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Posts by monica0407
Name: Nguyen Thi Bich Lien
Joined: Jul 21, 2020
Last Post: Aug 6, 2020
Threads: 3
Posts: 4  
Likes: 1
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 7
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Aug 6, 2020
Writing Feedback / IS IT IMPORTANT TO OWN A HOME ? [3]

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people

Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Nowadays, in several nations, people believe that owing a home is acknowledged that is more essential than hiring a place for living. There is a reason for this and I suppose this is a positive situation.

People think that a home ownership is more important the other because it gives them a sense of belonging. In other words, they will want to protect and maintain their own house if they have. For example, when someone possess a house, this house is usually decorated by its owners. Because of that, all of things in the house such as furniture will completely suits for those possessors, which make them belong to those places. Therefore, individuals do not want to pay for the expense of renting accommodations.

In my opinion, this behavior is totally positive because of its benefit. To be clear, if people own a home, they will settle their life. For instance, some individuals regularly change their living places due to inconveniences and annoyance from the houses which are not decorated for themselves. Those can easily comfort in their own after possessing and repairing to suit for them. As a result, they will have a chance to stabilize in a certain place without repetitive movements. Furthermore, a property possession can raise people's social status. Specifically, people will have a better perspective from others in the society compared to individuals who must spend on a rent expense.

In conclusion, I believe that people want to own a house rather than pay a fixed amount of money for hiring because a home will give them a sense of belonging and this affects positively on their life because of its advantage.
Aug 6, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS- Task 2: Selection of students based on their qualifications [4]

I think your essay need more examples which can support your ideas and make those clearer. Specifically, in the second paragraph, you can add an example after "Having the same qualification, students ..." to support it deeply. And you should remove it because it did not support to the main idea of this paragraph and you also did not give any explanation for it.
Jul 30, 2020

success of advertising

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, while some people acknowledge a success of advertising in apealing to buyers, others deny this because commercials are becoming too common. I will discuss these behaviours and give my opinion on this essay.

People admit to a wonderful success of advertising because the quality of commercials is being in a higher level. In other words, consumers are being persuaded by high-quality advertisements rather than a real quality of goods for shopping. For example, on TV commercial breaks, watchers are easily attracted by contents and visual effects of those advertisements, which make people will splurge on those products.

However, others disagree with this success because a range of ideas used for advertisements is more and more similar. Obviously, people will not pay attention to what an advertisement is showing if there is no difference on the content compared to others. This can lead to a sense of boredom due to the repetition. For example, when a commercial attracts many viewers, there will be numerous versions after that, which leads to a poor attraction of the advertising on some people.

In my opinion, the advertising is still powerful in attracting shoppers because they are more and more amusing. They are not only normal advertisements which advertises products, but also tools to convey a source of inspiration and meaningful stories to watchers. For instance, some advertisers call for a protection on our environment on their advertisements, as a way to persuade the public buying the products.

In conclusion, while some people disclam an influence of advertising due to its repetition, others and I believe that an advertising industry is in the successful period through its attraction.
Jul 29, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS T2 View on shopping becoming a hobby instead of a routine domestic task [4]

1/ the lengths of two body paragraph are not similar
2/ you should write more complex or compound sentences, your essay have a lot of simple sentences.
3/ I do not know what "it" is refered to ( the last sentence of the second paragragh)
4/ This sentence "Some people spend money on artifacts as ..." didn't prove anything and not related to your topic sentence.
5/ You refer to drawbacks in both intro and conclusion, but there is no reference about them on your body paragragh.
Jul 28, 2020
Writing Feedback / Many people believe, that authorities are unnecessarily investing money on the arts [3]

1/ your essay have a range of vocabularies but the word "redefine" means " give sth a new meaning", so did you use it exactly?
2/ I don't know what is the function of the second paragraph. If it have no function, it should be excluded.
3/ the last sentence of the third paragraph is out of the topic, because it is not related to government
p/s: these are my point of view, but i hope it will be helpful for you.
Jul 21, 2020

a longer life and higher life expectancy

One of the consequences of medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disavantages? (WRITTING TASK 2)

A longer life and higher life expectancy are acknowledge as a result of a development in the medical care. Although this improvement has its benefits, I believe that its disadvantages could be more important.

On the one hand, a longer life could be a chance for the old to enjoy the rest of their life with their family. They could spend more time to do things that they have not done in their adulthood. For example, adults usually struggle to earn money and work hard to get success, so they could miss some experiences such as travelling or learing some instrument. Because of that, living longer will help them finish their wishes.

On the other hand, I think this improvement in the health care will lead to some negative impacts. Firstly, retired people could be feel lonely between their family members because those members also struggle to make earnings as the old before. They also could be a burden if they have health problems and need to be looked after to recover. Secondly, they could become a social problem due to the higher life expectancy. The population will be aged, which leads to the loss of human resoures. For instance, some countries now are being in the face of lacking of human resources because of the great number of people retired.

In conclusion, even though living longer and having a healthy life expectancy can make the elderly happier, its negative impacts on family members and society should not be underestimated.