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Posts by Ghitamalia
Name: Ghita Tamalia
Joined: Dec 11, 2019
Last Post: Dec 15, 2019
Threads: 3
Posts: 4  
Likes: 2
From: Indonesia

Displayed posts: 7
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Ghitamalia   
Dec 15, 2019
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 USER ENGAGEMENT FOR FOUR SOCIAL MEDIA AND THEIR MARKET SHARE [2]

different statistics of social networking sites



The comparison of user engagement for four social media platforms is presented in the table and the proportion of their market share is illustrated in the pie chart.

Overall, the number of average visits per day for Twitter presents the biggest rate while the highest percentage of market share is Facebook. LinkedIn which has dominated for spending time per day.

The most visitor from social media per day is Twitter, followed by Facebook which has the highest proportion in market share. Nevertheless, the figure for average time per day in Twitter show the lowest rate at 0.6 and that of those in Facebook is the second lowest one at 0.8.

LinkedIn becomes the biggest portion of average hours that has spent by user in everyday but the number of its visitor has the lowest rate at 7.2 as well as their market share with 11.34%. Similarly, the second highest user for spending their time in social media is Instagram yet its figure has less visitor at 16.6 as well as 18.45% of its market, being the second lowest.




Ghitamalia   
Dec 15, 2019
Writing Feedback / Spending comparison among five countries - ielts task 1 writing [4]

Hi @Windy !

I have some comments on your essay:

Firstly, Please put the image, so we as the reader know the question clearly.

Secondly, You should avoid typographical errors.

Lastly, For the overall, try to write the general trend while including the language of comparison and changes. For instance:

Overall ...

If I were you, I will write:

Overall, in all five countries, ... on food, drinks, and tobacco while they paid out less significantly on leisure and education.

Hopefully, those could be useful for your future writing.
Ghitamalia   
Dec 15, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1-Comparative Graph CO2 [3]

Hi @JoyceTran !

I have comment on your essay:

Firstly, Please be more attention the tenses. You should use past tense for past events. For instance:

This figure has had risen
The same pattern has had been ...

... and then has had declined
... the amount has had decreased

Hopefully, this could be useful for you.
Ghitamalia   
Dec 15, 2019
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 IELTS The process of solar powered Water Heating System [2]

water heated by sun - the system description



The diagram shows the process of solar water heating system and the installment of solar panels are located in two different areas.

Initially, the solar water heating system uses solar panel which collects solar energy from the sun. This energy supplies the electricity for the heating system and through the thermal fluid. The pump will operate through controller. Moreover, there is heating coil in the water tank to heat the cold water and ready to used for daily ablution.

There are positive and negative effects for every part of solar panels. In the first installations, it is easy to clean and maintenance but it is obstructed easily. Meanwhile, the second installation is difficult to clean and maintenance yet its above obstructions by trees. Both solar panels should be in ideal angle for 90o and facing south to absorb the sunlight.

Overall, the process of water heating system which used solar energy that powered by solar panels in two different places.




Ghitamalia   
Dec 15, 2019
Writing Feedback / The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car [4]

Hi @Dao Thu Ha

Let me give you some comments:

Firstly, please upload the image, so we as reader know the question well.

Next, I suggest you to use simple past for past events and use simple sentence. For example:

... by car is was thehighest, ..., meanwhile, the bus users and train users is lower....

It will be better if you write:

that of bus and train passengers was lower ....

Hope it helps.
Ghitamalia   
Dec 12, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Writing task 1 IELTS Oman and Spain Populations by its citizens' age [4]

Hi @yasabh I just notice that you've made some grammar mistakes, let me correct it for you:

Paragraph 2 :

In 2005, both of the youngest ...
... the lowest portion percentage with 14%, ... the largest percentage figure of 62 (what did you want to say?)... biggest fraction proportion with almost a quarter.

Paragraph 3:

... to increase (up) to 6%, ... remain as the minority...

hope it helps
Ghitamalia   
Dec 11, 2019
Writing Feedback / The proportion of Omani and Spaniard people by age [2]

Oman and Spain Populations



The pie charts shows the percentage of Omani and Spaniard ages of populations from 2005 to 2055.

The group of people aged 60+ years in Spain was the biggest proportion among all of the figures over the years. Initially, Omani aged 60+ years and 0-14 years accounted for 48% as the largest one but the percentage of aged 60+ years became the most populations at 57% in 2055. However, the lowest portion of citizens was people aged 15-59 years in Oman and people aged 0-14 years in Spain throughout the years.

Apart from the previous comparison, Omani aged 60+ years and aged 15-59 years gradually increased to 57% and 6% in 2055 respectively. Similarly, the local aged 15-59 years in Spain rose by 18% in the last period. The inhabitants aged 0-14 years in Oman decreased by 11% in 2055, while Spaniard aged 60+ years and 0-14 years steadily fell to 46% and 12% in 2055.

Overall, Spaniard aged 60+ years presented the highest proportion of populations in both years. However, Oman aged 15-59 years as the lowest position, as well as, Spaniard aged 0-14 years which decreased for five decade period.