Writing Feedback / ENGLISH - VIETNAMESE BACON! [2]

integration of languages

Dear All,

Kindly help me check this short essay. Thank you very much.

Language is a bio-language, it also evolves and perishes. It does not stand still. When the the world integrates, language also integrates. In the past, when I was 18-20 years old, seeing someone speaking Vietnamese mixed with some English words, I thought he or she was so bossy. But then when I grew up a bit, sometimes spoke Vietnamese with some English words; I understand better why and sympathize more for those "bossy" people.

Every day, we also speak with half Vietnamese and half English a lot, for example:

-Mày đi photo giúp tao
-Em đừng copy bài của bạn khác
-Mày gửi email cho tao chưa?
-Quần jeans gì mà xấu thế...
-Mày share bài quái quỷ gì lên facebook đấy?
-...

Words like "photo", "copy", "email", "jeans", "share" ... are being used so commonly that they will soon become part of Vietnamese.

Strong integrating places like Ho Chi Minh City, foreign companies in Vietnam, international schools in Vietnam ... use Vietnamese mixed with English very commonly. As in Singapore, strong integration in cultures, religions, races, economies... lead to the so-called "Singlish" (Singaporean English). Singapore use English as the official language, Malay as the mother tongue, and in Singapore, Chinese account for 70% of Singapore's population. So the language in Singapore is a mix of English, Chinese and Malay. For example, a very common conversation sentence in my previous company is often like this: "There is a good restaurant downstairs, you die die must try. Let's makan there lor! "(There is a very good restaurant downstairs, you must try it. Let's eat there!).

In short, I do not promote speaking Vietnamese mixed with English, especially in serious TV shows, but I look at this issue in a friendly and soft way, and I think that integration in language is inevitable.

Writing Feedback / Pictures - Describe the cutting tools [2]

ancient stone knives

Dear All,

Here is my new essay. Thank you for your time and feedback.

The six pictures describe two ancient stone knives made by prehistoric people at two different ages: 1.4 million years ago and 0.8 million years ago. Both cutting tools are 5cm long, but over 0.6 million years, the cutting tools were significantly improved with tool B sharper and thinner than tool A.

In the front view, the tip of tool B is shaper than that of tool A, and the bottom of tool B is rounder and wider than that of tool A. The surface of tool B also seems to be polished to be smoother than that of tool A.

In the side view, tool B has a clearer edge used to cut things than tool A. In addition, tool A seems rougher and thicker than tool A.

The back view of both tools seem to be similar to the front view. Tool A's back was not polished as skillfully as that of tool B.

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Writing Feedback / Bar Chart - social networking sites people used in Canada [2]

Dear All,

Here is my second essay. Thank you for your comment and time.

the percentage of Canadians using multiple social networking sites

Topic: The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart presents the percentage of Canadian people using multiple social networking sites in two different years: 2014 and 2015.

Overall, the percentage of Canadian people who did not use social media or used only one social networking site decreased slightly over the period shown, whereas the proportion of Canadian people who used more than two sites increased marginally.

Using one social networking site was the most popular in both years with 36% in 2014 and 28% in 2015. The percentage of people who did not have an account on social media was almost similar to that of people who had two accounts, and these figures remained almost unchanged over two years at around 21% to 24%.

There was a growth of 4% in the percentage of those people using three sites from 12% in 2014 to 16% in 2015. The figures for those people who had four and five networking sites rose almost two folds from 5% to 8% and from 2% to 4% respectively.

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Writing Feedback / Advertising to children - Discuss both views [2]

Commericials Aimed at Children

Hello All,

This is my first time here. It is nice to know you. Here is my essay. I hope I can receive your comments. Thank you very much.

Topic: In some countries, advertisers increase the amount of advertising which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys and other goods. Parents object to such pressure on children. But some advertisers claim that there is useful information in these advertisements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

When it comes to advertising, whether companies can advertise directly to children and convince them to buy snacks, toys and other goods or not has become a controversial issue. Parents believe these advertisements should be banned, whereas advertisers claim these advertisements are useful and beneficial for children. In my opinion, advertising to children can be allowed, but the government should have a clear set of regulations for these kinds of advertisements.

It is understandable why parents object to such advertisements because they believe their children are vulnerable and would absorb all of the information advertised without judgement. Children's mind, especially under 6 years old, is not fully developed and tend to believe what other people or advertisers say without critical thinking. Hence, it would be dangerous if advertisers persuade children to consume snacks instead of other healthy and nutritious food such as rice, meat or milk just because snacks are tastier and look more attractive. In fact, the government understands this problem and has exercised to ban all the advertisements aiming directly to children under 6 years old and monitor closely those advertisements aiming to children from 7 to 12 years old.

On the other side, advertisers argue that they understand children's needs and wants, sometimes even better than their parents. In 2019, Lego Corporation, a multinational company in the toy industry spent $3 billion on researching children's behavior and developing suitable and useful educational toys for children in various age. They believe these educational toys can be used to enhance children's intelligence and ability to solve problems. Hence, to them, it is justified to advertise these kinds of products directly to children regardless of age. However, as already analyzed previously, children's mind is like a blank page and would believe the advertisers without thinking the pros and cons of a product. Therefore, advertisers should advertise these products to parents instead of children who will help children examine a product's benefits as well as possible harm before purchasing.

In conclusion, I am totally convinced that advertisements of those products for children such as food, toys or clothes should be allowed but need to go through the strict censorship because children are vulnerable and not yet fully developed.