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Posts by Pettypet [Suspended]
Name: Petra Mariaria
Joined: Jan 14, 2022
Last Post: Dec 16, 2022
Threads: 4
Posts: 12  
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From: Kenya
School: University of Kabianga

Displayed posts: 16
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Pettypet   
Dec 16, 2022
Writing Feedback / [Writing Task 2] Social health care for the old and reasons [5]

You have answered the question of whether the society would be able to cope with the increase in the number of elderly people. I would suggest before explaining how the situation/issue can be managed you explain in a sentence or two why the society will gave a hard time coping.

Also, there are a few errors. Consider editing out the last sentence of the second paragraph
"...burden of the..." To "...burden on the..."
The last paragraph, Instead of saying," In a conclusion..." You could say, "In conclusion..."
Pettypet   
Dec 16, 2022
Letters / Applying for a Master's degree in computer science; MOTIVATIONAL LETTER [4]

Hello,
I would suggest editing the first sentence of your first paragraph. Instead of saying "My name is Bao - Huy Nguyen, and I am a research engineer at a..." You could instead phrase it as, "My name is Bao - Huy Nguyen, a research engineer at a..."

Other than that, I believe this is a good motivation letter.
Pettypet   
Dec 12, 2022
Scholarship / Study Plan- COMMONWEALTH SHARED SCHOLARSHIPS - the University of Cambridge [3]

Hello, kindly give insights and corrections on my Master's plan of study for the Commonwealth shared scholarships. Thank you in advance.

Prompt:

In 300 words, provide a detailed plan of your proposed study.


The selection panel will want to understand why you have selected your proposed course and university.

Describe clearly:
-Why you have chosen your proposed course and university and why you want to undertake this study in the UK
-What it is that you are looking for in a course and how your chosen course relates to your objectives
-Any dissertation topic you have in mind

According to QS ranking, the University of Cambridge is ranked third worldwide and is one of the top universities in the United Kingdom (UK) that offers MPhil in Population Health Sciences. The university has top researchers and experts who facilitate the course and offers students the unique opportunity for professional networking. It also offers students with exposure to global best practices. The course enables students to learn how to identify, monitor and assess risks to population health as well as plan, design, implement, and evaluate the impacts of intervention measures on population health. Studying in the UK is also ideal as it is a modern and safe country with many opportunities for scholars to practice their profession.

In the duration of my study, my research will be focused on climate change and health systems. I aim to understand the effects of climate change on health and health systems, the weaknesses of Kenya's health system and how it can be strengthened to become more sustainable and climate-resilient. I also aim to understand how health systems can be adapted to deal with climate change and its impacts on population health. Through this dissertation, I will gain research and analytical skills which will be useful in my quest to deeply understand my country's health needs and proffer solutions to the deficiencies that our health sector faces.

Upon the completion of this course, I intend to work in collaboration with research centres, and government and Non-governmental institutions to help develop a sustainable and climate-resilient health system with enhanced capacities to mitigate, protect and improve population health.
Pettypet   
Dec 12, 2022
Writing Feedback / Is money a true indicator of the success of a business? [3]

From my understanding of the question, I think it's asking whether money is a true indicator of the success of a business. Hence I would give reasons/detailed explanation of why it's a true indicator if I agree with the statement. If I think it's not a true indicator, I would give reasons as to why it's not a true indicator.
Pettypet   
Dec 12, 2022
Scholarship / Statement of purpose for pursuing a Bachelor of Computer Science in Hungary. [8]

You are applying for a scholarship in the computer science field hence I do not see how your prowess in cricket relates to why you want to pursue computer science. I think you should draft your letter based on what is pushing you to want to study computer science. It could be personal experience, interests or external factors.
Pettypet   
Oct 6, 2022
Letters / Mental health policies. Motivation letter for EuroPubHealth+ Erasmus Mundus Scholarship [4]

Hello Gustavo,
I think you should elaborate more on how your experiences with mental health issues has pushed you to wanting to venture more into that particular field. For instance giving an example of your mental health experience and how it gave you the urge to dive into mental health while linking your experience to what you want to achieve from the program.
Pettypet   
Sep 23, 2022
Scholarship / Public Health methods - CAREER PLAN - COMMONWEALTH SCHOLARSHIP [3]

Kindly advice on the following career plan.
Prompt:
-Objectives during the award.
-Career plans 5 years after award
-Long-term career goals.

CAREER PLAN essay

In the period of my award, I aim to gain knowledge and skills on Public Health methods and experience in the area of health policy and system management.

Some specific objectives that I also hope to achieve during this period include:
-To acquire soft skills such as networking, leadership, intercultural communication and team building through interactions with students from the departments and professionals in the Public Health field and the health industry in general.

-To attend at least one health conference and visit one health research institute in the UK.
-To visit some tourist attraction sites and get to appreciate the beauty of UK.

Five (5) years after my award, I shall strive to utilize the knowledge, skills and experiences gained to proffer solutions to Kenya's health problems by actively engaging in the formulation and implementation of policies that will facilitate the improvement of health systems and service delivery in the country. Being a student who derives satisfaction from helping others, I desire to offer counseling services to the youths aspiring to work in the health sector so as to help them identify their areas of interest and sensitize them about the challenges they might encounter within this field.

I also hope to work on the creation and implementation of National and local health programs that will spearhead preventive medicine.

My long-term career goal is to earn my PhD in Health Policy and Systems Management. This will give me the opportunity to not only interact with professors and policy makers around the world but also become a professor who will make significant contributions to the health sector in addition to tutoring young professionals in the Public Health field.

I also intend to be part of the Public Health Officers and Technician Council (PHOTC) to help implement changes in the Public Health sector that would see to an improvement in health service delivery and the population health. In addition, I want to work with the United Nations (UN) to assist in the provision of humanitarian aid to those living in marginalized areas whilst advocating for activities and interventions aimed at achieving the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs).

Last but not the least, I hope to engage in training young individuals to serve as advocates of good health and well-being through NGOs and government institutions like the health promotion centers
Pettypet   
Sep 23, 2022
Writing Feedback / Some individuals like to put more effort in their work [5]

Since the topic of discussion is why some people work harder in education and employment, I think the first paragraph contrasts the topic as you've mentioned that, "....... barely any individuals......put forth attempts....."

I also think that you can explain why people work hard in education, then explain in employment then tie the two to make the essay flow.
Pettypet   
Sep 23, 2022
Essays / Is it necessary to title our Personal Statement? [4]

I don't think it's absolutely necessary to title your personal statement. You may choose to do so though I don't think it has any implications. I believe it is more of personal preference as long as you keep the word count of your essay in mind.
Pettypet   
Sep 22, 2022
Scholarship / COMMONWEALTH SCHOLARSHIP: Development Impact statement [2]

Hello, I'm applying for the Commonwealth Scholarship and I would like to gain insights and feedback on my development impact statement and Career Plan. All feedbacks are welcome and hight appreciated.

Theme: Strengthening health systems and capacity

DEVELOPMENT IMPACT STATEMENT



How your proposed study relates to:
-Development issues at the global, national and local level
-Development issue connect to your chosen CSC theme and the wider sector.

The world faces many challenges that hinder the assurance of the health and security of all individuals. These challenges include inadequate funding, political unwillingness to support the public health sector and the burden of emerging and re-emerging diseases.

In Kenya, weak health systems characterized by inadequate health infrastructure, personnel, financial resources, and poor health policies has resulted to distribution inequalities and underutilization of health services. The burden of communicable and non-communicable diseases also continues to grapple the health systems further. In addition, poverty, famine, air pollution, increase in road accidents, mental health concerns, and the covid-19 pandemic have resulted to negative effects on the population's health thus hindering economic development which in turn has derailed the realization of Sustainable Development Goal 3, "Good health and well-being."

It is due to these reasons that I am applying for the Commonwealth Scholarship to pursue a Master's in Public Health in order to gain the knowledge and skills to help me identify the root cause of the deficiencies in the health sector and provide solutions that will improve not only the health systems but also the health of Kenyans.

How you intend to apply your new skills and qualifications when you return home

Upon my return to Kenya, I will work in collaboration with government institutions to conduct research on the key causes of health system deficiencies experienced in the country and tailor solutions to address the identified problems. I will also work towards formulating and implementing health policies and programs that will facilitate the uptake of preventive medicine and improve health service delivery in Kenya.

I will also use the gained skills to advocate for additional funding and support from both the government and NGOs to facilitate Public Health intervention measures at the local, county and national levels.

One at a time.
Pettypet   
Jan 14, 2022
Letters / Stipendium Hungaricum Scholarship Motivation Letter- Msc in Public Health at Debrecen [3]

Stipendium Hungaricum letter of motivation



Hi everyone.
Kindly help me review my motivation letter for the Stipendium Hungaricum Scholarship. All views and opinions will be highly appreciated.

Here it goes.

Dear Selection Committee,

Having just graduated from the University of Kabianga, I write this letter to express my interest in applying for the Master's Stipendium Hungaricum Scholarship program in Public Health at the University of Debrecen starting in September 2022.

I got a deeper understanding and even a burning passion on how Public Health plays a key role in the healthy living of people during my first attachment at a health centre in Kakamega County, Kenya. My interaction with the locals helped me comprehend the deficiency of a stable Public Health system in the country, therefore, fuelling my passion to address this main problem. Additionally, during my internship at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport (JKIA), I got to interact with Port Health Officers and learned that most Port Health Officers are professionals from other slightly similar fields like nursing acting as Public Health Officers.

I believe that a well-informed Public Health Official at the table can be able to bring change and improve the current situation. This has been my motivation to further my studies in the Public Health field so that I can be able to learn the aspects of health policy and management, health systems, and also be a force of change in the local, county, and national government in my country.

I chose the University of Debrecen as my preferred institution to pursue this program as it is known as one of the best universities in Hungary that offers Public Health and has top researchers and experts who facilitate the course. The program is taught through collaboration between academics with world-class expertise and allows students to learn how to monitor public health problems as well as plan, implement and evaluate possible solutions to the identified problems. Studying in this university also offers opportunities for professional networking which will help me grow my network. Pursuing this Master's degree will not only equip me with knowledge but also open my vision more about preventive healthcare. I also intend to learn the Hungarian language and culture to break the barriers between me and the locals.

At the end of my study, I believe that I can use the knowledge and skills gained to contribute to the improvement and development of the Public Health Sector in my country and help find solutions to the inefficiencies experienced.

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your response.

Yours Faithfully,
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