover three general parts of one's life; the college life, working life, and social life. The course will require students to make thorough profiles of life's ordeals, and the professor will teach students how to deal with those events wisely. For example, the course will teach students how to survive from hardcore party, how to refuse friends' excessive request without hurting their feelings, or even how to revenge on the annoying boss without getting caught. These guidelines are essential for the successful life especially in this time period because people these days are highly social and emotional. Most colleges would rather focus more on knowledge-based intelligence, but emotional intelligences are significant in today's society. This course will guarantee Notre Dame students' smooth social life during and after college.

4. When you surprised other people or yourself by doing some thing unexpected

I was shocked when I found out that one of my important immigration forms was missing from my folder when the airplane landed on the JFK airport. I could be sent back to Korea, but that was not the reason why I was surprised. I was surprised at myself because I realized that I hadn't grown up since elementary school. I was only an immature ninth grader entering a foreign country with no families or friends around to depend on. I realized that it was time for me to grow up. At the airport security office, I did my best to explain everything with my short English. l asked to make a phone call to the immigration agency in Korea to see if I could get the document by fax. After listening to my long explanation and waiting for the fax, the officer nodded and banged the green stamp on my visa at last. As I stepped on the other side of the glass door of JFK airport, I was surprised at myself once again because I felt myself growing up.

They are rough draft. So I need a lot of help!!

Especially grammar!! English is not my first language!!

Undergraduate / "I am not an athlete-type" - Why Notre Dame? [2]

This is rough draft, and I have some problems with English grammar. (ESL student)

Please help me with the grammar and any good suggestions are all welcome!!

Thank you!!

There are so many reasons why I am "interested" in attending the University of Notre Dame; various undergraduate medical research programs, thorough pre-medical course and high acceptance rate to medical school, strong alumni connections, and of course, beautiful campus with catholic background as well. All these strengths are perfect matches for my interests and aspirations.

However, the one thing that puts Notre Dame on the top of my list is its sports.
Anyone can see from my resume that I am not an athlete-type. People often think that I am a stereotyped Asian kid who does not know anything about sports but just play classical music. But I love watching football games with my friends, and especially I love soccer. Also I am aware of the true value of the sports as well. During World-cup season, all the people in Korea become together for our national team. Sports convey community spirit into the society and bring people together. Notre Dame has strongest college spirit among any other colleges in the nation, and that spirit is the reason why I am most excited to attend Notre Dame. Despite all these strengths of sports, I am still not very athletic because simply I am not very good at it. However, I read a statement of one current Notre Dame student on College information pamphlet. He said, "Even if you don't love sports, like me, Notre Dame will make you an athlete by the time you graduate." That statement just got me. Now I can not wait to attend Notre Dame to find the other side of myself.