Undergraduate / Extra Curricular ( Common App) 150 Word Response [3]

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

I think its weak :/
help?

The environmental club is committed to informing the community of hazardous threats to the environment as well as having weekly local cleanups. I joined the club my sophomore year and often assisted the president planning the agenda for the meetings. My junior year, I was elected as the junior representative. My job was to inform the junior class of any upcoming events and also plan and prepare events for the juniors. I planned a successful beach cleanup where we filled over thirty bags of trash. I was elected president my senior year and it has been the most successful year. I was able to increase membership from twenty to over forty. Since I have joined, I have spent most of my Saturdays cleaning up beaches. I have made an effort to incorporate everyone in the club as equal members of a team, therefore, maximizing our influence in the community.

Undergraduate / Cornell; intellectual interests - new journey in life [3]

School of Industrial and Labor Relations:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. In your essay please address how the ILR curriculum will help you fulfill these interests and your long-term goals.

I am not the strongest Cornell applicant so I need my essay to be outstanding.
May someone please revise my essay

Growing up in a low-income community, I have seen how working class families have struggled to maintain a living as a result of their lack of education. I have seen how the types of jobs families have affect the types of lives they have. Though I saw it played out in my community, I never realized that these struggles go beyond my own. During the 2008 presidential election, I kept up with every bit of election news and constantly heard about layoffs, jobs shipped over seas, and the current economic crisis. While watching a political rally, I clearly remember the speech during the rally on how economic crisis is hurting the average Joe. When Obama spoke about the average Joe's struggles, I was reminded of the struggles in my community where it is difficult to maintain a living. At that particular moment, I saw a clear connection; the work force is directly related to the growth of economy. My involvement in economic summits has showed me how the work force can determine every aspect of a country, from literacy rate to life expectancy. In order to improve a country, it is indeed crucial to improve the work force. And with the current economic crisis, I realize that there is still so much to do. But now I feel that I must begin a new journey in life, one that will have me improve the world that surrounds me.

My goal is to attend Cornell University's College of Industrial and Labor Relations, an academic community that will facilitate the exchange of knowledge in a close-knit environment through interaction with professors and peers. The curriculum will help me broaden my perspective in decision making and improve my intellectual thinking which will allow me to analyze complicated labor problems. I am also presented with the opportunity to be involved in internship programs that will enhance my understanding of the field I will be working in, which in my case would be public policy. I aspire to attend a universitythat will allow me to study deeper roots of labor relations; Cornell's labor relations curriculum expands its courses into deeper courses from U.S. Labor History to a Course in Western Intellectual Tradition. I will have a strong understanding of business, politics, and history which will open many opportunities. I plan to attend law school and pursue a career as a politician, but in order to do that, it is important to understand the roots of society; the work force.

Undergraduate / How Were You Caught? 'being caught into the politics' [6]

Essay Option 1.How did you get caught? (Or not caught, as the case may be.)
Inspired by Kelly Kennedy, a fourth-year in the College.

I'm hoping that my essay will REALLY give me an advantage over other applicants.
May someone please tell revise my essay and let me know if it will stand out?

Any comments or advice will be appreciated :)

After the wave of patriotism swept the country following September eleventh, my family started watching the news more often and I would always watch late night news with them. While watching the news many questions emerged in my head regarding the mysterious globe we live in, such as "Why are we at war", and "why are people dying". As time progressed, my curiosity grew at an immeasurable rate. A whole new world had been introduced to me. The world of the perceived post 9/11 terror threat had a big psychological effect on my young mind. The fear of being victim of an attack constantly followed me. I would refuse to get on an airplane, I was wary of going inside a sky scraper and at one point I even had the fear of going on public transportation. The fears grew and the media intensified them. However, I soon learned to analyze certain issues rather than be drawn by fear and I began applying this to my everyday life. As months past, I actively watched the news and kept up with current events. At times I became frustrated and scared with world problems often blaming others for these problems. By actively watching the news at age eleven, I gained an understanding how politics work. Although I would often be confused by the complexity of the issues, I attempted to formulate solutions to current events, read political articles and listen to political speeches. My interest in politics soon began to shape me. I began keeping up with politics as if it were a sporting event. Since it is not the most popular topic, I had a difficult time having a good conversation with my classmates. After all, the only thing interesting to me was politics. I realized that I like something different than most people in my community. My life had forever been changed. At that moment I realized, I had been caught into the world of politics.

By being caught into the politics, I have therefore grown to understand how politics can influence the people as well as the world. I recognize that our world is bitterly divided on ideologies and that there will always be view points contrary to my own. I now love to analyze the situations arising from diplomatic disagreements and how each global leader try to play and turn each situation to his country's advantage, while making the most of the political career. The political mindset that has contributed to my personal growth has encouraged me to do more than sit in front of my television screen watching the news. I live in a country that allows anyone to become involved in politics. And I look forward to taking advantage of that. This political mindset continues to follow me; it is a feature that I seek to hold for the rest of my life. The issues that worried me and had me constantly watching the news are issues that I will one day solve.

Undergraduate / Cornell University (College of Arts and Sciences Supplement) [3]

College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

This is my first draft, please revise.
Its short between 300-400 words

Max 500 words

Should I stick with the international relations issue or talk about all the branches of politics?

Living in the immeasurable world, the world seemed so beautiful and adventurous, until I realized the reality of the world. After September eleventh, my family started watching the news more often and I would always watch late night news with them. Many questions emerged in my head about the mysterious globe we live in while watching the news regarding such as " Why are we at war", "why did they blow up the car" and "why are people dying" . As I grew up, my curiosity grew. Unlike most middle school kids, I liked watching the news but constantly watching the news showed me that there are many problems in my community and the world just waiting to be solved.

By watching the news at a young age, I gained an understanding how politics work. I soon applied that understanding to my every day life. At times I became frustrated with my majors lack of work as well as the Bush administrations foreign policy, but these frustrations gave me an idea. I could be the mayor or the president making those decisions the proper way. Ever since I became aware of the world, I have wanted the best for my country, but there are so many barriers such as politicians catering to special interest group as well as corruption. The government has yet to do something about these barriers. But why complain about the government when I live in a country that allows anyone to become involved in politics. With my involvement in politics, I can fix the issues rather than complain in front of my televisions screen about them. I am seeking to study at Cornell University's College of Arts and Sciences so I can further my understanding of politics. I can study American politics, comparative and international relations, all which will prepare me for the world of politics. I look for a college that will allow me to study deeper roots of government; Cornell's Government major expands its courses into deeper ranges from economics to sociology, and to international politics. I am also presented with the opportunity to concentrate in a specific part of Government, which in my case would be international relations. With classes such as International Law, Ethics in International Relations and Comparative Foreign Policy, I will be able to further my passion for politics.