Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: state-funded public transport - agree/disagree [3]

Some people think that public transport should be funded by the government so that it can be free to the people who use it.

To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Public transport has become a common vehicle in our daily life. Those means of transport has brought many benefits to our environment. In other word, the more people travel by public transport the more benefits are gained. Thus, I party approves that government should make it free for public transport users.

As I mentioned above, Public transport like bus is one of the key elements to improve environment quality for reducing the amount of pollutant particles stem from cars and motorbike, cutting down the expenses the government has to pay to solve air pollution. In addition, lessening the number of vehicles on the streets solve traffic congestion, benefiting the countries where bottlenecks are commonly the norm. Besides, to make it possible, the government should raise tax to balance the fiscal budget, motivating people to travel by public transport since they have paid for their trip through taxes

However, public transport includes not solely bus but also other expensive means of transport like train, ship and airplane, which cannot be totally funded by the state for the high price and not everyone travels by those vehicles every day, which makes it irrational for them to pay for the vehicles they do not use frequently. Hence, the policy should only apply for bus travelers who only need to travel in short distance. If the policy is approved by the state, not only the air quality will be benefited but the awareness of community will also grow since many poor people will be able to travel around easier.

In short, state-funded bus can facilitates air quality and increase the sense of community of people in a country. However, applying such policy to other means of public transport like train or airplane should be unreasonable for high price and having less travelers than pedestrians

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: Smoking restriction in public places [4]

smoking in public should be forbidden

Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate and reach your own conclusion on which side you favor.

Smoking cigarette is well-known for is harmful effects not only on direct smokers but also passive smokers around him. Many countries have forbidden smoking in public places while others do not tend to follow. This essay will go through some reasons for both sides.

On the one hand, supporters of smoking restriction in public places point out some of the positive effects of the law which are improve physical health of other people who do not smoke. Evidence from many statistics show that most of the victims of lung diseases caused by tobacco are passive smokers. These people are range from children to pregnant women. In addition, they claim that smoking in public can hugely impact the awareness of children. Children can use these negative images as their role models to imitate and become addicted to smoking.

On the other hand, authorities in other countries believes that smoking is not noticeable problem in their countries since they do not produce cigarette and the sources of tobacco are from abroad which boosts the price much higher than the places of production, making their people to consider carefully before purchasing a cigarette. Moreover, to some countries, the benefit coming from the sales of cigarette make up most of the state budget. Take Cuba for example, this country has been globally famous for their cigarette and exported their product to many other countries. Forbidding their people to smoke means destroying their economy and admitting that they are producing a toxic kind of goods.

To conclude, admittedly, tobacco plays an important role in some countries. Nevertheless, they should accept the truth that it is very harmful to social health. Even if they can make profits from selling tobacco, the money they gain will be invested in healthcare and the passive smokers are the only ones that suffer from the illness while they do not smoke. That is why smoking in public should be forbidden.

(320 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: The idea that everyone should contribute a stable part of their revenue to charity [2]

"Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity."

How far do you share this viewpoint?

Nowadays, doing charity has become a popular activity that many people participate in. This leads to the idea that everyone should contribute a stable part of their revenue to charity. From my point of view, there are some loop holes of this idea that lead to my disagreement.

To begin with, obliging everyone to donate their money without considering their will does not seem to be a sound decision. This mean that it should not be expected a person to contribute their money with a cranky face because doing charity is not solely giving money but also the willingness to help others of donators. Another argument is that since workers are paid differently, giving a fixed amount of money seems fair but in the pattern of living standard, the lower-income people may find it more struggling in daily life than higher-income people do. This might make the situation decline because people with low income might become the ones who should receive charity. Last but not least, encouraging everyone to contribute money can be the root of social corruption. The result of this is that lazy people might take advantage of the policy to receive money from the ones who contribute their effort to make a better society. Those dependent people would be burden of community if the idea were supported.

I accept that raising fund for poor people is a humane activity. It can help promote economy and motivate people to work harder. However, the disadvantages tend to overwhelm the advantages brought by the idea.

To conclude, due to the differences in status and living condition, forcing everyone to donate money should not be encouraged. Instead, everyone can help poor people with voluntary activities or donating old clothes instead of money.

(290 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2 Crimes are rising among young people. Cause - solution [5]

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people.

Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Recently, the number of criminals has been climbing up all around the world. The roots for this issue seem to be focused on 3 areas. Some methods to address these problems seem to be clear to us.

The major cause, perhaps, comes from the lack of suitable punishments of the authority. For example, the punishments for criminals usually aim at causing mental or physical damages without being educative and directing them to be a better person. Another visual cause is from poverty. It is obvious that most people choose to become criminals because they cannot afford their life. It is easy to understand since no one originally wants to commit crimes unless they are urged by their survival instinct. Last but not least, family life can substantially affect a child to become a criminal in the future. It appears in some cases that criminals' parents used to commit crimes in the past

Turning to possible remedies for these problems, the main role may come from the authority. Instead of torturing criminals' mentality and physicality. They should implement some activities that help enhance the awareness of being a better person of the crime committer. The state also needs to focus on the poors and make sure that economy develops equally. Another solution is to provide homeless people with subsidy. To reduce the crime rate, parents should consider the most efficient way to raise child regardless of who they were in the past since everyone has a past and they need to acknowledge that they have learn the lesson and they should teach their children not to step on their foot print.

In summary, the main causes come from penalties, economy and education. Authority can help by providing subsidy and changing the punishments while each parent should try their best to give proper education to their children contribute to the reduction of crimes.

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: Boarding schools are excellent for children, according to some people's opinion [7]

Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while others disagree for a number of reasons.

Consider both sides and reach a conclusion

Nowadays, as education has become an essential part of bringing up a child, many people prefer their children to attend boarding school for some good reasons. However, others tend to be against the idea since they believe that school is not the only educational source to raise a child. We will go into these both views in this essay.

Firstly, school provides children with the most academic environment in which they can consume as much knowledge as they want. So, boarding schools should be considered to be a good option for parents who want their child to be a good student. Secondly, boarding schools can bring a big assistance to parents who are at work virtually all day. It is quite easy to understand that they have to spend their day at work and leave their child at home under no observation is very dangerous. Last but not least, being at school all day can help children to be more sociable and dependent. These advantages are important to build up not solely the child's knowledge but also his personality.

By contrast, opposite point of view points out that frequently staying away from parents can terribly affect family life. This happens when the child is so dependent that they can take care of themselves and take away the chance for their parent to care for them. In long-term, family members will become less closed leading to ignorance between family members. Another issue is that if the child got bullied at school and be unable to express themselves to their parents, they might suffer from depression and grow up being a person with mental problems. Moreover, a part from academic knowledge, other aspects around the child are also important and can only being taught carefully, which can only be provided by the parents.

Overall, it seems advisable that letting children at school all day can benefit them. However, terrible consequences of the idea should be taken into account as well. Since parents cannot observe and protect their child at school, it is necessary to be around them more often to ensure that they are open to parents and willing to ask for help.

361 words