Undergraduate / "a passion for mechanics and strong humanitarian" what makes Stanford a good place [4]

How does this sound? Any feedback is appreciated.

From the very beginning, I expressed deep interest for cars and remember the triumph on assembling a toy motor engine. Thus, with a passion for mechanics and a strong humanitarian aspect; I aspire to be the next Elon Musk of the globe. I plan to use innovative ideas in the automobile industry and the financial gains to help future ecological causes.

Stanford offers me this platform in many ways. In terms of academics; 112 and 113 Mechanical Engeering will help to increase my skill and complement my work experience as a trainee tremendously. A recent development of solar energy use in The Global Climate and Energy Project (GCEP) ...

Undergraduate / "my mother calls me a 'shrink'" - Stanford: Roommate essay [9]

Tell me what you think about this one. Any feedback is appreciated.

Dear Roommate,

Though a bit shy, I am generally called Mr. Bollywood; so expect a hug and a big smile when I meet you. This generally removes my apprehension of meeting new people. It doesn't help that I've never shared a room with anyone except my canine companion. Thus it goes without saying that I am an avid animal lover. So, try not to be surprised if I turn up one day with a squirrel in my hand and a look of silly devotion on my face.

Your biggest nightmare would be my paranoia with organization on my study table. My desk would be uniquely neat at all times, with each item geometrically aligned. In contrast, my clothes would be strewn across my bed (much to my mother's annoyance), without a slightest hint of worry. Though a bit careless at times, I do manage to prioritize my daily chores and get my work done efficiently.

But I am not all of a nerd. I enjoy dancing along with listening to music. You may find me gyrating to the rhythmic tunes of a Bollywood song, or bouncing in sync to the beats of techno at random times.

Ultimately, if there's one thing that you can rely on, it's my support at all times. I am a trust worthy guy and I fit in well into my mother's description of a 'shrink'. I am confident that my adaptability and my warm nature will help me sail through and value this experience.

Undergraduate / "physicists have gone down the wrong road" - Stanford Essay: intellectual vitality [3]

Please be honest with feedback. Any help is greatly appreciated. I hope I haven't confused anyone and made it uncomprehendable.

I've always felt that physicists have gone down the wrong road ever since we started dwelling into particle physics. The quest for "what are we really made of?" has been never ending.

I was first introduced to this concept a few months ago by my physics teacher who talked about 'fundamental' particles called quarks. I did not believe that quarks were our core elements because there were so many variations of them. My belief of a single deity also made me skeptical to believe that quarks were the basis of who we are. Regardless of my opinion on the topic, I was hooked.

Digging deeper, I found out about the Higgs Boson or the "God particle" as physicists call it. According to Peter Higgs' theory, this particle is present in all matter. I found a similarity between Higgs' theory and the belief of many religions in the world; claiming a divine presence is all around and within us. The correlation between this religious belief and the Higgs Boson got me thinking about the 'God' in everything.

I wanted to merge the two and prospect further. Going a step further, I believe that 'God' itself was the core element of matter. If we broke down all the matter in the world today; cars, trees and even humans, we would find a divine presence.

If scientists at CERN are able to prove that there is such a thing as the Higgs Boson, then science and religion would have common ground and the two paths would be amalgamated into one understanding.

Writing Feedback / 'all round education is vital to a studen' - GRE Issue Essay [3]

Hello all :)

Below is an issue essay under timed conditions and I would appreciate it if I could get a GRE grading on it. Please be honest, but supply feedback with the scores as well :)

Thanks

Prompt: "It takes a village to raise a child." The education of your children is the task of the community as a whole, not merely the province of teachers and local school administrators.

Essay:
Educational institutions and teachers simply lay the footpaths, while the children must decide how their educational garden grows. It is important for a student to obtain a holistic education in order to survive in today's global climate and communities help immensely in achieving this goal. However, one must not abate the importance of these institutions during the moulding years of a child's life. It must be recognised that these play an integral role in their whole learning experience.

Schools and teachers allow children to gain from a standard level of education nationally. It gives the child a level playing field to test their knowledge and understanding of concepts, enabling healthy competition between minds. Undoubtedly, a child that grows within a well-connected community will benefit as well. Many "street smart" skills that are not taught in schools i.e. learning to be astute with money, can only be learnt outside the educational environment and these should be valued greatly. However, looking at it from a career perspective, schools are the preferred medium that allow children to expand their knowledge base. A student cannot hope to learn advanced engineering concepts if he/she wants to work in that field in the future. Admittedly, the knowledge acquired in these institutions can be used in communities as a form of practical application, but the reverse is often not true.

While some kids may have long-lasting communities to grow within, others may live in many for an ephemeral period. Consider a child that is mobile nationally. If he is constantly changing communities, the chance for him to gain significant knowledge is unlikely as relationships are not built. Consequently, provided he is within national borders, he can hope to gain a continuous and uninterrupted educational pattern through schools and teachers as the curriculum is similar throughout the country. Students in this scenario have to rely on educational institutions to gain their knowledge pertaining to communities being of little or no use.

In fact, recent studies show that 60% of all jobs in the US require higher education. It follows that schools and teachers are important if the child wishes to secure a prosperous future. Unfortunately, a child that emphasises education from a community cannot hope for as bright a future.

However, communities are still a valid and important part of a student's education process. They can be an exemplary medium through which to apply concepts learnt in school. For example, an engineering student may have learnt about heat expansion and wishes to see it take place in a garage. Communities and existing businesses will allow him the chance to experience them in practicality; something not all educational institutions emphasise on.

Thus, it can be noted that an all round education is vital to a student; one in which communities are involved. Furthermore, communities are adept at providing practical situations to theoretical concepts for children that wish to learn more. However, it is an extreme to claim that education cannot happen without communities, as some students may not have the chance to live within a community during their educational years and this should not banish them from a chance for enlightenment.

Writing Feedback / Entrepreuners and Jobs - GRE Issue essay (rate and comment) [3]

I would really appreciate it if someone could give me some feedback on my essay. Thanks!

People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

We live in a world divided in to positive and negative influences. External factors have always had an impact on man and history shows that many a great or flawed men were a product of these influences. Ultimately, an individual, although being told to remain unique, will tend to follow and adapt some form of behavior determined by society. This stems from the Darwenian theory of survival of the fittest; in the global arena today, those are people that absorb all external positive influences and create something unique to reach their personal acme.

Entrepreuners have a tendency to convert their deleterious past and create a unique experience for customers in their products. Consider Steve Jobs in his 2005 speech in Stanford. His past was bleak as he could not afford to get in to higher education and ultimately led him to drop out of school. The adopted status slapped on his forehead drove him to prove the world wrong about being abandoned by his mother and thus his zest for computing was born. As a result, in latter years as CEO of Apple Inc, he was reported to be adamant on his decisions, swaying little to compromises on his visions and outlook of his products. This stubborness was derived from "a need to be in control", as quoted by Tim Cook (the current CEO of Apple), something he did not have in his earlier years.

Similarly, while Jobs may have created ingenous products using his past forces, Adolf Hitler used these very forces to the other end of the spectrum. In his book Mein Kampf, he details about his experiences with Jewish population and the control they held in Germany at the time. His inital attitude towards the Jews were not of scorn; his outline of mass media in the country at the time (and rightly so) was the Jewish propaganda that led to elections of their candidates to parliament. The sense of losing his country to false propaganda in his eyes was too much to bear and his later actions dwelled in mass murder as a result of it. That is not to justify his actions, however we can see as a partriot, his love for the country blinded his view on humanity and led him to eschew any survivors under his regime.

Admittedly, people are not robots and this logic does not apply to all. Many past heros have not been swayed by society's forces and instead have developed their own sense of belonging. Martin Luther King Jr. aptly demonstrated this with his Civil Rights Movement in 1955, which ultimately led to the end of segregation in the U.S. His behavior was not determined by external forces, but rather an inner feeling of belonging and love for people. His whole agenda was based around what he thought was right and was later confirmed by the mass of people that gathered to share and promulgate this view.

Thus, it can be assessed that society tends to influence people with good or bad experiences. However, as individuals, we have a choice on how to effectively use these to our advantage. Like Jobs, we could convert our weak past in to a strong and healthy future or as Hitler let external influence drive us to obscure our view on life. Although extreme in examples, we can see the effects of society and it's forces and thus must strive to remain indivualistic as much as possible. As John F. Kennedy once said, "Do not pray for easy lives, pray to be stronger men".