Writing Feedback / Not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. Why? Effects on society [2]

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries.

Why? What will be effects on society?

In contemporary world, some countries have witnessed a shortage of students opting for science curriculum in colleges. There are two principal reasons resulting in this phenomenon, and it would have some notable impacts on society.

The first cause which discourages youngsters from enrolling in science subjects is low earning potential. In some countries, workers working for science fields would be not only controlled by the government, but they also receive salaries from it, which are not high as from private or multinational corporations. For example, according to the survey in 2021, some Vietnam's scientists researching agriculture or forest gained a monthly amount of 10 million Vietnamese Dong, which was insufficient to meet all basic demands in their lives. Secondly, some education systems produce ineffective outcomes. To be precise, exam-driven curriculum in some states does not provide learners with hands-on experiences, which deprives them of several opportunities to apply for high-profile organizations or lets them face confusion at work.

Regarding significant impacts, firstly, this tendency leads to a strong reduction of beneficial initiatives satisfying the population's needs. For instance, if the authorities make a decision on create viable solutions to deal with consequences of climate change, this could be impossible to be undertaken due to a lack of qualified scientists who refuse the government's low financial investment. The second impact is the administration's weakened credibility in society. For example, civilians tend to believe in science field of other countries because their universities attract a high number of outstanding students over the world. Thereby, they would consume science's products produced by those countries rather than their ones.

In conclusion, low income and inappropriate university course prevent a large number of students from accessing to science subjects in several nations. Consequently, this leads to a shortage of qualified employees in those countries, and lessen their credibility in society.

Writing Feedback / The bar charts show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in 2001 [3]

TIME SPENT ON TEACHING

The bar charts compare how each teacher in different four countries spent time teaching in three schools in the year 2001. Overall, in four nations, the figures for teaching hours in upper secondary schools were at the highest levels, while those in primary schools were the lowest.

Regarding upper secondary schools, each American teacher spent roughly 1200 hours on teaching, compared with 900 hours spent by the Icelandish or the Spanish one. By contrast, the number of teaching hours in Japan was the lowest at 700. In lower secondary schools, 900 hours were spent by the American teacher, which was 1.5 times higher than the figure recorded in Iceland. The teaching hours in Spain and Japan were 800 and 650 respectively.

Concerning primary schools, the number of teaching hours was the lowest compared with the other schools in four states. 600 hours were surveyed in Japan and Iceland, which were 50 hours lower than the figures in Spain and the USA. Additionally, the teaching hours spent by the Japanese teacher were always lower those surveyed by the teacher in Spain, Iceland and America.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / The map illustrate the transformation of the ground floor of a specific building from 1958 until now [3]

The plan shows how the ground floor of a building has changed over the time

The maps illustrate the transformation of the ground floor of a specific building from 1958 until now. Overall, the ground floor has changed to align with building's different purposes in three periods. Moreover, the number of rooms constructed has declined over the time.

In the west of the building, the office using this area from 1958 to 1984 erected three rooms which were meeting room, assistant's office and secretary's office respectively. Moreover, there was a toilet at the bottom left-hand corner. However, during 15 years since 1985, all the previous rooms on the left-hand side were replaced by two main rooms. The working rooms were removed to build a living room, and toilet was expanded for the purpose of bathroom and shower. From 2001 until now, with the appearance of a flower shop, while the bathroom and shower has turned into a play area, the living room has been reduced in size to give place to flower area and a gift cards.

In the east of the building, there were the kitchen, the manager office and the recception arena along the left corridor during 26 years until 1984. In the next stage, two bedrooms were constructed to replace the manager room and reception zone. Lastly, after being turned into a flower shop in 2001, although this shop has still remained the kitchen in the old region, the bedroom 2 has been removed to display flowers and an office has replaced the bedroom 1.

Can you comment on my thread and estimate its score? Thank you!

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / There have been more consumers using sugary beverages; it could be addressed by some viable measures [7]

People are consuming more sugar-based drinks.

Why? What can be done to reduce?

It is believed that there have been more consumers using sugary beverages. While buying sugary drinks results from many reasons, it could be addressed by some viable measures.

One of the causes of consuming sweet drinks among the people is its advantage to mood and emotion. To be precise, sugary products contribute greatly to relieving stress and negative feelings because they contain some substances producing a happy hormone. Thus, many customers, who have been under pressure at work for example, tend to purchase more sugar-based drinks as a benefical way to deprive them of harmful feelings. Additionally, the habit of buying sugar-based drinks is directly impacted by advertisements. For instance, some drinks companies take advantage of social networks to introduce media sweet coverage to the purchasers. Thanks to AI-powered tools, the platforms such as Facebook or Instagram would recommend these advertisements to the users on a daily basis, and it is possible for their shopping habits to be changed.

In order to tackle this situation, the government should introduce restrictions on consumption through some practical actions such as raising taxes on sugar-based drinks or discouraging advertisements of sweet products from being broadcasted. Furthermore, the drinks corporations should focus more on healthy drinks, particularly smoothies, yogurts or fruit juices. Simutaneously, it is necessary for the offices, working places to open yoga classes after work or workout regulations as a step to ease their employees' stress.

In conclusion, whereas consuming sugary drinks among the people is rendered by many causes, some steps would be taken to reduce it. It it recommended that the government and the companies should cooperate to deal with this phenomenon.

(272 words)