Writing Feedback / marriages should be arranged by the parents or not? [6]

hello, i am preparing for ielts test, and i am really worried about my writing. could u help me to point out my mistakes as detail as possible,

thanks so much

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents. But, in other cases, people choose their own partners. Discuss and give your own opinions.
The idea that marriages should be arranged by the parents or other members in the family is acceptable in some parts of the world; however, it is completely out of the question for others. It is totally depends on the cultural expectation of the places where people live.

In so-called western countries, it is really unusual for marriages to be arranged by the parents. Most young people will not welcome the idea that their partners should be chose by their parents or by any one else, and they think that the right to choose their partners in the future is one of the most fundamental rights they should have. Even though sometimes they acknowledge that they make bad decisions.

However, in some other cases, it is quite common when marriages are arranged by the parents regardless whether or their children love the person they choose for them. In their eyes, their children are always immature even though they are ready adults. They think that making decision about marriage is the most important one in the life; therefore, they should help their offspring to make a conscious one to gain a happy family in the future. Take my country for an example; some parents arrange their children' lives in the way they like. Because, their own marriages were also arranged their parents, and they have a happy family; consequently, they believe that their offspring will have a happy family when they arrange marriage.

Personally, I strongly believe that marriages will be more likely to be happy if there are both the love between young people and the agreement of the parents for it. We cannot deny that parents who have a plenty of live experience and they can appreciate someone about the characteristics is better than the young can. Nevertheless, it is really hard to achieve a happy marriage without love; it will be better if the partners fall in love each other.

Writing Feedback / people should try to earn money as much as possible?? [5]

i am preparing for ielts test. my writing is bad.please check for me about grammar, sentence sructures as well as logic. thanks so much

Money can not buy happiness' it is often claimed. But with money you can buy most of thing that are necessary for happiness: good food, accommodation etc. No wonder that most people want to make as much money as possible. Do you agree or disagree.

The question whether or not money can buy every things is controversial. Obviously, in modern society, people are less like to have a good life without money; because, to buy any things for the daily basis, people need to have money. However, I strongly believe that money is not all things what people need; there are many things that is more important than money such as happiness, friend and family relation ship.

In our daily life, there are a range of things that people cannot use money to acquire. Taking happiness for an example; it is often believed that money cannot buy happiness. It is understandable because happiness is some invisible thing that people cannot see or touch, and people can only feel it in their minds. Furthermore, different people keep different thinking about happiness: some link it to materials, while others link to intangible things. In fact, there is a mass of factors forming happiness such as relation ship with friends, colleges or family members which is not purchased with money, not only materials

Moreover, there are also lots of things which are really more important and justified for people to pursuit than earning money such as building good and strong relation ship with people surrounding us, keeping a clear perspective in the future. I totally think that people will feel more meaningful toward life when they have good friends, happy family and receive lots care from people living surround them rather than having lots of money.

In conclusion, people should try to make more money to meet their material demands for improve their living standard. Nevertheless, it does not mean that people should earn money regardless of what they do, the way they earn. It is much better when people know how to balance between earning money and keeping good relation ship with other people, and at that time, people will feel clearly about the true value of the life.

Writing Feedback / using computers in schools results in the rise in the illiteracy rate? [3]

i am preparing for ielts test.my writing skill is bad. could u help me point out all my mistakes. i am really happy to see my mistakes. thanks so much

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills.

Do you agree or disagree
There is no double that the computer is one of the most significant eventions in the history of humankind, and they are now applied into a range of different sections. Using computer in school to support children learn better is a popular trend in many parts of the world. However, whether or not this trend is good for learners is open for debate.

Obviously, computers contain many advances based on the development of high technology which can help people learn faster and more effectively. In the past, learners can gain information and knowledge from books and their teachers; nevertheless, with computers, students are able to get what they need from not only their teachers, friends or books, but also the internet which is often considered the biggest information resources. Furthermore, students may use software program in existence in order to studying more easily.

However, some people claim that using computer in children school results in the increase in the illiteracy rates in many countries, especially in the developed ones. People have to admit that the number of children who cannot read or write in some corners of the world is raising, and the popularity of the media should take responsibility for this problem. In the past, children use to read books for leisure in their spare time, which helped them improve ability to read and write, but it is very different nowadays. Children can what TV or play video in their free time without literacy. Instead of reading to understand stories, now children still can do it without literacy, beacause all things have already read or acted out for them.

Furthermore, the curriculum at school is also a factor which contributes to the rise in the illiteracy rates of children. In some schools, many courses which support for students basic reading and writing skills have been removed, thus it leads the lack of basic skill teaching for them and results in this rise.

In a word, removing computers out of schools and coming back to the basic teaching style is not a good option. It is much better when there are some courses training for children computer basic skills, and at that time, children can use computer in a positive way. In addition, schools should have more basic courses to improve ability to read and write of learners.

Writing Feedback / governments should try to promote alternative energy resources? [NEW]

i am preparing for ielts, however, my writing skill is not good.could u check this essay for my mistakes. i will be really pleased to see my mistakes pointed out by you.

thanks so much

Governments should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Recently, scientists, politicians as well as public media means have announced that if people continue to use energy in the way they are doing, in the short time, humankind will have to confront with lack of energy resources. Therefore, many people around the world have urged governments to promote in order to create and find new sources of energy. The question whether or not governments should try to carry out this project is controversial.

Obviously, with alternative resources such as wind energy, sunlight energy or tomb energy, people can reduce demand for fossil energy the limited resources like gas, coal. It is predicted that in the future, there will be a lack of energy due to increase in the global population and industries. However, the need of humankind for energy can be meet when alternative resources which are considered to be unlimited are created.

However, people can face to many problems during the process of alternative resource of energy. Taking process of recycling rubbish for an example. Many people believe that with this process, people can not just reduce the amount of waste given off caused of land pollution, water source under surface of the earth, but also make new energy source for people's demand. Nevertheless, in fact, instead of polluting the land, when people burn rubbish, smoke made by this process leads to polluted air environment. So, with this solution, we cannot reduced the level of pollution. Even atom energy which is consider the most effective and powerful solution can result in some issues. When governments develop this kind of energy, they have to spend a large amount of money, high technology, and it seems impossible in many developing and poor countries. It will be not effective if governments invest finance in this field, meanwhile other basic need of their residents such as demand for foods, clothes, medicine, accommodation cannot be meet.

In a word, I agree that governments should manage to find new energy so that meet the rise in humankind's energy demands. However, it does not mean that they should spend money on it as much as possible. All things governments try to do are in order to improve living standard for citizens in their countries, but they will be meaningless if basic demand of people cannot be meet. Therefore, it is more important that governments should balance their budge between new sources of energy and basic demand of people.

Writing Feedback / tobacco adverts should be banned? [13]

i am preparing for ielts, i am really worried about my writing. please help me to check my mistakes.
and your comments on whole, thanks so much
In a recent survey conducted in this country, it was found that up to 20% of twelve year-olds in some schools were showing early signs of nicotine addiction.

In the eighteen to twenty year age bracket the percentage was as high as 70%. A large contributing factor to this high level of addiction is attributed to the uncensored TV advertising of cigarettes.

For this reason all cigarette advertising should be banned.

Recently, public media professionals have warned about the danger of smoking cigarettes, and they have also showed a plenty of scientific evidences to clarify this bad habit on people's health. However, in some group of people, the numbers of addicted people has been rising rapidly. Therefore, many people are in favor of an opinion that all advertisements of tobacco companies should be totally banned, and this widespread opinion should be acknowledged.

Obviously, advertising on TV or other media means now is the most powerful means of all businesses, and tobacco companies are not an exception. Through using this form of advertisement, those companies can gain giant profits via the rise in the sales. In addition, the State can collect more money for national budget by income taxes.

However, hundreds of thousand people die every year because of smoking cigarettes, and with this negative effect on humankind, I definitely agree that all adverts of tobacco companies should not be allowed on all public media means. Scientists have claimed that smoking can lead to dealy diseases such as cancer, heart disease and other diseases related to cardiovascular and respiratory problems. Most of those diseases are uncured or costly to cure. In addition, smoking can not only damage health of smokers, but also non-smokers. Many scientific research indicated that passive smokers can be affected by smoke stream outside which can lead to severe problems.

To sump up, banning all tobacco companies from advertising on public media is an effective solution to this problem. However, educating the young is considered more effective way. Therefore, it is much better when all schools take courses showing the danger of smoking to their curriculum.

Writing Feedback / the trend:throw away old one instead of repairing. causes and effects? [6]

i am preparing for ielts, however, i am really worried about my writing skill. could u help me point out all my mistakes. i am really happy to see my own mistakes. thanks so much

People nowadays throw away things when they are broken rather than repair or recycle them as they did in the past.
People nowadays prefer buying now products to repairing old or broken one. Some people consider that this trend is a signal of the modern life, and it is indispensable. Certainly, this results in the social division of labor and the improvement in living standard of humankind.

There is no doubt that our quality of life has been improving day by day; therefore it is easily understandable why people in many part of the world are used to throwing old or broken goods away instead of repairing as they used to in the past. When living standard is upgraded, it also means that incomes are higher and people can afford more goods they like.

Furthermore, the indivision in social labor also contribute to this trend. In the past, most people in community could do a lots things to support their own lives such as: cultivating food, making clothes. However, in modern societies, the specialization is a widespread trend, thus most people are able to do some certain things. And as a result, sometimes, they cannot repair broken goods by themselves. This is a main reason why people often take new products to replace broken one. In fact, even though people can have someone repaired for them, indeed, but they still decide to purchase others because it is often costly for repairing or the quality of repaired products is low.

I believe that this trend is a common phenomena in the 21 century; however, it also can cause some problems. When people like new goods than old or repaired one, it means that the life cycle of products is reduced. The more new goods is demanded, the more natural resources people need to consumed. At that time, the big problem shortage of energy resources will become more severe. In addition, the a mount of rubbish given off will increase, and it makes our planet become more polluted.

In conclusion, this trend at the moment can be a positive signal showing that people have a better life. However, in the future, it will also be a potential thread to humankind's life.