Undergraduate / Short answer (violin) / gap year explanation [5]

Short Answer:
I am Asian girl. Everyone expects me to be like Sarah Chang or Yo-Yo Ma. My inability to be a music genius disappointed me in my childhood. At the age of 11, I lost my passion and love for music. As I immigrated to the United States, however, music has been my best friend. Because of my language barrier, I struggled to form a friendship. Musical notes, thankfully, are a universal language. While playing violin enabled me to make friends by sharing the same passion and interest, the Salem Youth Symphony offered the challenges that developed me to be an advanced violinist. Through this activity, I learned to discipline myself, including dedication to practice daily and responsibility to analyze different interpretations. I realized perseverance results in progress, which became my work ethic that I apply to every aspect of life.

Gap Year Explanation:
Frogs are widely known as exceptional jumpers. When they prepare themselves for a jump, they first flex their forelegs. Then, they stretch their hind legs vertically and lock the muscles. And...jump! Surprisingly, they can easily jump over two meters. The secret to this astonishing jumping skill is their hindlimb muscles. Stretching their hindlimb muscles in crouching positions allows them to generate the mechanical energy that propels them into the air. Metaphorically, a gap year is the frogs' hindlimb muscles because it prepares a student to start a new journey with maturity and confidence, which ultimately leads to a success in college. Before I start my next ten years of education beyond high school, I want to take this time to step back and reflect my values. What is success? The misconception of 'success' results in famous professionals with hundreds of awards wondering if all their work was worth it. Without taking a year off, I would have been one of them; mold myself into the society's image of success. The real success is achievable only when I fully understand myself. From my experience, I recognized the value of my culture after exposing myself in another culture. Similarly, I will be able to define my values after interacting with people with different backgrounds and perspectives. I plan to travel around the world in my gap year and I hope to gain life experiences that would enrich my perspective on personal values, thus preparing myself for a life-altering challenge-surviving in a college.

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Undergraduate / "I asked about her experience with orthodontics" - College of Arts and Science [2]

During my first sleepover experience, I noticed my friend putting her retainers in her mouth. As I gave her a sympathetic look, I asked about her experience with orthodontics. "Oh...painful. But it's so worth it!" Her enthusiastic answer surprised me. If I invested thousands of dollars and my golden three years of time, I would not want to wear retainers for life. With the realization in temporariness of orthodontic results, I initiated my research in orthodontics with curiosity, and discovered an interesting fact; it is openly admitted that contemporary orthodontics do not know the cause of malocclusion. Since genetics have a strong tie to the size of the jaw, the quantity of the teeth, and the shape of the teeth, I have assumed the cause of the malocclusion to be related to genetics. If the cause were only genetics, however, the orthodontics' result should not be temporary nor require retention for life. While it is true that genetics determine the jaw structure, the environmental factor determines the severity of malocclusion. Learning about orthodontics fascinates me because not only it relates to aesthetic aspect of beauty, but it also prevents the cavity, thus enhancing one's oral health. I have a passion to innovate a permanent orthodontic treatment because today's orthodontics only have the ability to treat the symptoms, not the causes. I intend to major in biology to investigate every cause of malocclusion as an undergraduate before I go further in orthodontics. With the Cornell's best biology program, I hope to gain a firm foundational knowledge through its eclectic scientific researches and fulfill my intellectual curiosity.

Please edit my essay! I will return the favor.

Undergraduate / "I am an overachiever." - Johns Hopkins #2: future activities [2]

Prompt: A typical student at Johns Hopkins spends less than 15 hours each week in a classroom, leaving lots of time for volunteer opportunities, clubs and organizations, athletics, social events, and other on- and off-campus activities. Aside from the academic interests you've already expressed, in what activities do you plan to engage as an undergraduate at Johns Hopkins?

I am an overachiever. If I am given an opportunity to challenge my full potential, I will always take an advantage of it even if I fail sometimes. Johns Hopkins provides infinite opportunities for students to challenge themselves academically as well as enjoy their lives outside of classroom. As an undergraduate at Johns Hopkins, I would like to partake in music programs. I have developed my love and passion for music throughout my life because music is a way of expressing myself without speaking or writing a language. As I researched on different music clubs and organizations at Johns Hopkins, I found my interest in joining the Choral Society, Gospel Choir, and Hopkins Symphony Orchestra. I also plan to participate in the Greek life. I have heard that the Greek life represents the real college experience, which initiated my curiosity and interest. The Alpha Kappa Delta Phi and the Alpha Epsilon Delta interest me the most. I belong in Asian American culture, and I want to contribute my perspective that I gained from my own experience. Also, I have a passion to be a pre-med student, in which the Alpha Epsilon Delta would provide me a connection to other pre-med students. I would love to join the cheerleading team because I have always dreamed myself cheering on the sideline during football and basketball games. Lastly, I plan on volunteering at a local hospital or a private clinic to further keep myself in the medical atmosphere, which I truly enjoy. From listing all the activities I would like to participate at Johns Hopkins, I can just imagine myself immersing in diverse activities and living a very pleasant college life with excitement.

Please edit my essay.. Any grammar error? Also, I have 282 words, but the word limit is 250.:( I would appreciate your help very much.