Writing Feedback / Free online download. Positive or negative? [3]

Good day, please write your comments, corrections, and suggestions for my essay. Tips to get a 7.5 score would help.
If you could also rate my essay below in terms of TA,CC,LR,G. Thank you.

IELTS GT 04212018 INDIA
Nowadays, many movies and music are free to download online. Is it a negative or positive development?

movies and music for free?

In the recent years, films and songs have been downloadable in the internet without charge. In my perspective, this action is gearing towards a negative development in the society. This essay will highlight the drawbacks of free online downloads of music and movies.

One reason is that downloading these files online for free is a form of piracy. Movie actors, singers, production staffs and crews are not earning from these free downloads. Furthermore, this act is not helping the entertainment industry to grow or continue in the future. This could result into less movies and music being produced because the income does not surpass the production cost. for example, a lot of trilogy movies have failed to continue because it has been pirated online and the gross income could not budget the future movies.

Another reason why it is a negative development is that a lot of these free files are not safe to download. In other words, these films and songs contains virus and malwares that could harm the security of the platform where it is being downloaded. These virus and malwares are usually made for identity theft of the person downloading. As a consequence, personal information or credit card numbers and passwords could be stolen without the owner knowing. For instance, there was one person in the UK who was stolen money on his bank account and police officers investigated it to be a case of identity theft online from a movie downloading site that he uses.

To conclude, these free movies and music poses more harm than entertainment in our society. Free files online could weaken the entertainment industry and could be a way for hackers to steal a person's identity.

Writing Feedback / A big chunk of people's earnings goes to purchasing material things [5]

IELTS Task 2 1/20/2018 (USA)

Overspending on items

Task:
In many countries, as people are earning more these days they are also spending money in buying more and more items. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Response:

Studies have shown that as profit of citizens from different country increases, a big chunk of their earnings goes to purchasing material things. Personally, I believe that this is a forward to a negative growth of humans today. This article will tackle the different drawbacks of overspending money for material items.

One negative effect of this situation is the transformation of people to becoming materialistic. In other words, their character changes towards prioritizing happiness through material things. Furthermore, these people put too much value on money because it gives them the immediate happiness they are longing for. As a result, there is an unending desire of having more than what is already owned. For instance, mobile companies have been upgrading phones every year and a lot of people feel the need of being in the trend of the latest gadgets.

Another drawback is that humans set aside saving money for their future needs. People put too much of their money on other things and does not prioritize their future by saving money. This could effect when they would need emergency funds if future incidents happens. For example, when someone in their family gets sick they cannot help them because they have no savings on their account. This could mean another problem adding to the current endeavor that they are facing.

To conclude, the usage of money on products gives more negative effect than the benefit that one could get. They could have problems with needing money when emergency rises and they could have a materialistic character which is not helpful. These reasons outweigh the benefits of using profit for buying products.

Thank you for reading and writing your feedbacks.

Writing Feedback / In recent society, more and more people are trying to live by their own [3]

Living Independently

IELTS General Training Task 2

Good day, I am taking an IELTS exam this coming May. Could someone read and tell me what do you think about the essay.

Thank you in advance.

Task:

In recent society, more and more people are trying to live by their own. Is this a positive or negative trend? What is your opinion and share your personal experiences.

Response:

Nowadays, there has been an increasing population of people who would want to live independently. In my opinion, this action has its benefits and drawbacks.

One positive effect of living alone is the independence a person attains. It has been prevalent with people in the current generation the urge to live alone. It gives them the sense of freedom to do whatever they would like to do without having any rules from their parents. Furthermore, independent living takes away the worries of dealing with other people because you only have to deal with yourself. Take young professionals for instance, they would prefer to work at a different location away from their home. It makes them more mature and able to handle life's difficulties on their own. Since hardships dealt alone can lead to a stronger character, this way of living could be beneficial.

On the other hand, certain drawbacks could also effect on this way of living. Living alone and trying to separate with the family could actually weaken family ties. With this, more time is spent with friends which could sometimes lead into being influenced negatively. Because there would be no parents to correct the actions, morality could be tarnished. Another downside of living alone is having no one to rely on if problem arises. For example, when someone is having money problems. Because the person wants to prove his independence, he would solve the problem alone and failures could happen. As human beings, it is innate to find company with other people and this could be a problem when living alone.

To sum up, living independently has its pros and cons. It could lead to more freedom and less worries dealing with other people. It could also lead to weak ties with the family and having to deal with problems independently.