Writing Feedback / It is often argued that brutality in media stimulates brutality in the real life. My opinion. IELTS2 [3]

Violence in media promote violence in society. Agree or disagree?

Hi, everybody, I'm back :)
The question is above so I don't need to write it down hehe xD
My essay:
It is often argued that brutality in media stimulates brutality in real life. While I agree with this opinion, I still believe that violence surge based on many more aspects.

On the one hand, it is true that violence comes from the media. Many movies and games include some action scenes which attracts myriads of people, especially children. They will try to copy what they have seen in the movie. As a consequence, some will get hurt and the winner in the fight will continue to rampage. Secondly, there are also harmful channels, for instance, "Kha Banh", this individual try to spread a message that children should fight whenever they feel they like. Because of his cool and stupidly funny character of him, his message went viral which creates many spoiled children right now in Vietnam. (@@)

However, I strongly believe that violence in life is not easily promoted through media. It is obvious that many adults now are all knowledged which they should know whether it is right or wrong. In other words, they already have realized that violence is terrible and only used when needed. As a result, parents should teach children about violence until they are enlightened. In addition, there are helpful violent scenes in movies that teach children about when they should use force. For instance, when offsprings are bullied, they will know that they have to use violence in order to avoid pain and scratches.

In conclusion, it is right that violence in media encourages violence in life, but it also based on many facets. Additionally, there are some brutal scenes in movies that teach children about when to use force.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Young people should be leader or the old ones? [2]

age of a good leader

The question: some people say that young people should be the leader, others say the old is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

MY ESSAY:
Commonly, the elder is usually the leader, director, and manager of everything. However, there are some people think that the young are better at controlling. This passage will discuss both perspectives and give my commentary.

First of all, it is beneficial when permitting the young to become the president. Because of their strength, dynamic, and supreme energy, they can work longer than the old ones, which means they can contribute more to the country. Secondly, they have positive, creative, new modern thinking that may develop the country. For instance, instead of preventing the flood by dikes and damps like humans usually do, the young will preclude that by digging a big hole on the ground which can stop the flood as well as saving some money. This is already applied by Japan's government and it worked effectively.

On the other hand, allowing senior people to lead the country also gives some advantages. The old always have more experiences than the young. In other words, they can do work that nobody can not. Taking Donald Trump, the president of the USA as an example. This gentleman can predict the future so precisely that avoid so many disasters such as the economy's fall, incoming war and more all because of his experiences . Secondly, the old have a more practical thinking that may enhance the country better than the idealistic thinking of the young. Donald Trump has built a wall against Mexico in order to take care of his country and avoid criminals in Mexico too while the young may let them in because of pity which can cause consequences in the future.

Both views all have strong points, but personally, I think it is not important to choose the leader through age. It is more essential to choose the leader through their thinking and behavior. Even though that the old have better thinking because of their experiences, that better thinking actually can make a downward trend. Due to being too intelligent, people become more greedy and dictatorial and the results is clear. Thus, there is another factor that decides a leader, moral.

In conclusion, both perspectives has its pros and cons, but in my view, i think to become a leader, they must have a practical thinking, righteous actions and good moral.

( Somebody please help me how to reduce the length of this essay, i think this passage is too long and it may downgrade my points :V, is that so then help me because whenever i meet this kind of question, i always make it long even though i try to make it short and clear :V. It will be helpful if u help me thank you very much )

Speeches / My almost whole future in a nutshell :) [2]

I will be so grateful if somebody gives me advice or anything that helps me :).

this pc needs an upgrade

My essay:
Just open my eyes, and the first thing I see was a computer showing my heartbeat :). That's right I was born :D. And seeing the thing that keeps going up and down makes me wonder what is that. And I also think that's why I have a huge passion for the computer (i think...). Then I grew up, and maybe just like other kids, I love playing games :D. But the love that's growing so much, makes me wonder it's an addiction or passion... Any other kinds of entertainment like TV, films, manga, blah blah seems only fun to me, but games, give me a feeling that I can't explain. Every tough round I win always gives me satisfaction that none of the entertainments can bring. However, the thought of playing games can make money seems stupid to me, due to education that I must find a job. When I was 12, I discovered Pewdiepie, a guy who is popular because of playing games on Youtube. That's where my last thought becomes stronger, then I showed it to my mom, and she said: "stf*! u know nothing about this, this is too hard for u, be like everyone else, son! Find a job then u can do whatever u can." Then she told that to my dad, my dad got angry and forbid me of playing games for 1 week and he thinks that because of playing too many games give me a stupid thought like that... And days keep going on, nothing happened, just go to school, play, eat, sleep, do workouts blah blah blah until the age of 15, if course it's not puberty because that would be too late :))). I stopped playing games a little bit, and thinking every single night that" If I keep playing games like this, I don't think I can achieve my dream, even if I actually good at gaming stuff, but omg in the world, there are so many pros that I think they are on another level so above me, maybe I shouldn't be a gamer to make a living, I SHOULD BE A YOUTUBER :V?HMMMMMMMM? And boom, I try to find out what are the conditions to become a real YouTuber in the next day. And this is where the disaster comes out. To become a Youtuber, my terrible computer must become a beast first. In other words, I must have about above 50 million VND ( about 2.150 dollars ). And I was like, where the heck can I find this money? My parents don't let me go out to work :V. Because I must study IELTS in order to settle in Australia :). So because I only can stay at home, I have to try to make money with this poor condition computer... I downloaded Davinci (edit software) and start to edit. The first video that I uploaded on Facebook was quite impressive(the vid only has 25 seconds), I got above 100 views, but there only about 10 reactions though... mostly my friends, they say this is funny and tell me to make more. However, I can't do any professional vids, because of my computer, so the timeline in the app was very laggy and slow, discouraging me from editting stuff :(.

And I try persuade my dad to upgrade it. It was tough, many things happen, and I have to make a promise that I do not play too long after upgrading the computer. He bought a new CPU, nothing changed much, still the old FPS. But I can not say that the computer is still bad, I have to continue to do edit stuff with it now...Then after thinking that this computer can not be upgraded. I try to do other things instead to become a Youtuber, it's called preparations :). I must find fame, save more montages, hightlights, funny moments, learn more edit theories in order to ready for the beastly computer. And the money to upgrade, I think I persuade my parents later or persuade them permit me to go to work. And that's it :), that is my life for now, now i am 17, writting this essay for u guys to see hehe xD