Undergraduate / Notre Dame Supplement Essay: "Martian Log 20A1, Come In Star Command" [3]

Please review my essay and feel free to critique as harshly as you can. In return, I can read yours and make my comments. Thank you!

P.S. Notre Dame is a Catholic school

1. The Rev. John I. Jenkins, C.S.C., President of the University of Notre Dame, said in his Inaugural Address that, "If we are afraid to be different from the world, how can we make a difference in the world?" In what way do you feel you are different from your peers, and how will this shape your contribution to the Notre Dame community?

I once thought I was living on Mars. The culture of Southridge gentlemen was an enigma to humans. We celebrated more masses in one month than any other school within our quaint Philippine town. Southridge gentlemen were indeed a profoundly spiritual society.

Nevertheless, our way of life was not too distinct from the earthly inhabitants', since we, too, needed to eat, sleep and be upright citizens-all the norms of social living creatures. While humans existed to survive, however, the school decided that the purpose of its students was to go beyond the natural; to live for the supernatural. Under the guidance of my alma mater, I fostered a love for God, a deep nostalgia for the master who brought this universe to being.

And, why do our fellows not see the value of this spiritual life, we questioned? In light of this inquiry, we were disciplined to lead good example and trained to bring Christ to others.

Since Southridge School was nestled at the heart of the modest town of Alabang, we were primarily focused on making an impact within our small community. However, when I was teleported from planet Mars to the United States, I knew I was to breathe in an atmosphere composed of truly foreign gases. Here, religion is just a Sunday option for the majority. It may just be a personal speculation. But, with such diversity in this environment, I can honestly admit it does not feel like home at all.

My humanity is not unique, but my lifestyle is because it is inspired by Christ, the "Catholic"-universal-God. Among my peers in school, I alone greet my teachers "hello" and "good-bye" with courtesy; I alone make the effort to pick up litter, even if it belongs not to me, and throw it away; I alone search for the Lord at different times during the day. Of course, this is not to congratulate myself. But, still, one would beg the question: why do our fellows not see the value of this spiritual life?

As I behave in my native alien culture, I receive ridicule from those who do not understand the implications of Christian conduct. On the other hand, a few received the message I brought to them wholeheartedly. When they slowly came to this appreciation, these people have become intimate companions. I believe that through sincere friendship, Christ has arrived at the door to their hearts; through a rusty and disposable metal key as me, the Lord can enter. As just a mere instrument, however, I need not do anything flamboyant or unusually ecstatic. I should just continue being human, getting to know my friends and becoming a person they can admire, but, above all, trust.

This is who I can bring to the Notre Dame community: God. Of course, a profound longing to understand the physical world in its metaphysical purpose leads me to pursue a profession in physics and a personal occupation in philosophy. Therefore, I bring another individual desperate to become the next Einstein. But, how many other Einstein wannabes are there? A mere few, perhaps.

Truly, however, as a servant of Christ, I wish to share way, truth and life with my future peers at the University of Notre Dame. I believe that, in light of the enthusiasm of the Messiah's beneficiaries to spread the good news, for they "were saved" (the blind, the mute, the deaf, the possessed, the sinful, the dishonest, the dead of Israel), if I truly love the people around me, I should share the joy of Christ with others; I must help them come to understand the prime value of the spiritual life, a personal outlook which is so rare in our postmodern society that those who lead it are mistaken for aliens. I truly believe that my enrollment would strengthen the diversity at Notre Dame. Besides, colleges have never accepted Martians to their school before.

Undergraduate / Describe the world you come from--MIT Prompt. "Cascade as I Become More Curious" [2]

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?

Why is the sky blue?

Why do I have an attraction for the girl next to me?

Why am I here?

My world indeed is a waterfall. Questions constantly cascade upon me, leaving me drenched in my own curiosity. For instance, when, on another bright afternoon of Physics, I caught myself wondering why the enormous heaven is immensely blue, I curiously interrupted the teacher, even if the lecture was different from "sky" or "color".

I yearn for knowledge of both the physical world and the forces that act upon it. All these questions begin with "why", but not all of them lend their answers nicely. I can easily find the answer to the changing color of the sky in the waves of light it refracts. As I mature further into adulthood, however, the questions increase in complexity. Why am I here wondering about the sky...Why am I here?

Where will I find the answer to that?

I have come to understand that, ostensibly, these questions will not find answers here on earth. I need to discover what lies beyond the turquoise gate of this prison-like orb. As a physicist and a philosopher, I know I will have a better sense of the universe, both in its physical and metaphysical natures. Questions fall in small beads but come together and drench me heavily into deeper curiosity. As a human being, I will never have knowledge of everything. But, as an individual drowning in cold curiosity, I need to dry up occasionally, too.

Undergraduate / Tell us about a time you used your creativity...(MIT) "Acting Out Desiderata" [3]

Tell us about a time you used your creativity. This could be something you made, a project that you led, an idea that you came up with, or pretty much anything else. (200-250 Words)

In spite of my insignificant miseries, I find solace and peace in prayer. As I allow the inert heap of mass that is my body to sink deeper into silence, I gradually come upon the truth. The truth will set you free, they say. And, as I listen to the voice of God in my heart, I discover happiness I vainly pursue in the secular world.

It is difficult for humanity to understand the prime value of prayer especially in this age of post-industrialism when we are all afraid of the intrusion of religion in our lives. Usually we are more docile only if doctrines benefit the individual, or are ludicrously entertaining...

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence." God whispered to man on the trillionth day of creation. For five minutes in front of an audience of AP Literature scholars, I was master of the universe. And, my friend, Vikalp, with his incredible ability to feign excessive gregariousness, played a soul lost in pure worldliness. Together, we served to our peers the message of Max Ehrmann's poem, Desiderata, in a platter of pure drama and entertainment.

Looking Vikalp in the eye as God pulls him from the ground at the last stanza, I was about ready to finish the skit.

Astonishingly, as we closed, the students saved the applause, though everyone nodded at the actors, smiling at us wholeheartedly and sincerely-one could tell. Perhaps they, too, realized that it was more peaceful silent.

Undergraduate / Planting a Win-win Attitude--UC Prompt #2 personal statement [3]

This is my UC Prompt 2 personal statement. I might consider this for the Common App under "topic of your choice". I hope you can tell me if this piece is effective in answering the prompt. I'd appreciate your comments and suggestions. Thank you.

Happy 4 days after Thanksgiving,
tommy-j

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

"Thank you, Mr. Holland!" the large banner of the student's gratitude shouted within the confines of the 60 inch projector screen. While Shannon, my seatmate, thought I was watching Mr. Holland's Opus critically with the rest of our Lit through Film class, all along I was in a theater inside me, enjoying memories of my own similar to Mr. Holland's.

In July 2009, one of the Indian folks I played basketball with on sunny Saturday mornings approached me after an exhausting run. "Hey, Roy, remember you said you could teach the boys how to play basketball?" Mr. Aravind, the tall, respectable Indian father reminded me. Quite frankly, I did say I taught basketball; and, by "boys", my elderly companion meant their kids-his and the other Indian fathers' young 4th graders. Seeing as I already had a clear idea of my objective as a coach, I began soon the following Monday.

Just as an artist paints with vibrant colors to deliver his message appealingly to an unknown audience, I knew basketball was a means for me to build character in my students. There had been increasing complaints around our conservative community about a deteriorating sense of respect among the youth. Similarly, it grew more interestingly apparent that, while they better spent their free time playing basketball, these kids were arrogant and cause a lot of trouble. I frequently come upon these boys at the court with their parents. The expressions of stress and disappointment on the mothers' faces proved my assumptions right.

I assumed a lot of things about these 4th graders; however, I did not assume they were still docile. On one session, Tegias, my star student, and the less-skilled D were playing one-on-one. Tegias, who was taller and quicker than D, hardly needed any effort in shooting the ball or driving by his opponent. D, on the contrary, could do nothing more than to defend vainly. I sympathized for the poor fellow. After another victory for Tegias, I called time-out, pulling the game winner aside.

"Buddy, have you heard of 'thinking win-win' before?" I asked in a smiling whisper. The boy swung his innocent little head sideways; he had no clue what it was.

"It's like this: when you already know your own abilities, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. See, both you fellas can have a really good time if you let him win. You know you're already good at this, so, essentially, you've won already! If you let him win, you'll both be winners, right?"

"Ok, coach, I'll try it out." Tegias nodded cheerfully, returning afterward to his game with D. After the session, the two friends left the court feeling rewarded. For the first time, D told me, "That was a great run, Coach R!"

The following Saturday, Tegias came with his father to our usual morning sports activity. After another tiring full-court game of 16 points, the young man approached me and said something of quite the surprise.

"Hey, Roy, I tried that win-win thing when I played with my other friend at the courts by the middle school. It was different this time because we didn't fight afterward. I don't know...I thought I'd just tell you... Thanks, coach!"

Now, as I was watching the closing scene of the inspiring film on the screen, I was not envious of Mr. Holland who received the world's attention for his grand contributions to his students. "Thanks coach" was enough for me. Besides, it was only the first step. However, that definitely was a giant leap for the youth in my community.

Undergraduate / "I want to explore space." - (UC Prompt #1) [2]

I hope you can look over my short essay. I would appreciate your comments and feedback as well.

tommy-j

Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

It occurred to me in 1st grade that the yearbook committee asked a question to which they wanted only one answer. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" When the yearbooks were finally handed out, from A-Z, all 1st graders claimed to have aspirations in medicine. Indeed, my old school in the *********** produced successful professionals; but, it raised young men to be afraid of the world, kept safe in boxed surroundings. Although I timidly replied "sir, a doctor", I knew I hesitated to say so.

I was a young mind filled with curiosity. Around me were toys, gadgets, computers and, most of all, tools. It was my favorite pastime to dismantle my Pentium III PC and listen to the orchestra of minute beeps, flashing with lights of green, yellow and red, play within the theatrical computer unit. Closely working with computing machines allowed me to understand their culture. I soon had the ability to tell the problem with a computer just by the sounds it made. In hindsight, perhaps I did aspire to be a doctor: one that treated electronic patients.

Unfortunately, the *********** provided limited opportunities for computer enthusiasts. My family's immigration to the United States, however, changed the circumstances and opened new possibilities for me to follow my interests. American education, the philosophy of which was "learn by doing", strictly contrasted the beliefs of my previous school. Whereas my new high school offered an interactive Robotics class to students wanting to pursue a career in engineering, my old box of comfort taught the existence of such robots, but left fantasy to explain the rest. When I took Robotics at ********* ******, I finally found a sincere answer to the question I was asked coercively nine years earlier.

In truth, I still am grateful to my previous school for providing me a horizon to which I can contrast my adventurous spirit. The box of comfort was teeming claustrophobically with individuals wanting to become doctors. My interests in computers, in tools and electronic machines suffocated in that environment. I prefer not having limits to my abilities. What do I want to be when I grow up? I want to become an aerospace engineer because I would like to take the computers, the electronics and my ideas beyond what can be physically seen. I want to explore space. I am individualistic. And, as it has always been, I am curious.