Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by rmli
Joined: Oct 9, 2009
Last Post: Sep 11, 2010
Threads: 7
Posts: 10  

From: Singapore

Displayed posts: 17
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
rmli   
Sep 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - 'Meng Zi Story'; Classmates are a more important influence [4]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

When it comes to whether classmates exert more influence than parents on a child's success in school, I certainly believe that parents play a more important role than classmates on a child's success in school.

First, small children can often be seen as blank paper; the environment created by a parent would have implicit, but significant influences on children before their school ages. Favorable environment created by parents will increase the odds for children to success in school. There is a story about Meng Zi who was an eminent philosopher in ancient China. When Meng Zi was a child, his mother did not wish small Meng Zi to grow up to be a common illiterate civilian. She believed that if her son grew up amongst illiterate men then he too would be as illiterate as them. Thus she moved the houses several times and finally settled down near a private school , where Meng Zi could easily access knowledge and make contacts with intellectual.

In addition to that, compared with classmates, parents have long term effective impact on the children. When children were very small, they obeyed what parent said, as they used to fully rely on parents. When they grow up, they will find there are some similarities with classmates and classmates begin to exert influence on them. Although in a certain period, children spent more time with classmate and got a better understanding from classmates. Parents still have the most effective impact on their children in long term. Familiar classmates will leave them after a few years, but to be success in the school needs long term unremitting effort, thus continuous encourage and support from parent will have more opportunities to make important influence for a long term.

Finally, although classmates have similar experience and psychology, that do not mean children can only be well known by his peers, actually it should be easier for children to communicate with their parents. Before the school ages, children and parents had built close relationship, and parents would live with children until they grew up. In long term, parents have more time to get in touch with children than any other single classmate, thus parents have more opportunities to be the person who has the best understanding on their children.

In conclusion, neither the role of parents nor classmates should be denied, but I believe that the children's success is affected more by their parents than by their classmates.
rmli   
Sep 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / It is better to take a job with a low pay but safe than to take a job with a high pay [5]

In modern society, everyone needs to find a job to earn his living and support his families. in some degree, we can say that a job is a man's most precious possession. jobs have difference, it will be more competitive , thus not stable for high-pay job. it is not unusual people take high wage as success, and there are person willing to find high-pay job even though it might be easy to lose.However, an increasing number of people would rather take a low-pay job but is more secure. As far as I am concerned, which kind of job an individual seeks should depend on his or her age.
rmli   
Jul 21, 2010
Writing Feedback / I would like to meet Jim Thorpe, the 1912 Olympic Gold Medal winner. [4]

please help to make it better.
thanks
Ruo Ming

If I were afforded the opportunity to meet a famous athlete, I would like to meet Jim Thorpe, the 1912 Olympic Gold Medal winner, whose medal was striped soon after the game, and an Indian athlete, whose ancestry eventually lead to poverty and alcoholism.

About Jim, one of his attractive was his sport talent and achievement; Jim had shown his outstanding sport talent in the Indian Carlisle School. When he walked past the track and beat the school's high jumpers with an impromptu 5-ft 9-in jump while still wearing street clothes. It was the 1912 Olympic game Jim wrote his legend. In the game, he won the both of pentathlon and decathlon game, and in the decathlon , his recorded of 8,413 points stood for nearly two decades, even converts to 6564 points on the current tables, still a very respectable score a nearly century later.

His answer to the King of Sweden also impressed me deeply. When awarding Thorpe his prize for his win in decathlon in 1912 Olympic game, King Gustav said, "You, sir, are the greatest athlete in the world," to which he replied, "Thanks, King". The simply and honestly reply didn't like the one will be standing on the ceremony which great success can bring.

If many repellent human traits surfaced during a tragedy, that tragedy will be absorbing and worth profoundly considering. Thorpe's story was one. In early 1913, U.S. newspapers found and announced that Thorpe had played professional baseball. At that time the player should be amateur status according to the Olympic rule. Thorpe had indeed played professional baseball, what he was done what other college men had done, except that they did not use their own names. Not for the first or last time, a sports organization stuck to the letter not the spirit of the law. The International Olympic Committee (IOC) demanded its medals back.

From a disadvantaged child to the greatest athlete of the first half of the 20th century, Thorpe's succeeded. As in that age racism was rife in the United States, he failed in enjoying real American freedoms. One person with Such strong contrast succeed and fail , that fetches me deeply, if I can talk to him ,I would like to know his view of his life and let him know the IOC had acknowledged that they had erred, and declared you are co-champion.
rmli   
Nov 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / Toefl essay which changed people's lives automobiles bicycles airplanes [3]

hi my friends,
Another essay,Againe I hope you can help to make it better.
Thanks in advance.
Ruoming

Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why
you think it has changed people's lives.
- automobiles
- bicycles
- airplanes
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


Although new invention will changed the world more or less, only a few inventions can take the significant change to the ordinary people. The automobiles were one. The automobiles had improved our travelling ability, and such changed is not only in the travelling but also in living.

The speed and range which was provided by automobile has facilitated the transport and travelling. One can live in the nearby countryside which has better living condition, and go to work by bus or car. The fresh food such as fresh milk can be delivery farer, thus it provide the benefit to both the farmer and custom. Furthermore, the automobile can be designed to special application, thus brought daily life great advantage as well as change. For example the ambulance was designed for saving the life, it help patient to survive from acute disease or accident while it contributed to shape up the modern emergency treatment system.

Beside the directly changed, the automobile has also changed the human society indirectly. The wildly distributed gas station and well developed high way system were good examples. Furthermore, the blooming of the vehicle manufacture industry had stimulated the related industry, such as iron and steel industry, and petroleum industry; the raising industries stimulate the development of corresponding techniques. As a result, new towns roused in the place where resource was found; new plant was set up; new technologies were developed.

The change which taken by the automobile are not all positive. The traffic accidents can bring more seriously damage than former vehicle, and unfortunately, accompany by the Sales Volume increasing the automobile vehicles the number and rate of such accident were increased. Another example of the negative change was the greenhouse effect.

All above, demonstrated the change brought by the automobile were profound.
rmli   
Nov 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Parents are natural teachers [16]

hi, margarita

They taught us from the moment we arrived to life, they reinforced our learning from the school years, and they taught us the values that will shape later our lives".

I think that the write should be a adulte who has grown up and finished initial school education, As the writer has the ability to write such a comment paper , So I changed to the past tense. but it is ok using present tense.

Raising my children, I have repeated..." is because i am raising two sons, so for me is present perfect. Should i change it to future?

Sorry, I just feeled the expression 'Raising my children' not so smooth , So I changed it in my case. how about this : As a mother of two son, I have repeated....

Good luck.
rmli   
Nov 15, 2009
Writing Feedback / Water is the most common element for ordinary people; A paragraph about water [4]

Water is the most common element for ordinary peple,but it was an invisible thorn for me .it ever infuse and ingrain in my mind and certainly prompte the nightmare that had accompanied me for many years. It was a sad story, that occured on a Sunday in 1997, March, distinctly showing that in the calender,rather rather than boring for doing nothing at home, my sincere friend and I had made ourself "homelesshouseless " by swimming in the river. It was approximately 2 kilometers from my house, we were both exhilarating there, with the joy radiating from the bottom of our heart. Perhaps the angle's wing was not hovering over us ,as the unprecedented torrential down pour was happened so abruptly and dramatically. We swam rapidly towards the bank, at that critical moment, my friend suddenly suffer for the muscle cramp. I had tried to help him , but failed. The personal witness of lossing a friend is my long time anguish and such expierence can still be i can still recalled it vividly in my mind .while it haunts in my mind unintentionally. Each time I remreber it I cann't help my tears , and smeare away with the my broken heart that suffered from the misery, sorrow, agony and excrutiating pain as my solemn appeal to the Almighty, did not success.Times passes with the blink of an eyes, however water is still a dread for me, but it is the basic element that play an important role in our life and spurs basic resources of the rapid development of our civilization.
rmli   
Nov 13, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay What are some important qualities of a good supervisor [2]

What are some important qualities of a good supervisor (boss)? Use specific details and examples to explain why these qualities are important.

Corresponded qualities were necessary to be succeeded in an occupation. For a good supervisor, I think three qualities were more important. They are good perception on the man, good knowledge, and good personal character.

The most important quality of a good supervisor ...

All in all, I believe that good perception on the man, the knowledge on the specialized subject, and the good character were conspicuous qualities for a good supervisor.
rmli   
Nov 13, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Physical exercise should be required part of every school day [7]

Exercising is good for a healthy body and brainthe study will get benifit form good healthy . It is well known how important is to exercise regularly towill help the body system works better. When people exercise the respiratory system function is enhanced, helping all organs, including the brain, to get more oxygen in. Daily exercise will provide children with a mental break and healthier body which will boost them to be betterefficient learners. furthermore,as studies have shown that the rate of obesity in children has increased. there will be one more reason for children to have physical activity and get a break from being sitting all day at school.
rmli   
Nov 7, 2009
Writing Feedback / Cable ship visit report -- ASEAN Explorer return from the Indian Ocean [6]

Cable ship visit report
At the beginning of the Sep, a Singapore- based cable vessel -ASEAN Explorer return to the homeport form the Indian Ocean, while it still stayed in harbor, IEEE Photonics Society Singapore Chapter getting the support from SingTel organized a visit. As there were no more than 50 cable vessels in the world, while most of time such ships were sailing on the sea. Such an opportunity was really valuable.

Using submarine cable for communication has near 150 years history, but it had not been the reigning technique for intercontinental communication until the fiber communication system presented exclusive advantages in late 1980s. Now, over 95% of trans-ocean communication is sent via submarine cable, and the cable ship is dedicated to lay fiber based cable, and it was started form 1988 first commercial trans-oceanic fibre communication system TAT8.

The cable ship was specially designed and used to lay or maintain cables under deep water. Distinguished from other types of ship, it has a large superstructure, and several big cable tanks. It always outfits with the latest navigation and dynamic positioning controlling equipments. Furthermore it also equips with remotely controlled vehicle, seaplow, cable drum, linear cable engine, and vast communication equipments. The cable ship is generally designed for deep water operation, for the shallow water, near terrene construction barge was used in the water depth less than 10m, and diver was employed in the water depth less than 2m.

The cable laying operation begins with the cable being 'floated' ashore to the landing position from the cable ship, and then the floatation bags are removed and the cable settles to the seabed. After that the cable ship follows the pre-determinate route laying the cable as required. Once the ship arrived at the other cable end (previously installed and buoyed off), the ship would adjust its position so that both cable ends could be brought to the board, then the final splice of cable was made. Upon completion of the final splice joint, the cable would be deployed on the seabed.

The maintain operation starts from roughly locating the fault form the terminal stations, then the cable ship with the grapnel, which was a special device that can simultaneously cut and seize cables was dispatched to the nearby regions. Once the cable was found, it would be cut in situ and brought onto the ship by the grapnel. On the ship, a buoy would be attached to the end of the cut cable, and then replaced them on the ocean surface. After that, the ship went to find the other end of the cable. Once the other end was found, the faulty cable section would be instead by the replacement cable. After that the ship returned to the buoy, and the cable attached to the buoy would be spliced to the replacement cable. Finally, after a series of tests, the cable was released onto the sea bed.

Beside the advanced techniques and highly trained staff, a suitable organize scheme was necessary for balancing the cost, time, and quality. The submarine cable communication system project often adapted the Project Management frame to organize the resource, and the project manager was ultimately responsible for ensuring that the objectives of the project were achieved.

The signal on each fiber -pair of TAT8 was transported at 295.6 Mbit/s. Now 1000Gbit/s can be obtained on each fiber-pair (100 wavelengths to be modulated at 10Gbit/s enabling a capacity of more than 1 Terabit/s per fiber-pair). Seldom can a technique improve itself like the speed that fiber communication has improved, and influences of such improvement were on the way that we living rather than the way that we communicate. If you answer the question what is the Engineering as the practical application of science and math to solve problems, the fiber communication could be taken as the example that can demonstrate well what the Engineering is.
rmli   
Nov 7, 2009
Writing Feedback / Toefl Essay"Technologies has made people learning more quickly and efficiently. [4]

I totally agree with the statement that technologies had made learning easier and efficient. I would put some reasons to support this statement in the following paragraphs.

With the help of information technologies such as fiber communication, Personal computer and database, students can gather collect information regarding any subjects in much easier manner . Previously, to obtain knowledge in a topic , student had to search in the libraries or had to get information from ask for the experienced or knowledgeable person, both of them will cost lots of time.about any topics . But now with the help of computers and internet , a person can find more accurate information in a few minutes with a computer by within no time. By making the use of using search engine in the computer , a student can learn and find much more information in a new topic ,information about . actually, using searching engine such Google, yahoo had became a routine way to obtain information for student. Furthermore, even themore and more academic organizes provided high quality technique literature access service through online libraries or database, such as IEEE Xplore.They provide an online catalogue facilities to for the students to find the books and articles in an easier way without wasting time. Thus with this technology, learning will be interesting and easy obtain information became easier.

Nowadays technologies have changed the nature and pattern of learning. That means technologies had changed that previouslythe former way that student had to attend the traditional schools and lectures of the professor to get the knowledge. Compared to the multimedia education, using of projectors, audio and video tapes which provides the information vividly oldpatternparadigmbecomes highly was boring for the students. But technologies has made the way interesting manner.Moreover, As human mind can grasp the things more accurately by seeing themwatching and listening rather than only hearing. Therefore, this changes in pattern of learning help to create interest in learning.

In addition to this, furthermore, technologies have also made human more intellectual. With the invention of television, internet and so on .human mindpeople can collect information from various sources and think intellectuallyon particular subject form different views, that made think more intelligently . Games shows, scientific experiment programmers' were shown in the television make a person to think moreunderstands the abstract concept easier and more accurate . Therefore, it develops help a curiosity in a person to get more knowledge and provide them a chance to perform his thoughts more practically. Thus a person learn by actually performing things.

In conclusion, I would say that, technologies had made learning quicker with the internet and more convenient with tapes and cd's ,and much more conceptual with its practical performance.
rmli   
Nov 5, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL:External appearances can provide important clues to a person [6]

-it can also indicate the society(custom) to some extent.
-If we want to really know someone, a better way is to obtain all the respects of information about him or her.
it is not reasonable and not feasible to get all the information about a person.
it better to get along with him for a period of time .
-I admitted that judging a person only by the external factors is not reasonable.
I need admit that it is not reasonalbe to speculate about what a person really is.

forthemore, I think you can expand your argument form the relation between the appearance and the occupation. such as the priest wears the robe.
rmli   
Nov 3, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay large firm and small company - higher income in a large one [4]

The following was the one of my essay for TOEFL, your review comment will help me improve me writing abilty, thanks in advance.
Some people prefer to work for a large company. Others prefer to work for a small company. Which would you prefer? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

Lots of student will face such a problem, to work in a big company or a small one. Each choice has benefits as well as disadvantages .for a big company, one will gain more knowledge and experience, but his work will focus on a narrow area. On the other hand, if one chooses to work for a small firm, he will have a wide experience and knowledge about the company operation, but his income will be very likely not higher then working in big company. Personally, I preferred to working in the big firm.

There are several reasons for me to choose the big company, and the main reason is that I wish to be a professional and I believe working in big company will help me to realize it. There are many opportunities to get in touch with the talent on their major in big company. Working with them, I will definitely benefit from their experience and skill. For example, once, I had worked at a company with several professional research engineering as research assistance for one year. Their knowledge helped me directly drive to the key of the project, and their experience saved me form impracticable ideas. Furthermore, in big firm, one had more training opportunities, which cannot provide by the small company.

The other reason for me is the income. For working in big firm the income will be higher. The wage will be very important for the new graduate whose family needs money. For example, one came from financial strait family, and had two little brothers studying in school. A good wage will be help his family form hard living.

Although working in a small company, one will gain full experience, and will obtain greater choice to promotion, when the company gets a good development. But the undeniable fact was the work was not steady, as the small firm was weak in the market economy.

After considering the above, I can get the conclusion that although working in small firm also have advantage, I will choose to work in the big firm.
rmli   
Oct 15, 2009
Letters / Letter to a professor who offered me a research job [5]

hi, I am in singapore , and I am a native speaker of Chinese.
following was the letter I reply to a Prof who had offered an research job for me, can you help me to check ?

Dear **
Scarcely does a choice will be better than this for my case. it well balanced the work and the person wish, so I accept the arrangement.

Although two years is shorter than ordinary PhD duration(even in related direction), it is too long to predict how the situation will be. Present will affect the future, so I would do well to strive for a bright future and prove my value.

I can imagine it will make far-reaching positive impacts for me, sincerely thanks.
With regards
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳