Writing Feedback / Soon people who cannot work with computers will be disadvantaged- IELTS [12]

Dear Friends,

Please help me to review below essay for IELTS task-2

Soon people who cannot work with computers will be disadvantaged. To what extent do you agree or disagree with idea?

The computer is one of the most powerful equipment in the modern world. Furthermore, people are using it everywhere in their daily life. Therefore, I completely agree that if people are unable to the computer, it will have a negative impact on their daily routine.

Firstly, computers are using in banks to increase the productivity. The computers are used in banks for several purposes like monitor daily transactions, ATMs and online banking and therefore people should know that how to use the Internet in order to access online banking services and withdraw money from the ATM using their pin numbers via provided navigations.

Secondly, the workplace is another important sector where these indispensable devices are used in order to minimize the workload for employees. Consequently, it will help to companies to increase their revenue and also employees have more quality time to spend with their family. Moreover, the companies could expand their business beyond the boundaries as a result of emails, voice calls and fax.

Finally, the transportation is another sector where computers are widely used. There are many ways the computer programs are being used to control traffic in the cities. In addition to that it helps to record illegal activities such as burglaries, illegal parking and break the safety measures. As a result, it is play an important role in the transport sector and generate incomes as well as save the unnecessary costs.

In conclusion, the computers are using for several purposes in our daily life. Therefore, it is important that all people should be computer literate to use them effectively and efficiently.

Thanks

Grammar, Usage / [Poor diet] - Need help with grammar ; Which sentence is correct? [5]

Poor diet and lack of exercise have resulted in a generation who will die younger than their parents.

OR

Poor diet and lack of exercise has resulted in a generation who will die younger than their parents.

Thanks.

Writing Feedback / IELTS -Some people think that we can use as much fresh water as we want. Others think [12]

Some people think that we can use as much fresh water as we want. Others think that fresh water supply should be controlled strictly by governments as the sources are limited. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The water is one of the most important natural resources in order to human life. Some people believe that water should be freely accessible for everyone in the world, while others argue that it should be controlled by governments to ensure that available to everyone. I would argue that the water supply should be regulated by authorities for several reasons.

On the one hand, the water is a precious natural resource and it is available in a large proportion of the planet. As a result, it should be free and everyone can access it to their daily needs and people could consume the amount of water that they needed because it is free of charge. Moreover, a large amount of water is being used in agriculture and industries to produce commodities, and therefore it should not be limited usable. For example, people who are doing farming needs the huge amount water and if governments control the utilization of water then farmers would not be able to compensate the water supply bills. Therefore, it will have a negative impact on the crop yield.

On the other hand, the water system should be regulated by governments to make sure that available to their every citizen. There should be an authority to manage and control the water supply because some people may overuse it and other people could not access it. Moreover, the government should ensure that their people are accessing clean, safe drinking water and it helps to reduce the number of diseases that spread through the water such as cholera.

In summary, I am inclined to believe that the water supply should be regulated by governments to ensure that it can be easily accessible to everyone, and it is safer and cleaner.

Please input your feedback

Thanks

Writing Feedback / 'broaden horizons'; it is better to begin learning foreign language early [5]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning foreign language at primary school rather that secondary school.Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is undoubtedly true that learning a foreign language can broaden people's horizons and help to expose different cultures. Although some people believe that these languages should be in primary schools, other people argue that it is enough to learn in adulthood.

On the one hand, children have an innate ability to learn new languages easily and very quickly. They learn new skills very faster than adults so that it would be a better age to teach new things such as languages. Learning a new language is more important for every child to communicate each other. Furthermore, in a primary school teachers mainly focus on teaching their native language in order to understand pupil's behaviours and their needs. They easily started to use it fluently as a result of their parents using them daily. Consequently, primary school teachers can use the second language to communicate with students to encourage them learning and using it in the future.

On the other hand, secondary school is the best place to teach a second language because pupils are mature and willing to learn new things in their life. However, subjects are taught in adulthood school is highly focused on preparing their students for higher education as a result teachers should concentrate on main subjects rather than teaching a new language. For example, students are in secondary schools, they have to refer a lot of subject related material and lecture notes to score higher marks in exams in order to get a placement in a prestigious university or college. Therefore, they cannot focus on sub subjects like a second language.

In summary, it is clearly true that learning a foreign language may broaden children's horizons and giving them endless opportunities. However, these languages teach in primary schools the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

Please help me to all corrections that I made in this essay.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths [3]

Question :
Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

Answer:
Introduction
in many parts of the world, there is now greater equality between women and men. However, there are many professions can be done by males than females due to it is required great strengths and physical stamina, and therefore I agree with the statement.

Thanks.

Writing Feedback / IELTS- TASK 2-More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life [3]

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

Introduction

It is true that many people migrate to cities for better living conditions. Although urban areas have numerous benefits for inhabitants, there are some serious such problems as pollution, lack of houses, and too crowded. In my view, governments should take appropriate steps to tackle these issues.