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Posts by PrettyBoyu
Joined: Dec 16, 2009
Last Post: Jan 11, 2010
Threads: 4
Posts: 19  

From: Singapore

Displayed posts: 23
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PrettyBoyu   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / Lafayette - intellectual or creative interest or accomplishment [6]

hey sorry to sat that but i am not very impressed by your essay
The college asks your to tell your accomplishment and interest
It seems like you write so few that people may ignore your main point

What is your interest actually?
PrettyBoyu   
Dec 27, 2009
Undergraduate / bates supplement - how to highlight vitality? [9]

i am stuck on this essay too
I want to say how my experience can increase the diversity of Bates community ,but i found it a little bit cliche...
PrettyBoyu   
Dec 26, 2009
Undergraduate / Trinity College essay (how will u free the mind of prejudice) [2]

When I arrived at the cosmopolitan Singapore, I was just a conservative Chinese student from a small and remote southwest city of China. I even disliked foreigners because of what I learned from History lectures that China has been occupied by foreign countries decades of years ago. Meanwhile, from my parents and friends, I knew far more about China's countryside and the peripheral counties than the outer world.

Involved in the huge melting pot of numerous races of Singapore, I discovered many things I had known little. The colorful new land opened its gate to me and said, welcome to my world! However, the ingrained traditional education I had received from the very start refused to say "goodbye" to my fresh impression. Just like this, traditional ideology and modern conceptions flooded and rivaled in me. Luckily, I was not unusual at all in Singapore - a country itself permeating with so many distinctive cultures. I henceforth embarked on my cultural tour.

What's it like when Singaporean, Indonesian, Malaysian, Brunei, Indian, Chinese and Taiwanese get together, although we have the same skin and hair color and we are all Chinese. However, due to our different mother tongues as well as world and life views coming from our different education backgrounds, barriers do exist between us. The first time I stepped up to greet a fellow student who looks exactly like Chinese in Mandarin, what I got was only a response in lame Chinese mixed with proficient English. Since then, I tried to observe their growing environments and cultural backgrounds before communicating and identifying with them.

As time passed by, I started to get involved other than just being understood. On the special Racial Harmony Day of Singapore, I enrolled in Indian Cultural Festival. On that day, I wore traditional Indian costume, learned to dance Indian dances and cook curry-flavored dishes, watched Bollywood films, drinking in the freshness and joy of experiencing another culture. Nice Indian friends also told me about their own unique scenic spots and customs, previous to which I knew nothing about India except it has the second largest population. By and by, I learned to say hi in Malaysian English, Australian English, Liverpool English and Vietnamese English. And when I greeted my best Hong Kong friend in Cantonese, he would gave me a kind smile; at the same time he would try correcting my not that standard pronunciation and beg me to teach him Mandarin.

My two years in Singapore elapsed quickly. The twenty students of our class came from 9 different countries, which enlivened our classes to the utmost. The sparks produced by the collision of different thoughts and cognitions tinted with different cultural backgrounds and education styles could always spice up the classroom discussion, leading our thinking afar. Little by little, I grew into a mature boy open to new cultures from the former biased and alienated kid. I will also size up every seemingly strange thing or person with a good-willed eye and think it is OK to be different.

And now I still live with the unique habit of Chinese and know Chinese culture and customs much better than that of other countries; I still love my hometown hotpot and will miss eating moon cake on Mid-autumn Day; and I will still pay visits to the aged during spring festivals. However, I was no longer the deliberate, strict and conservative kid. The mixture of different cultures is just like countless little fractionlets in kaleidoscope. With them, this world is colored up with diverse shapes and forms.
PrettyBoyu   
Dec 26, 2009
Undergraduate / Reed Supplementary - Why Reed Essay [3]

i think u can eliminate something in your paragraph,it is too awkward.
U can try to make your essay shorter.
Overall a great essay!
PrettyBoyu   
Dec 17, 2009
Undergraduate / "Never Give Up On Yourself" - My Common Essay (i think it is awkward) [18]

thanx a lot buddy . i really appreciate your effort to help me
This is not the significant experience essay ,instead i just want to tell the admission officer some of my experiences
so is that fine cos i always try to focus on one point but find that these experiences made up my life that it is hard for me to eliminate any of them...anyway,i will try to revise it again

any more advice?

Sincerely
Boyu
PrettyBoyu   
Dec 16, 2009
Undergraduate / "Go to Play Basketball" - how will u contribute to our school [4]

Go to Play Basketball
Basketball is my passion, my companion as well as my mentor. I have a foggy memory of how basketball first came into my life. It was a boring afternoon and I was feeling listless, when a classmate said to me, "Hey! Want to play a ball game?" "What game?" I replied. "Basketball. Come on!" The beginning to one of the most fascinating journeys of my life happened like this, plainly and ordinarily just like any other trifling incident. However, despite having no special beginning, the progress I have made because of basketball has gone far beyond the expectations that I had that afternoon.

Seven years later, basketball has become an important part of my life. From point guard to forward, from a member to the leader, and from China to Singapore, I have learnt much from basketball.

What really matters is not individual scores but cooperation with teammates for victory
Being tall with great physical flexibility, I was regarded as a basketball talent. But when I first started playing basketball, I was so impetuous that I would sprint towards the hoop as soon as I got the ball. In this way, I turned my back on an important factor of basketball, cooperation with one's teammates. As a result, I would not only score very few points but also receive complaints from others. As time went by and my performance went from bad to worse, it dawned on me that cooperation and teamwork were the core of a group. Only through cooperation can a group demonstrate its full potential. And this is why I say that basketball has taught me to pay due attention to my peers and treat them with more respect.

Ball is to court what dream is to life. One has to strive and fight hard if he or she wants to hit the mark

I have great respect and admiration for what Chris Gardner said to his son in the movie The Pursuit of Happiness: "You got a dream, you gotta protect it." I personally feel that this sentence is very applicable to me because before I began playing basketball, I performed dismally at other contact sports. However, when I fell in love with basketball, I came to realize that I had to struggle for opportunities by myself. Without putting up a fight, I could only accept my own failure in the end.

Not until the final second can one find out who is the winner
In the years that I stayed in mainland China and Singapore, my schedule was swamped with basketball competitions with other schools and countries. One thing I learnt was that no matter how strong the opponent is, the victor is only declared after the match. In the final few seconds, even the underdog who persists and pushes harder can easily take the victory. Indeed, this is a reflection of our daily life. Just like my two-year stint in Singapore, perseverance has paid off: I managed to assimilate successfully into Singaporean culture, rid my spoken English of its Szechuan accent, organize multiple basketball matches in spite of numerous obstacles, and convince the teacher to infuse Confucianism into his lecture.

Basketball has played a significant role and exerted a positive influence on my life over the past seven years. I believe that this influence will carry in the years to come. Hopefully, my journey to my aspirations will arc in a beautiful curve in the sky and finally hit the target with resounding blow of perseverance, conviction and cooperation.
PrettyBoyu   
Dec 16, 2009
Undergraduate / Hamilton College Book review(pls help me to revise it thanx) [5]

RUN

I first read FORREST GUMP by Winston Groom when I was in secondary school and did not give it much afterthought. However, after re-reading it numerous times in recent years, I find myself deeply fascinated with the fool from Alabama. Gump whose IQ is only 75 has taught me much about my direction on the road of life.

A feather floats groggily in the air, finally coming to rest at the foot of Forrest Gump. Gump is sitting on a bench in Alabama narrating his life story to fellow passengers who are waiting for the bus. He says:"Let me say this: being an idiot is no box of chocolates. People laugh, lose patience, treat you shabby. Even so, I got no complaints, cause I reckon I do live a pretty interesting life, so to speak." This first sentence of the novel has keynoted the book as a satire on society. Throughout the novel, Gump never stops his inane behaviors against the grain of the complicated society he lives in.

Gump lives a simple life without stress, vexation or jealousy, just like the floating feather that does not know its destination. The feather floats up and down, just like our life; but along with the wind and rain, it has to fall at some point, just like many things are out of Gump's control: his congenital disabilities (intellectual and physical), mockery and ridicule from others at his single-parent family, his first sexual experience with Ms. French he does not love instead of his beloved Jenny, a dropout because of his grade "F" on Sports Theory, the death of his comrade in arms etc. Gump has been dealt as one of the worst possible hands in life. Yet, astonishingly, he does not grumble or gripe, but simply says, "I got no complaints."

Despite his disabilities, Gump still finds something he can do. In the process, Gump focuses all his limited wisdom, belief and courage on the way forward and runs blindly, led only by his intuition. Among a shower of stones from his bullies, he runs away from their laughter; along with curses from his coach, he runs across the football field; amidst a hailstorm of bullets, he runs through the thickets of Vietnam; accompanied by religiously fanatic followers, he runs across America on a whim. He insists on what he thinks is right; that is the only belief he upholds. Gump's determination in his belief is his finest virtue: if one complies with it, then everything will go well; if one goes against it, something terrible might happen. Such a simple and perseverant attitude towards life is the strongest evidence of his savant-like wisdom.

Near the end of the novel, Gump says, "I still got dreams like anybody else, an ever so often, I am thinking about how things might have been." Although there are no solutions to some problems, it does not matter too much. Time is always ticking away ruthlessly; it urges us not to waste too much of it pondering.

Throughout the years, I have modeled my life after Gump's. Though my IQ is 138, nearly twice that of Gump's, I am more than willing to learn from him. From China to Singapore and then America, I have never given up pursuing my dreams. Although there have been and will be many setbacks along this journey, I am sure it will end favorably as long as I never forget to keep running towards my destination.

It is unnecessary for us to live an over-complicated life, and impossible to plan our every step like a chess game as anything can happen in an instant. I believe in moving forward firmly, and letting the rest go with the wind.
PrettyBoyu   
Dec 16, 2009
Undergraduate / "Never Give Up On Yourself" - My Common Essay (i think it is awkward) [18]

Suspended for leaving useless feedback

Pls be brutal to leave comments...
I need to help,thanx
This essay is too long,i hope it can be shorter with you guys help
Thanx

Never Give Up On Yourself

Forewords: Standing on the busy streets of Singapore, I feel refreshingly at ease. Life here might be difficult, but I will never again lose myself in the criticisms of others.

In my early memory my father worked out of hometown and seldom returned Sichuan, where I lived together with my mother. Back then, I was an underachiever who would consistently get poor grades. Some students laughed at me and branded me a fool. Annoyed with their constant ribbing, I often got into fights. My teachers were so disappointed that they called my mother time and time again.

However, one life-changing incident remains fresh in my mind. One day, the teacher suggested my mother transfer me to a school for retarded children. Between sobs, my mother begged the teacher to give me one last chance. As advised, I took an IQ test. But the result concluded that my IQ is 138. It appeared that I had turned to a whiz kid overnight! From then on, I learnt to study hard and complete homework on time. Day after day, I transformed from a bad boy to a good one.

In the middle school entrance exam, as the only student to get a perfect score, I was an absolutely a good student in my teachers' eyes. It seems as if a fresh door was opened for me. With a good attitude, I listened to teachers carefully, never quarreled with others or missed a class. When others were struggling to enter top100 of the cohort, I stayed in first place with no trouble. I deeply cherished the constant attention from my teachers and peers. I thought everything was smooth sailing from then on until something unexpected happened.

It was at the 8th grade. One night, while returning from basketball court, I saw two students trying to rape a girl. I hesitated for several seconds when teachers' warnings about not causing trouble in school swam into my mind. However, I knew I had to do what was right even if I had to suffer it. Striding forward angrily, I knocked the two low-lives to the ground with punches. Although I saved the girl, I never imagined that it would become so serious, especially when one of the students was the son of the principal. Things were spiraling out of control and I had to transfer. Yet, I never regretted the choice I made that night.

My parents meticulously selected the new school for me. In its most famous class of science, I could hardly clinch No.1 spot like before. To make matters worse, atmosphere in this new school was not good. Drinking and fighting was actually commonplace. Most students knew the reason for my transfer and would judge me as a bad student before they even knew me. All those gloomy days brought back my bad memories of primary school--I was not accepted and I was not confident. When I was alone, I would lapse into deep thoughts: How could a person be judged based on exam results or a biased account of an incident without intimate knowledge of that person himself?

In 9th grade, facing the oncoming final exam, Nobody would pay much attention to me. For the first time, I felt life was not arduous. This peaceful environment enabled me to see things objectively. I also read many biographies of successful people like Bill Gates and Michael Jordan. All of them mentioned self-worth. Gradually I understood--regarding one person, different people would have different opinions. Nobody, not even God, could get all of man's approval. I did not have to live for praise or honors. It was essential for me to do what I thought was right. After a roller coaster ride of ups and downs, I found the unwavering approval I was looking for came from within.

After the rat race that was middle school, I entered Hwachong Institution of Singapore with a full scholarship as the cream of the crop. My parents were so proud. However, I had learned to find balance in life, which allowed me to realize that I choose the way I live my life. Life is not dictated by a score, or by being No.1 in the cohort, or even by being the winner of a scholarship.

I will stick to my morals and be a person who will never deny me from myself.