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Posts by Jasmine855
Name: Heng Zhang Min
Joined: Mar 8, 2017
Last Post: Jun 14, 2017
Threads: 3
Posts: 11  
Likes: 5
From: Singapore
School: Nanyang JC

Displayed posts: 14
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Jasmine855   
Jun 14, 2017
Undergraduate / Giving back to society and making a difference. Personal statement for university scholarship! [5]

Personal Statement (Describe an outstanding achievement or highlight something you are passionate about):

human intelligence advantage



I am passionate about giving back to society and making a difference. One of my principles in life is to make positive impacts in this world in my lifetime. I was inspired by an article about how life is like a candle that will ultimately burn to ashes, but the only difference between the candles is the legacy one leaves behind. Thus, I set my mind to live my life meaningfully by helping people whenever I can.

In Junior College, joining the Red-Cross-Humanitarian-Network has exposed me to many opportunities for volunteer and community work. I've volunteered as a first-aider in various school events and external events like First-Aider-On-Wheels. We were also involved in community work like visiting the elderly home.

Since then, I could better appreciate how helping others could be so enjoyable, as I realised that I also have the power to make a change. The fact that people can benefit from my help is not the only reason why I like volunteering. Helping those in need also serves as a reminder for myself to live with gratitude, which is important as it enables us to be optimistic and feel contented with life. Moreover, I believe that giving and receiving is an invisible cycle. As long as I have the ability, I wish be the one starting a cycle of kindness, helping many others along this cycle. Hence, knowing that helping people and giving back to the society is beneficial to both myself and others, it is something that I am very passionate about.

In addition, I am passionate about lifelong learning. I could identify closely with this quote by Michel Legrand, "The more I live, the more I learn. The more I learn, the more I realize, the less I know." Going through the school years, I realised that there are a lot of things that I didn't know beforehand and knowledge has no boundaries. With a rigid syllabus to follow and important examinations at stake, we, students, tend to forget about the presence of this huge sea of knowledge that is constantly expanding. However, we can actually find joy in exploring this knowledge. Personally, I enjoy learning beyond textbooks, so I'd research on certain topics online after classes. Although I am a science major, it's always interesting to learn more about this world, regardless of the branch of knowledge.

Besides, I think we are at an advantage compared to animals. With human intelligence, we have the cognitive abilities to learn, form concepts, and apply logic. So, it's a privilege to be able to understand the world better than animals, and I hope to make good use of this privilege. My goal in lifelong learning does not only apply to academic knowledge, but also other things, such as hobbies and skills. I find that as we pick up new skills, what we are learning is not just the skill itself, but we can also learn other values from it. For instance, when I learned how to play netball with my classmates, I understood that we need to cooperate as a team and support each other to play the game well.
Jasmine855   
Mar 13, 2017
Undergraduate / It started with an asthma attack. Personal statement for medicine course. [8]

@Holt Thanks for your suggestion. I tried to edit my anecdote, is it okay? >< I am not really good and dramatic description/flower language

It was about 12AM at home when my mum noticed my breathlessness and she sent me to the hospital immediately. Lying on bed gasping for air, feeling exhausted and fearful, a doctor and nurses dashed towards me and instantly, I was given 10 puffs from an inhaler to help me breathe. That was my second severe asthma attack as a child. Since then, my doctor conscientiously devised an action plan for me to prevent reoccurrence of such attacks and ensured I stick to it every check-up. Thanks to him, my condition is now under control without using long-term medications. Many other healthcare workers have also assisted me on this long journey to full recovery. Hoping to make a positive impact on people's life like them, I was inspired to become a part of the healthcare team when I grow up.
Jasmine855   
Mar 10, 2017
Undergraduate / It started with an asthma attack. Personal statement for medicine course. [8]

@Holt
Thanks for your feedback. But the asthma attack is the most serious condition i've ever had as it could have taken my life, and I have no choice that it doesn't seem impressive... I have made some changes to include a part on how i've overcome the illness, would that be fine?

Regarding medical specialty,I think it's too early to choose now as I have limited knowledge about each specialty, compared to the doctor who might be reading my statement...Please take a look at my improvised version, thanks a lot~

It was about 12AM midnight when I was lying on the bed gasping for air, feeling exhausted, helpless and fearful.
A doctor and nurses came rushing towards my bed and in an instant, I was given 10 puffs from an inhaler to help me breathe. That was my second severe asthma attack as a child. Since then, my doctor conscientiously devised an action plan for me to prevent reoccurrence of such attacks and ensured I stick to it during every check-up. Thanks to him, my condition is now under control without the use of long-term medications. Many other healthcare workers have also assisted me on this long journey to full recovery. Hoping to make a positive impact on people's life like them, I was inspired to become a part of the healthcare team when I grow up.

In secondary school, I started taking a deep interest in science and was particularly intrigued by the workings of human body systems. A trip to the National Kidney Foundation centre had exposed me to the hardships of kidney patients who depend their lives on dialysis. Then, the importance of each and every organ to human health struck me and my interest in pursuing healthcare was reaffirmed. Particularly, I wanted to pursue medicine as a calling because through my own experience, I understood at first-hand that one cannot really do much without a healthy body.

Being curious in the function of various first aid equipment, I was prompted to join Red-Cross Humanitarian-Network (RCHN) as a CCA in junior college. Joining RCHN has not only allowed me to acquire basic first aid skills, but also given me huge gratification from treating casualties. To enhance my first aid skills, I participated in the national First-Aid-Championships-2016 with my teammates. This competition has given me insights into the value of teamwork, resource allocation and quick decision-making during emergencies. My most heart-warming volunteering experience is during the First-Aider-on-Wheels sessions at East-Coast-Park. There, I was able to work with other compassionate volunteers and I personally felt the joy of giving when casualties expressed gratitude for my help. Gradually, I have developed a strong desire to help those in need. This desire, coupled with my enthusiasm in better understanding the mechanism of human body systems, have shaped my aspiration of becoming a doctor, who can do more than just basic first aid for people. As a RCHN member, I was able to develop my communication and cooperative skills, which I believe are the elements that make a good doctor.

Having a taste of how fulfilling it is feeling appreciated by others, I'm motivated to gain further knowledge about the human body and apply it to serve humanity. I believe that I can persevere in the arduous journey of becoming a doctor by using people's gratitude as my source of motivation. I hope that by studying medicine in NUS, I can look forward to a career that fulfils my goal of life-long learning and contributing towards better human health.
Jasmine855   
Mar 10, 2017
Scholarship / I intended to be Lecturer but my ambition is to conduct researches - KGSP program application essay [6]

I come from aPakistani family of lower middle class background, From the very beginning of my life a young age...
My father is a simple farmer but ...
Being a farmer- he wishes to be a father ...
... be successful in life in an very difficult unfavorable environment.
... they enrolled me withinto a High school (...) Secondary school,despite of the severeheavyfinancial constraints ...

I worked hard to carry on continue my studies and support myself from that young age.
... with good results then ,my dream grew higherbigger

Now I am astudent of BS Zoology ...
I have expected that my degree will and my studies will be complete by May,2017. During my BS, I have been worked in a private academy for 2 years. But, Now I am paying my fill attention on my study. ---.> I'm making plans for my further studies.

It already created its position at the upper level in the world South Korea has ...
I impressed with his behaviour and their overall culture. So ,Iwish to study in Korea too

... to conduct research, later, in the field ... Sciencesin future. I'd like to contribute to the welfare of humanity ...
Perhaps in the future I might have myselfI envision myself contributing in a well known university ,conducting research and obtaining some degree of influence over actual challengeshelping the society overcome its challenges -that is, becoming a problem solver myself in the near future.
Jasmine855   
Mar 10, 2017
Scholarship / As a cutting edge field in the 21st century biotechnology is in the spotlight today. KGSP STUDY PLAN [7]

As a cutting edge field in the 21st ...
In this 21st century,the cutting edge biotechnology has been in the spotlight as it has been used to improve the quality of our lives in almost every aspect from health, industry, environment andto agriculture .

... with basic skills techniques in biotechnology research ,particularly genetic...

Also,i will use my expertise ...

... genetic manipulation is termed as genetic engineering.

... as control of diseaseresistanceand environmental effect, thisoffers new opportunities for solving ...
However the depth of my interest in ...

In particular I'm fascinated by genetic ...

..., diseaseresistance and yield of a variety of crops for betteroutcomes

The depth of my passion towards (...) everything I do. therefore after completing my program, I plan (...) and Africa at large which will only happen through public service which I will make myself available to it. commit myself to.
Jasmine855   
Mar 9, 2017
Undergraduate / It started with an asthma attack. Personal statement for medicine course. [8]

Please give me some advice on areas of improvement. THANKS IN ADVANCE <3

vulnerable human body



It was about 12AM midnight when I was lying on the bed gasping for air, feeling exhausted, helpless and fearful.
I had an asthma attack. A doctor and nurses came rushing towards my bed and in an instant, I was given 10 puffs from an inhaler to help me breathe more easily. Until now, I still deeply appreciate and respect those who had cared for me during my hospitalisation 13 years ago. Due to my health condition, the number of healthcare workers who have rendered help to me is innumerable. Hence, I'm inspired to pass on their kindness by serving as part of the healthcare team. Furthermore, understanding at first-hand about how one cannot really do much with an unhealthy body has driven me to pursue medicine.

My interest in science started in secondary school and I was particularly intrigued by the workings of human body systems. A trip to the National Kidney Foundation centre gave me the opportunity to witness the hardships of kidney patients as they need to depend their lives on dialysis. That is when the importance of each and every organ to human health has struck me and improving human health became a goal of mine.

Being curious in the function of various first aid equipment, I was prompted to join Red Cross Humanitarian Network (RCHN) as a CCA in junior college. Joining RCHN has not only allowed me to acquire basic first aid skills, but also given me huge gratification from treating casualties. To enhance my first aid skills, I participated in the national First Aid Championships 2016 with my CCA teammates. This competition has provided me with valuable insights into the value of teamwork, resource allocation and quick decision-making in any emergencies.

My most heart-warming volunteering experience is during the First Aider on Wheels sessions at East Coast Park. There, I was able to work with other compassionate volunteers and I personally felt the joy of giving when casualties expressed gratitude for my help. Gradually, I have developed a strong desire to help those in need. This desire, coupled with my enthusiasm in better understanding the mechanism of human body systems, have shaped my aspiration of becoming a doctor, in order to do more than just basic first aid for people. As a RCHN member, I was able to develop my communication and cooperative skills, which I believe are the elements that make a good doctor.

Having a taste of how fulfilling it is feeling appreciated by others, I'm motivated to gain further knowledge about the human body and apply it to serve humanity. I also believe that I can persevere in the arduous journey of becoming a doctor using people's gratitude as my source of motivation and satisfaction. I hope that by studying medicine in ___, I can realise my dream of having a fulfilling career and contributing towards better human health as a doctor. I'm prepared to shoulder the responsibility as I gain the power to heal.
Jasmine855   
Mar 9, 2017
Scholarship / KGSP2017 - Letter of self-introduction - My look towards the future [3]

I came from a small family withlimited financial resources that in exchange for [...], the motherland and their own families.

^This whole sentence is too long and I don't get your point, it's too confusing. try to break it up?

... KGSP because it provides a great opportunity (...) the best knowledge of The best form and be able to ...

... of the best educations in the world to ...
Jasmine855   
Mar 9, 2017
Scholarship / I got caught in the everyday routine. KGSP: Statement of purpose <goal of study> [5]

... a university and house, and repeating of these every day.

So then ,I decided to (...) weekends "to be refreshed"to find my true compass in life.
... my childhood friend and after that we both camewhich allowed us (...) and develop ourselves together.
... started buying up livestockand then selling it ...
Although it was not as smooth as we want as We struggled with ...

... issues and make good friends with manystudents and despite (...) a way out of the situation.
... with crucial qualities ofa leader -(...) problems and can think out-of-box.
Jasmine855   
Mar 9, 2017
Writing Feedback / Essay - Intercultural Communication. Western culture always tends to be open comparing with Eastern [4]

At the beginning of my college life, I have been received an invitation ...
... Chinese students who have also attended it.
... students are playing on their mobile phones orhaving conversation with (...) same country as them. Theydid not try to (...) locals and couldn't really enjoy the party.

For those students who are from foreign countries, (...) need to adapt to a new life.
... new environment and wasalways alone. I was scared ofcommunicating with others in the class,...
So, this caused me I found it difficult to (...) I alwayskept quiet.
When I was in a similar exotic ...
I realized thatas long as you are (...), even though communicating with them will make you nervous.
Jasmine855   
Mar 8, 2017
Scholarship / Living in a more sustainable environment - KGSP scholarship letter of self introduction. [3]

... care of my younger siblings

From a young age my parents have instilled (...) to get me and my siblingsthe best of education.

As my father used to tell me to (...) to have the best out of education.

^this makes no sense
This is what i interpreted: Aside from acquiring marketable skills in my chosen field, I also try to develop other skills that would allow me to have greater power in improving the world such as...(write your own)

... in organic (green) agriculture whereI learned many environmental values.
... instead of inorganic fertilizers, and also the planting of ...

Sentence too long:
My environmental valueswere deepenedduring my final year in the university after taking ...

... and the preservation of it,and I have alsodeveloped an interest in ...
This is because I believe with the study of ...
Jasmine855   
Mar 8, 2017
Undergraduate / Essay for NTU SCHOLARSHIP - A value that I hold strongly to. [3]

QN: Describe, in less than 300 words, the values and beliefs you hold strongly to. Please provide examples of how you have demonstrated these in your actions.

dedication and devotion in whatever I do



A value that I hold strongly to is dedication. I think it is imperative to be devoted in whatever I do once I have made up my mind to do it. If not, I would not even start doing it and later give up halfway. Thus, I always give careful consideration before embarking on any huge endeavours, ensuring that I would remain dedicated while doing it. When I was in secondary one, I was recommended to take Higher Chinese language (HCL) by my teacher. Knowing that extra effort must be put in to tackle the language at a higher difficulty level, I decided to take it after promising myself that I'll do my best, although I could choose to drop it if I do not do well. During the start of secondary two, I was disheartened due to my relatively low marks for HCL as compared to what I usually get for normal Chinese. Thereafter, I tried improving my marks by doing extra readings and borrowing notes for what I've missed out for HCL in secondary one. Ultimately, I'm contented that my dedication has allowed me to achieve the Best in HCL award that year.

In addition, integrity and justice are also values that I hold dear to. They were the motivation to what I did during a test in secondary two. It was a test in home economics for CA1, where I've witnessed two of my classmates cheating by hiding the textbook under their desks. Although it was a small test, I was angered by their dishonesty and injustice they did to others who studied hard for the test. Thus, I mustered up my courage to inform my teacher of their wrongdoings. I hope that they learnt their lesson regarding the importance of integrity and justice through this incident.
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