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Posts by linhchin
Name: Tu Linh
Joined: Jul 11, 2019
Last Post: Jul 23, 2019
Threads: 4
Posts: 7  
Likes: 1
From: Viet Nam
School: Nguyen Hue

Displayed posts: 11
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Jul 23, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: living in foreign countries and language issue [3]

local language knowledge

Living in a country where you have to speak in a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People migrate to foreign countries in order to find better works and living condition. While I agree that moving like this may cause social problems as well as practical problems, I do not think that these issues are too serious to be solved.

On the one hand, it is true that migrators may have to face many problems when they live in a foreign country. Firstly, they may find communicating with local people difficult due to language barriers and simple daily activities, such as going to the grocery store, can become a huge task. Secondly, they may experience misunderstandings at work or in their neighborhood because of culture differences. For example, not bowing when greeting older people is normal in Vietnam but in Korea, it may be considered rude and disrespectful. Lastly, outlanders may struggle in making friends or having new relationships in a foreign country, which may lead to the feeling of loneliness, homesickness and stress.

However, I believe that the above-mentioned problems are not serious since it is short-lived and can be prevented with some preparations before migrating. For instance, to avoid culture shock, migrators can look up for local movies, music or history on the internet to understand more about indigenous people and way of life there. They can also attend language classes and practice with native people to make sure they understand basic phrases before moving. Personally, I believe that if migrators have good preparations and are willing to learn new things, living in a country where they have to speak a foreign language would not be a serious problem to them.

In conclusion, although there are social and practical problems that immigrant might have to face, I believe that these are not serious and can be solved easily.

On a scale from 1-10, how would you rate my essay? Thanks for your help
Jul 23, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: More good news on the media [4]

hi @nimbus2k2
overall, i think your essay is good but there are some small mistakes. In the second paragraph, you wrote FIRSTLY but didnt write SECONDLY.
This sentence MOREOVER, SOMETIMES BAD NEWS OVERTAKES GOOD NEWS seems incomplete and unclear to me.
And your conclusion should be about your own opinion since the topic asks about your opinion.
Jul 15, 2019
Writing Feedback / The obesity of people rises and their health condition is getting worse [3]

health and solutions

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

It is true that the weight of people in many countries is increasing and their health condition is getting worse in recent years. There a variety of possible reasons for this, but some measures can be taken to tackle the problem.

In my opinion, there are two main reasons to blame for the bad health condition of people nowadays. Firstly, modern citizens tend to they eat more fast foods since they are living busy and hectic lives and do not have enough time to cook. These processed foods often include high amount of fat and cholesterol, which can lead to obesity and cardiovascular diseases. Secondly, many people these days live a sedentary, lazy lifestyle. Instead of going out or playing sports, they may prefer sitting at home watching television and surfing the internet. As a result, they do not get enough exercise and might have serious health problems such as diabetes.

However, the problem can be solved easily by changing some small habits. I believe that the change must start with meals, which need to be fresh and nutritious. People should have home-cooked food with wide range of vegetables and fruits, even when they are busy. In addition, exercises on a regular basis should also be taken. This may include simple activities such as dog-walking, riding bike to work or jogging in the morning. If people more spend time on going out than using phones, their health can be noticeably improved.

In conclusion, citizens' health condition will continue to deteriorate unless they change their unhealthy habits themselves.
Jul 15, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 Different between online news and paper based news [4]

I think it is not allowed to start task 2 essays with questions since it sounds more journalistic than academic style.
also, your essay is too short for an ielts essay which must have at least 250 words.
and I think your essay is not academic style
Jul 12, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : Hobbies need to be difficult? [2]

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

only challenging hobbies enjoyable?

It is commonly believed that hobbies are only enjoyable when they are challenging. Personally, I believe that both easy and difficult hobbies can be fun and therefore, I disagree with the statement.

On the one hand, it is true that difficult hobbies are sometimes more interesting. If an activity is challenging, people usually feel a great sense of satisfaction when they complete or achieve it. For example, when I started editing photos and videos, which is difficult, as a hobby, there were a lot for me to learn. After one year of self-studying, I became competent and now I enjoy it much more than when I started. In addition, since challenging activities are more difficult to master, it can keep people interested, stop them from dropping off and avoid boredom.

On the other hand, I believe that easy hobbies can be as enjoyable as difficult ones. Since one's hobbies depend on his own interest, many people can find an easy and simple activity, which does not require special skills, fun and regard it as their hobby. A good example for this is knitting. This hobby requires little materials and easy for everyone to learn but still enjoyable. Moreover, easy hobbies are usually less expensive than challenging ones; therefore, they often attract more people. This means that when people take up an easy hobby, they are likely to meet more friends who have similar interest, which can be enjoyable and pleasant.

In conclusion, I believe that both types of hobbies are interesting but in different ways.
Jul 12, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Cause and solution to the over-all happiness of the youth [4]

hi @lichien0422
i think your essay is clear and well-organized.
however i think you should replace first and second with firstly and secondly because it sounds more formal. moreover, in a written essay, i would prefer to not use 'you'. You can use 'people' instead
Jul 12, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Advertising in Human Life [2]

in my opinion, you are writing unnecessarily complex sentences, which are difficult to understand. moreover, you are focusing too much on using difficult words instead of proving your points. I recommend you Simon IELTS's writings, which are clear and well-organized.

And I think this we can deny that should be we cannot deny that or it cannot be denied that ??
Jul 11, 2019
Writing Feedback / Evaluating the opinion that increasing petrol's price would solve traffic and pollution problems [4]

IELTS writing task 2 - petrol price

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?

Growing traffic and pollution are serious problems nowadays. Personally, I completely disagree with the opinion that increasing petrol's price would solve those problems and believe that other measures would be more constructive.

To begin with, there are two reasons why I would argue against increasing price of petrol. Firstly, when the petrol's price is higher, people will start using less petrol and therefore, this energy industry will be affected. Because of this, the economy of many countries might struggle due to the fact that petrol is an important industry in many nations. For example, middle east countries might have huge loss if people stop using petrol since petrol is their most important export industry. Secondly, increasing petrol price will affect citizens' lives and raise living expenses. For example, in my country, people use petrol to cook food and therefore, food price will be increased.

In my view, there are some alternatives that are more effective than raising petrol cost. The first solution is investing more in public transportation and infrastructure. For example, governments could open new bus routes to meet people's demand of travelling and commuting, which will help reducing cars on road and greenhouse gas emissions. Another solution is encouraging people to work from home through internet. This will reduce the numbers of commuters and avoid traffic jams at rush hours.

In conclusion, I disagree with the idea of increasing petrol price to solve traffic or pollution problems and believe other measures such as public transportation and home working will be more beneficial.