Undergraduate /
John, my grandfather- Heritage Essay for Supplement [2]
If I am the sum total of all my experiences, than the story of my grandparents is worth relating. My grandfather, John Ayala Alonzo, was born in 1934 to Roman and Maria Alonzo. After the death of Maria's first husband, she met Roman. She was ten years his senior. Maria had already raised six children by her first husband, although many had died. At age forty-two, she gave birth to my grandfather. John was to be her last and only child with Roman.
Roman was a philanderer. Maria was said to have engaged in knife fights with the townswomen who mocked her husband's serial infidelity. John witnessed this ridicule. When John was fourteen years old, the town sheriff knocked on the Alonzo's door and callously informed John that his father had been murdered and he needed to identify the body down at the station.
Perhaps the "sum total" theory motivated my grandfather's high school journey and eventual career. John loved the movies. He went as often as he could. It is possible that he modeled his persona after the characters in the movies he admired. At least he dressed the part; he bought and pressed his own clothes. I suppose it is not a surprise that he appreciated the theatre and was an actor in high school plays. Was John a high achiever, or a young man ashamed of a sordid past? Either way, ego was the driving factor behind his success.
My grandmother, Suzanne, had serious intentions of becoming a nun. One of the young nuns at her parochial school vehemently urged her to reconsider this choice and wait to make it after she had dated for a while. This led to Suzanne's decision to leave Catholic school and attend public school. Her intense desire to become a nun was soon replaced by her equally intense desire to be with John. He was the embodiment of her romantic ideals: a hardworking, handsome Latino. In Dallas, Texas, this was not an acceptable partner for a Caucasian woman. This was irrelevant to Suzanne, however. They married after her high school graduation.
John got a job at a local TV station, where he moved up the ladder. He got a part doing a puppet voice on a local night show, which was eventually syndicated. Suzanne encountered blatant racism in Dallas after the birth of their first child. This influenced their move to Hollywood, where John's career could flourish. While racism existed everywhere, it was easier to be Mexican-American in Southern California than it was in Texas. Suzanne's devout Catholicism quickly led to three children.
John found himself repeating family history. He followed in his father's footsteps and engaged in an affair. After a long separation, Suzanne and John eventually divorced. She received meager child support and no alimony. Suzanne qualified for welfare and educational funding at a UC campus, but denied herself both in hopes that she would be able to support herself on her own and not leave her children to a caregiver. She regrets not getting a college education, but she does not regret being there for her children.
John was now achieving success as a cinematographer. His career was his focus, not his relationship with his daughters. John's daughters were critical of his fatherhood. He was unwilling to tolerate this criticism, and in turn, disowned them.
My mother's childhood created an opportunity for her to see duality. My grandmother chose parenthood over the pursuit of education and career status, while my grandfather chose the latter. One can resent family history, or learn from it. What I have learned from this history is that balance creates harmony. Without balance, all things fall apart. I realize I am an impermanent creature, but with the application of balance, I can achieve harmony in both my career and family.
