Undergraduate / Natural Science/ Debating/ RPI Supp: PS + Why RPI? [2]

Hey guys~~ actually I have been working on this essay to apply for Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute for weeks, but my mind is so blank and now it refuses to work anymore.

So I need your help~ I am not really satisfied with what I got here. But I have problems figuring out how to improve it..I mean on the content wise. I think the language I got here is too bland and the not conveying too much information. So pls readers..any advice about how to make the two pieces better is HIGH APPRECIATED!!!!

note: the essay does not have a specific question, just a Personal statement plus a short explanation about why I first became interested in RPI.

Personal Statement(1-2page)
"What are you doing? It's already 12 o'clock."
"Shhh ... I'm trying to solve this math problem. Almost done."

This perhaps is the dialogue most frequently heard in our home. Since young, my best friends were neither Barbie dolls or the Twilight series, but math and natural sciences. Even before I could read, I would ask my chemistry-teacher mother every night to read me an entry from China Children's Encyclopedia. No matter whether it is an eclipse or a tsunami we were reading about, I always wanted to examine the reasons and find out the underlying principle of such amazing phenomena.

To me, the most amazing subject that human intelligence ever created is Mathematics, for its beauty boasts no embellishment, but simplicity and purity to their core. As soon as I started learning Euclid's geometry, I was simply amazed how from a few initially stipulated axioms one could develop a fairly complex, yet absolutely logical and harmonious theory. At school, as the top math student, I was selected in the math Olympiad team. By investigating with my teammates on projects that were both interesting and challenging, I was able to see how an abstruse model could be used to solve an array of practical problems. To me, the joy of solving a formidable problem after a meticulous contemplation is unparalleled. Bit by bit, the further I have gone in my math education, the more I have come to realize that mathematical puzzles and problems are omnipresent in every single field - from computer science, aerospace engineering, to finance and actuary. Many sciences and technologies that are normally interpreted as formidable and scared many away, have always been enticing to me.

I love natural science, for it constantly motivates me to inspect many interesting topics in daily life. Once, when my father was pouring his favorite red wine, the berry-like aroma from the glass wafted over to where I was sitting; immediately my curiosity was kindled. I simply had to find out how to turn the sweet grapes into this dark, aromatic drink. The extensive reading and researching finally led me to start my own wine-making project in the backyard with my father. At first, our product was not so successful, but father encouraged me to treat this experience like any other science experiment. "Be patient and never fear failure," he said. However, after times and times of experiment, we still could not figure out the best sugar/grape balance to improve the flavor and taste of wine. But we never thought of giving up. Finally when the first bottle of drinkable wine was produced, I tasted not only the sweetness in every sip of wine, but also the sweetness by learning how to turn an idea into experiment and how to obtain the hand-on skills through continuous practices and a persistent will.

In addition to excelling academically in my high school, I have been active involved in a variety of extra-curricular activities, some of which I have had to dedicate myself for years. I participated in the School debate team and led the team to the semi-final in Asian Bilingual Debate in Singapore. I choreographed group dances for school events and served as class president since freshmen year. In weekends, I become a volunteer tour guide in Provincial Museum, bringing the visitors back to the thousands years of Chinese history through my vivid explanation. In summer, I served as assistant director in the Weland Model United Nations Conference in Beijing. All these busy schedules not only allow me to delve into various interests and hobbies, but also help build my communication and leadership skills and make friends with people all around the world.

Now I see myself in the next four years, I see a girl with a dedicated mind to devote herself in the love of numbers, natural phenomena, and people. Someday in future, I hope my passion in math and science could lead me even further to uncover more secrets about the world around us, just like those predecessors who calculated out the position of Neptune on draft papers, or those who found Golden Section and Fibonacci Sequence in sunflower and conch.

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Why are you interested in Rensselaer?
My journey of discovery of Rensselaer began with my curiosity being piqued by the heraldic design of the Institute's coat of arms, especially the surveyor's levelling rod on the center charge of the escutcheon. What is the symbolic significance of the number 3 in the target?

This question led me to an exhaustive Internet search, where I came across some very esoteric definitions of the symbolism of 3. Although I do not pretend to fully understand much of these explanations, I was, however, particularly attracted by the explanation that "the number 3 is represented by a plane, is composed of unity and diversity, and restores them to harmony"

Should the 3 in the surveyor's target have the above symbolic meaning, and coupled with its motto of "Knowledge and Thoroughness" Rensselaer then offers an environment of harmony for the diversity of the intellectual pursuits of its students - an environment in which I believe I could flourish.

All of the above convince me that Rensellaar Polytechnic Institute would be the place where each spark of innovative thinking generated by its students would be appreciated, amplified and, eventually, realized. I desire to explore my interest in math in the nation's premier applied mathematics program; to participate in research with the Center for Industrial Innovation, and to hone my management and leadership skills in hands-on co-op placements. To me, the emphasis on details and the encouragement of perfection are what make Rensselaer one of the best science and technology institutes. I believe this would also be the place for me to become a meticulous and detail-oriented professional, to keep advancing and perfecting myself in the future pursuit in maths and sciences.

(224 WORDS)

Undergraduate / Math&Finance programs/Asian Bilingual Debate; U Michigan-Unique qualities/ Community [NEW]

Hey my lovely essay forum pals~~I am about to send out the u of michigan application. Can anyone tell me whether these two pieces are good to go? Or is there anything I have to improve, in grammar or content?? Thank you!!

Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (500 words maximum)

I traveled a lot. I have breezed the fresh air and climbed the skyscrapers in the most developed cities like Shanghai, Toronto, and Singapore. I have walked on the muddy road and visited the most indigenous villages in rural Shingri-La in Southwest China. In Shanghai, five dollar can only buy a cup of coffee, but in Shingri-La, the same amount could help a family to live for a week Like many developing regions in the world, China is facing an immediate social problem, where the benefits of rocketing economic development is notoriously skewed to the richest class. Witnessing the great giant between the different social classes has greatly stricken my heart and made me ponder over this question: how can we help narrow this gap and help reduce the social and economic inequality?

Luckily I find mathematics. Mathematics holds the key to answer many questions about the world around us, especially in finance. From things as simple as making a family budget, to more complex ones like estimating market prospect, the application of mathematics is everywhere. Global wise, math tool is widely applied by economists in IMF or World Bank to rate the national financial status and adjust policies accordingly. How to use the magical power of mathematics to help eliminate the national inequality is what I am eager to learn by pursuing an undergraduate degree at University of Michigan.

Owning one of the largest math programs in the country, College of Literature, Sciences, and Arts(LSA)offers one-of-a-kind education that combines learning, researching, and practicing as an integrated whole.

In teaching, the Department of Mathematics offers perhaps the most comprehensive list of courses one can find in a math program. Students are able to select among the five concentrations to prepare themselves with a solid foundation both in theories and in practice. I am especially interested in courses that explains the application of mathematics in finance, such as "Risk Management and Insurance". Besides the core curriculum in math, I would also like to investigative my broad interests in Economics, Psychology and Sociology, to help me understand the pressing global issues such as poverty and discrimination more thoroughly and profoundly.

In researching, the department's "Research Experience for Undergraduates(REU)" program attracted me a lot. In high school, being the leader in various student science projects, I enjoy the process of learning through practicing. I cannot wait to join REU program to work closely with faculty members for eight weeks in summer, for it will be a precious experience not only to learn the essential lab skills in formative researches, but also to train my persistent will in bearing any hardship in future.

In practicing, U-M offers a wide array of internship and volunteer opportunities around globe to equip students with essential working skills before graduation while at the same time enrich their global perspective. I hope I can have an opportunity to intern with international NGOs or large charitable foundations, to learn how they managed to address poverty and inequality in the underprivileged parts of the world.

Given the opportunity and the proper learning environment, I am confident I can achieve all the goals I set for myself. With the University of Michigan's long-standing reputation as a top science and engineering institute, this would be a perfect match.

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

Brainstorming, researching, arguing, defending. This four words basically summarized a big part of my high school life when I serve as the leader in the school debate team.

July 11th, ,2011. It was the day when we were notified to represent China in the Asian Bilingual Debate. But the initial feeling of excitement was soon replaced by nervousness when we found out that our opponents were highly trained and bilingually competent. I know, the only way to build up confidence and to win is to work even harder. So every day we would group together, practicing English speech skills by imitating every tone, pause and rhythm of the most influential speeches. I remember the night before the first round qualification; we brought our sleeping bags to the study room so we can work at midnight and then rest for 2 or 3 hours before the contest. However we did not even use it! We stayed awake for almost 28 hours continuously to refine and rehearse. Fortunately, it all paid off as our performance was highly praised by the judges and there we became the only Chinese team in the top 4. Now, those days of arduous training has made me realize what I firmly love about debate: it is the excitement when I can use words to make a impact. The passions about life and desire to contribute to the world unite us as a big family. Our debate team is where I belong and I truly appreciate every minute being in it.

Undergraduate / When I was little, math was a game; U Toronto-trinity - Academic interests/why Toronto? [2]

hey guys~~could you give me some suggestion about this essay? Is this on topic? I am about to submit it in four days~ so really need some revision adivice~~

How can I improve it? I am 40 words over the limit now.
Thanks! and I will revise yours, i promise!

1. Tell us about your academic interests and what you plan to study at U of T. How does your plan fit in with your long term goals? (400 words maximum) Your answer may either be typed directly in the text box or cut and pasted in from an existing document.

When I was a little girl, mathematics is a game. Every night after dinner, my dad and I would sit together at the dinner table, raising battle after battle on the draft paper to see who could solve a mathematic problem faster and better. Tackling a challenging math question by trying different solutions became my favorite intellectual game. It was not until I joined the school Olympiad team and took college level courses that I began to notice the true beauty of mathematics; how, simple multiplication can be expressed as an infinite series, how the motion of a spring can be expressed as a non-linear differential equation, how natural logarithms can confuse the transitive property, and how infinity can create solutions that just don't exist. Gradually, the more I dabble into math, the better I understand its penetrating impact on social developments, ranging from economy to science and technology, the more certain I select math as my future major.

My dream is to become a mathematician, who can use advanced math tools to explore the world of finance. During the school search, I am particularly looking for those with a strong academic and research education as well as an excellent professional internship program. This is why an undergraduate specialist degree in Mathematical Applications in Economics and Finance at University of Toronto is so attractive to me. First, the first two years of fundamental study in various theories and models would help me establish a strong math background before heading to more advanced courses such as Applied Econometrics and Time Series Analysis. Second, the department offers an one-of-a-kind "Professional Experience Year program(PEY)" for me to extend my study from classroom to the work place. Working in the industry for 12-16 months. I will be able to obtain a systematic and complete training in one firm from initiating to completing of a project. Finally, though owning one of the largest undergraduate math programs in Canada, the Department of Mathematics make sure that students will benefit from a close-knit environment. Her small class size, excellent peer mentoring program, and characteristic student seminars such as MUMS will help me nurture personal relationships with the professors and fellow students, who would continue to serve as a constant source of inspirations long after graduation.

When I picture myself in the next four years, it is at Toronto. Under the university motto "As a tree through the ages", I hope I could also grow to be a tree, to extend my root of knowledge deep enough to absorb the nourishment of knowledge so that I can mature,, flourish, and ultimately make my own contribution to the world.

Undergraduate / STUDY ABROAD PROGRAM; U Toronto-trinity supp/ extracurricular [2]

Hey guys~~ I have only four days to go~so any comment or revision is welcomed!! Thank you so much!

Describe your principal activities and interests beyond the classroom. What role will extra-curricular activities play in your life as a Trinity College student? (400 words maximum) Your answer may either be typed directly in the text box or cut and pasted in from an existing document.

When I was thirteen, I participated in a three-week study abroad program in Toronto. With my homestay mom Rosario and two other roommates from Germany and Mexico, we took walk every evening to the Mississauga campus of University of Toronto near our home. Since then, going back and study in this beautiful, modern, multi-cultural campus has become the biggest dream of mine.

In high school, my friends have been integral to my success. From initiating investigative research project to leading our school debate team to participate in the Asian Bilingual Debate in Singapore, we have always had fun while learning. This same "work hard, play hard" seems pervasive at University of Toronto, where competition is fostered with collaboration and not hostility.

Toronto's outstanding array of organizations and classes-particularly Hart House Debating Club, the Sahaja Yoga Society, and International Folk Dance Club (IFDC) (IFDC) -will allow me the freedom to pursue new interests. I have always tried to be a part of great feats in whatever capacity I can - from choreographing group dances in school to volunteering in the Provincial Museum for three years - and University of Toronto offers its students opportunities to truly contribute with unparalleled volunteer and community service opportunities. I always believe love can only be spread by extending our help to people in need. Through Toronto's Serve and Learn Program offered by the Center of Community Partnerships, I will have the opportunity to work, learn, and get inspired with non-profit organizations, community agencies, municipal governments and schools. I also hope to spend at least one summer participating in the study abroad program to Spain to tune my Spanish that I have been learning for four years. But the first thing I will do at Junior year is to become a member of Professional Experience Year program, an organization that I believe is the perfect example of the U of Toronto experience: an education that has real-world applications and a plethora of opportunities to do good with that education.

A intellectual and cultural exploration on a whole new level, the upcoming four years at U of Toronto could be challenging, but the students and faculty here will make the experience unforgettable.