Writing Feedback / Formal "pen and paper" examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement [3]

In the introduction , you express no view from anyone. ''Everyone knows that most of examinations for certificates or tests in school are all done by pen and papers.'' This sentence is sth everyone know

And the second sentence, I think it's not easy to understand and I don't know what you mean. Hmmm I think it's in some way not related to the topic

Writing Feedback / [IELTS writing task 2] Advantages and disadvantages of media [3]

I think in the conclusion, you should write sth like "It seems to me that TV...."

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - RADIO AND TV AUDIENCES [4]

The line graph (...) compares the trend of both -> you shouldn't write like this. It can be " the chart compares and contrasts data on the trend of radio and television audiences in UK"

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Graph of employment rates in three sectors of UK economy [8]

I think with this line graph, you should only mention the first and the last year and also special
years and you also need to make comparisons among three sectors.

Student Talk / Hi everyone! Welcome at EssayForum thread. [413]

Hello, Tetanya!
Nice to meet you on EF. We can help each other improve our English !! <3

Writing Feedback / Do the drawbacks of video games (unhealthy lifestyle, distraction from study) outweigh the benefits? [5]

Well, you can add the information that video games make children spend less time not only for their homework but also their extracurricular activities -> grades drop and lack of soft skills or even suffer from obesity

If you want to talk about video games's benefits, you should talk about them before the benefits.

Writing Feedback / Should Grades Define Your Intelligence? [3]

Well, I think there are some problems with these sentences
+Growing up everybody is taught that the number one thing to be successful in life is the university you go to and how well you do

+I know from a personal experience I was stressing over those exams like no other. ( I think ''like no other" means ''very special'')

Writing Feedback / [Task 1] The changing rates of crime in Newport city over nine years [7]

I think you should have one paragraph for introduction and one for the overview!

Writing Feedback / The question is whether the motherhood is essential in raising children. IELTS Writing task 2 [4]

I suggest that we can use " take care of domestic duties'' in stead of " take care of housework''
and I think it must be "have effects on " not "take effect"