Writing Feedback / The protection for endangered animal species and your opinions. [7]

Hello everyone! I am a new EF member and I will be so grateful if you can share a little your time to correct and comment for my following essay :) I also would like to receive as many as assessments as possible from all of you and give my essay a similar score or band for my IELTS essay. Thanks anyway :)

Topic: Trying to save endangered animal species from extinction is a waste of valuable resources. Do you agree or disagree?

Whether attempting to preserve rare animal species should be taken or not still remains a contentious debate. Despite the fact that some arguments contain considerable agreements for allowing such endangerd wild animals to die out for the sake of certain resources, i strongly emphasise that given the natural balance and their intrinsic value as the jewellery from our Mother Nature, protecting those invaluable assets of the ecosystem should be of the most importance.

First of all, it is inevitable that all concerted effots made to prohibit the increasing disappearances of any wild animals contributes to human's achievements in maintaining the balance of nature. As a matter of fact, existing is the natural circulation determining the sustainable habitats of all animal species throughout the world expressed as the food chain. Had it not been for such continous circle, to excess vast majority of plagues resulting from the gradual extinction of specific predators, which creats the favorable conditions for the reproduction of their preys, would have undeniably posed a disturbing threat to our ecological order considered unbreakable for a long time. Thus, the priority to save our natura habitat also corresponds to the practical wildlife conservation.

In terms of endangered animal species's intrisic values, i would contend that no exception of predators or preys constitue exclusive animal group existing in our ecosystem. Given that those endangered animal species are also regarded as valuable resources essential for not only human beings but also surrounding inhabitats, if we still remain arguments for ignoring the increasing ectinction of rare animals, definitely this biased tendency would progress as an excuse for human's irresponsibilities concerning topical exploitation for our own profits and welfare. Ensuring the impartial status in the wildlife remains the crucial root for preventing natural imbalance from deteriorating into another insurmountable problem.

By the way of conclusion, i once again reaffirm that what the government and each citizen should take preferenc over is to strive to protectany wild animal species from dying out for the sake of both ecological balance and their right to being appreciated for their natural values. Further practial actions towards endangered animal preservation ought to be taken much more seriously against our contemporary environmental degradation.

Writing Feedback / Immigrants from rural to urban areas: Effects and Solutions. [3]

Hello everyone! It's so nice to meet and exchange IELTS ideas with you all. I am just a new EF member and i will so appreciate with your help to indicate all errors in my following IELTS essay. Furthermore, i will be so grateful if you can assess my essay and give me a corresponding band score for my IELTS essay. Thanks anyway :)

Topic: These days, it seems that an increasing number of people are leaving rural areas to live in the city.
Discuss some of the effects of rural depopulation(migration from the country to the city ) and suggest some ways on which this trend could be reserved.

While lives in the rural areas were once considered to be vibrant positions in terms of a vast majority of traditionally cultural activities, in contemporary time is the increasingly massive influx of citizens relocating from those remote corners of the country to the municipal places. In my essay, I would analyse certain impacts of this trend with regards to social problems and environmental degradation, following corresponding solutions to such urgent matter.

As for the principal influences stemming from uncontrolled migration, I would contend that both society and environment of the two most obvious subsequences have constituted disturbances among the public. Due to inevitably rural depopulation, similar to urban population explosion, series of municipal dwellers are prone to the state of unemployment resulting from the shortage of job vacancies. Another point of social problems set an example by Chinese inhabitants is the fact that contrary to the affluent living standard of cities, those who determine to settle in their hometown are frequently suffering from the huge inequality concerning wages and old-age pensions compared to townspeople, which contributes to the class disparity. What is more, as a result of the urbanisation and industry revolution, the tide of immigrants is leading to the repeated depletion of pure breathing air and water, giving a rise to environmental degradation.

With a view to addressing this matter, I recommend that attainable modifications must be taken mainly by the local government and authorities. The priority of all solutions is to provide financial incentives for domestic and international companies or businesses to invest by far more into the rural areas. Thus, a considerable variety of citizens will be appealed by the sustainable occupations resulting in affording their lives. Meanwhile, what following step should be enforced is imposing further taxes on urban services and space occupation, combined with the promotion and salary increase in the rural workplace. In addition, employees need to be offered health insurance or pension scheme for free charges as Vietnamese authority did for the sake of countryside settlement. I am convinced that with the available supply of essential services and investigation, many inhabitants will definitely take preference for settling in their hometown.

To conclude, I restate that such uncontrolled flood of immigrants leading to the municipal overpopulation has to be stemmed for the sake of class disparity and our ecosystem. Regardless of such insurmountable matter, I affirm that to certain extent through the government's concerted efforts and responsibilities is the most sufficient solution to the problem.