Writing Feedback / Group study or self-study, which is better? [7]

Topic: Some people believe that students should study at schools are better than studying in groups. However, others argue that students study at schools are better than they study on their owns. Discuss both views and give your opinion? (300-350 words)

I'm still uncertain with the task response of this type of essay. I wonder if my essay below is done appropriately or are there any problems i still have? Please help me by explaining it clearly. Thanks a lot!

THE ADVANTAGE OF GROUP STUDY AND SELF-STUDY

There are two schools of thought when it comes to campus study methods: group study or self-study. Some people hold the opinion that group study is more beneficial for students than self-study, while others have inverse thought. Personally, I believe that each has its own advantage in particular situations. In this essay, I would like to discuss these two public points of view and account for my specific opinion.

On one hand, some people promote the idea that solo-learning allows students to study in an environment that is perfect for them, therefore, help them study more efficiently. They demonstrate that this method minimizes the distraction that can keep students from memorizing knowledge and create favorable conditions to pay complete attention to the study materials. They also argue that study alone means that students can study at their own preference. Every student has his own learning priorities, different strategies and suitable speed in acquiring knowledge. This method allows students not to be dependent on other partners and learn in the way that works best for them.

On the other hand, one group of people supports the opinion that group study helps students cover a larger amount of knowledge and learn at deeper levels. They explain that when students study together, they can learn new perspectives on topics discussed, broaden their understanding, evaluate the accuracy of their view points and correct any mistakes they might have. Moreover, verbalizing concepts and explaining materials to other team mates help to reinforce ideas and enhance their comprehension.

Although two study methods are really beneficial, I believe no method is superior to the other, instead, each is useful in specific disciplines. Self-study is more efficient to be applied to the tricky academic field of study, such as Math, Physics and Chemistry because these subject required complicated brainstorming and a large amount of time and effort spent on exercises practicing to master. Meanwhile, social subjects like Literature, History, and English whose knowledge foundation built up from social activities is most suitable with the group-study method.

In conclusion, each method has its own perks and I believe students can optimize these if they apply these methods in appropriate ways.

Writing Feedback / Public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle to prevent illness or on the medical treatment. [3]

My essay is about:
''It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree of disagree?''

Can you give me a band score for this essay? I will do the real test on 21st December, i'm still so worried about my writing skill !!

Thanks in advance!

raising people awareness for a healthy lifestyle

Some people believe that the government budget should be spent more on building a healthy lifestyle for illness prevention than the treatment for the disease from which people are suffered. Personally, I completely agree with this point of view for the following reasons.

First of all, spending money on ailment prevention is more cost-effective than that on treatment. Preventing is always easier than treating because it takes less time, effort and money. For example, one person can avoid diabetes which results from excessive digesting high-calorie foods by the simplest way - following a balanced diet. The cost of a healthy meal is obviously incomparable to the expense of a medical treatment.

Secondly, promoting a healthy lifestyle can bring long-term benefits for both the government and its residents. While a treatment can only target a specific health problem, having a healthy lifestyle can help people prevent a variety of ailments. For instance, frequent exercise not only strengthens the immune system but also reduces the risk of obesity and other related diseases.

That is not to say that government should not spend any money on illness treatment. It, of course, is the moral principle and our responsibility to cure the patient and this should be invested adequately. However, I believe that in order to get the highest result from the money spent, it is more beneficial to give priority to illness prevention.

In conclusion, I think the government can benefit more from allocating a large part of the medical fund to raising people awareness for a healthy lifestyle, rather than illness treatment.

Writing Feedback / The issue: useful or passionate subjects for study? [2]

Can you give me some feedback? How much is its rate you think?

Can you see any improvements from my first essay?

passion for learning and a free choice

My essay is about:
"Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.''

People hold different views about what type of subject should be educated at the university. While some argue that it would be better for students to be forced into subjects which will prepare them well for future, I believe that everybody should be able to study the course of his choice and this is also beneficial.

On one hand, learning useful subjects helps students become qualified employees. The advocates of this explain that these subjects provide students with the essential knowledge which is the basic foundation of their future career. For example, a banker has to learn about currency, finance, taxation and so on since he was an undergraduate student. He will not manage his work well if he lacks this knowledge. They also demonstrate a number of companies these days have asked the candidates to have at least one computer science certificate which show their expert level in using the office software. As a result, the student equipped with these technology skills will be more competitive in the job market.

On the other hand, pursuing passionate areas of study is the right of the student and can benefit them in unpredictable ways. Supporters of this argue that forcing students to learn what they do not want and preventing them from their interested subjects is trespassing the human right of liberty. In my opinion, learning with no interest is boring, stressful and a waste of time regardless of how useful that subject can be. Moreover, no one can assure whether one subject is useful or not. For instance, a medical learner will appreciate the time he spends on studying economics, marketing, business and so on as it has practically supported him on setting up his own medical company. Youngsters have become more and more active, desire to explore new challenges, acquire new skills which will turn them into multitasking individuals. This advantage may impress the headhunters or be useful for them to start their own business.

In conclusion, it seems to me that however useful a subject can be, passion for learning is the most important and student should be free to choose their preferred areas of study.

Writing Feedback / Whether physical exercise should be a part of every school day or students should focus on study [3]

efficiency of student's learning and exercises

Hi, my essay is about : "Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Others say that pupils should spend whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Give reasons to support your choice." Can you give me some feedback? Thanks!

These days, some schools have included physical exercise as a part of educational curriculum. Whether they should turn it into a daily compulsory activity or neglect it, only concentrate on academic learning is a debatable issue. My view is that regular exercise is significantly beneficial to the pupils for the following reasons.

First of all, frequent exercise optimize the quality of learning, which means helping students study more efficiently. Because stress and fatigue which usually stem from overload learning hours spent on the classes will be dispelled immediately when students are involved in bodily movement during the break time. Therefore, with refreshed mind and body, they have better preparation, more ready for the next lessons. A recent research of Learning Method Institute has reported that students who have physical exercise between two 45-minute lessons study 30 percent more efficiently than those who do not.

Moreover, it is obvious that physical exercise contributes positively to the student's overall health. Because sport activities help to maintain physical fitness, boost the immune system, improve mental health, strengthen the individual endurance and so on, students with daily exercise show more active, energetic and healthier than others. Acknowledging these benefits, instead of imposing long - day academic study on pupils, schools should provide them with more opportunities to engaging in sport movements.

That is not to say that academic knowledge is not important at all. It, of course, is a basic, required part of every learner's knowledge and plays a vital role in individual life and future. However, intensive learning this type of knowledge without any break points for relaxing is redundant and may be counter-productive.

In conclusion, daily exercise deserves to receive encouragement because of all advantages it has. Meanwhile, we should not under-estimate the necessity of academic study. Schools should schedule both of them properly, by doing so, the efficiency of student's learning will be promoted notably.