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Posts by sixfoottall
Joined: Dec 27, 2009
Last Post: Dec 31, 2009
Threads: 3
Posts: 17  

From: Malaysia

Displayed posts: 20
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sixfoottall   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / Additional Essay for Harvard, Topic Love. Too weird?? [4]

i think its even better if you make it in a format of a love letter, in that way it wont seem that awkward from the start - it sets the reader into a right emotion before reading it. :)

and give it a title such as *an unusual love letter* or something. make it creative. I think you'll nail it that way.

All the best for your apps! I hope we both can make it to harvard. hehe.
sixfoottall   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / Bates supplement essay question: "How will you, with your life experiences, cont [2]

All my life, I have always worked hard and tried to withstand any challenge thrown at me.

perseverance are going to make me become a better student and will help me contribute to the vitality of Bates

Anyway, i thought the essay was sort of too short? perhaps you could expand more on what you did for the cooking-for-the-homeless project, and expound on your feelings about it even deeper. :) all the best. Bates is an amazing school.
sixfoottall   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / A Tree or a Cloud? - Harvard Optional Essay [7]

Thanks everyone, and I agree with you twizzlestraw, i ll try to cut down on the *ands*. There really isn't a prompt for harvard optional essay, so i kinda wrote this and gave it a title. or do you think i should change the title? any suggestions?
sixfoottall   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / How to approach Amherst Supplement on Science [19]

Hey twizzlestraw,

i really liked your essay a lot. It is very personal, honest and in a way rather moving. I loved how the way your essay progressed. Great job with it. All the best with your apps. :)
sixfoottall   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / "MY OWN CURIOUS CASE " Feedbacks on my admission essay... [13]

wow i must say i really like the way ur essay progress. It was really interesting and very original. :) and i think your writing is really good.

Just one suggestion: I thought the ending was relatively curt and abrupt. I thought that you could expand more on the last part where your personal thoughts are written about the relationship of you and your clock.

I really like your essay! Keep it up, and thanks for commenting on mine too. Though i must say im not a good judge on application essays. All the best for you!
sixfoottall   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / Common App Essay on Mount Kinabalu, Sabah [9]

thanks. I have to agree with you. =D i ll try to edit it the best i could, but hopefully wont change too much of it since its pretty near the deadline alrdy!

in the meanwhile, any helpful souls out there to give me some comments on my essay please??? pretty stressed up. hehe.
sixfoottall   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / Academic and social communities in the University of Pennsylvania [11]

hey pablo! :) good job with ur essay.

just a few suggestion:
*My curiosity took a hold of me, as I digressed from my main plans to go explore this ivy institution that I had never heard of. As soon as I stepped on the campus, I fell in love with UPenn; the ivy covered walls, the beautiful gothic architecture, the archaic buildings, the majestic Locust Walk, the lively and spirited atmosphere all made UPenn the most aesthetically pleasing university I had ever laid eyes on. On the airplane ride back to Los Angeles, I was left contemplating not the university I was supposed to visit, but the university that seemed like destiny had taken me to, UPenn.*

i thought that this part was kinda unnecessary and not so relevant to the prompt. but if u think its important to you, just leave it there. :)

anyway, i think you've written this pretty well. just try to strengthen more on your point about helping the latinos and diversity bit. You're on ur way! Good luck with your apps. hope to see u at penn next year.

Andrew
sixfoottall   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / A Tree or a Cloud? - Harvard Optional Essay [7]

hey all, do help me take a look at my supplement essay. feel free to voice out any suggestions, thoughts or improvements. :)

A Tree or a Cloud?

Life is unpredictable - you blurted.

The sky turns dark, and you know it will rain; comes 5pm, the roads get noisy, packed, like puzzles piecing up - not to a beautiful picture, but stressful, crowded, disorganized cars and angry people; your boss throws you piles of folders and paperwork, then you realized its near the holiday season, and you are bound to your desk; your girlfriend says - we need to talk - and you know, something bad is around the corner. Everything in life, is written out, like a story so familiar we all could guess the ending halfway through it. Still unpredictable?

Nonsense, utter nonsense! Why then do some people say life is beautiful, breathtaking, surreal - you questioned!

My friend, the world, at large, is too enigmatic for a short, simple, sweet answer to your question.

But, if you insist:

You see, people, more often than not, are sedentary beings. Motionless, desk-bound, settled for what is within hands-reach. We take a step forward, pause, hesitate, worry about the next day, our next word, our next dollar, our next failure; and eventually, we lament on our coward devouring for the same old riches, that stoops down below our feet: sons, inheriting the riches of their fathers; children, trapped in the same cycle of life - school, college, work, marriage, family, retirement. You say life is unpredictable, I say life is pre-determined.

My friend, we are all born with a faint delineation of our destiny, believe it or not - one set by our fathers, shaped by our societies, and one we all had long foreseen, knowingly or unknowingly. Our lives, as beautiful as it may be, will always be predictable, determined and unthrilling - if we live in the same predicament set by others

Funny, why are you so cynical, pessimistic - you quipped!

You see, life blankets us with an odd assurance; like a newborn expecting for warmth and attention from the surrounding - sometimes joyful giggles, other times cries, and some other times desperations: to reach out for a world, lived in, but not understood or well communicated, at least not yet. And so are we, when it comes to understanding our world - at times, we find joy from it, then sadness, and more surprises, but we never could understand the mystical influences that govern the pattern of events! And it is amidst these inabilities to understand our life, that we choose to leave the inscrutable only as thoughts and questions we all bewilder at; passive, subservient to the works of the world.

And the unpredictability of life is thus silenced by our passiveness towards life - that sometimes, we choose to live in the same manner we know we already will: cowardly predictable, and unquestioning.

What is it then that makes life unpredictable - you asked.
Life, as William Blake poetically puts it, paints a tree and a cloud above it; that the tree, graceful as it is, devours only the riches of the Earth bestowed within its reaches, and falters at the same ground where its seed first birthed. The cloud above it, however less lush nor graceful, is fluid and roams the Earth - worriless, so fast-changing, that its riches abound in greater multitude, and in far places, you and I, would never know.

So my question to you, my friend: the cloud or the tree - you choose.
sixfoottall   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / Bowdoin Supplemental essay--My life through music and sports... [11]

Hey aldo,

Just one suggestion, I thought your opening could be briefer and get straight right into your essay.
*With a white collared shirt, black pants, and my Palo de Rosa guitar, I stepped up onto the stage when my mentor said my name* is kinda unnecessary and slightly distracting? Just my opinion, but if its your writing style dat it ll be alright! :)

Other than that, i thought your essay was very nice! Its personal, and it showed an interesting point about you - sports and music. keep it that way.

All the best!
sixfoottall   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / I'm an older brother; Tufts - Let Your Life Speak [4]

wow i think this is a really heartfelt essay that is personal and who you really are. Good job ivan. :) i hope you'll do well with your apps. and you have good writing too.
sixfoottall   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / Princeton Supplement - about a person who has influenced you. (Harvard sup too!) [3]

Hey all, please help me out with this essay. :) lookin forward to your suggestions and improvements. THANKS!

Prompt: Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.

I eat grass.

Lalangs, we call it. Wild grass, but not the ones that cows and goats chew on. And neither do I chew on them like cows and goats - rather only for my tummy ache, I eat them.

It never occurred to me the way my friend would react when I candidly told him about my grass-eating experience - surprised and partly amused. I always thought it was in every way normal, and not, to put in his words, orang asli.

In fact, I find eating many things normal. I eat bats. I eat chicken feet, pig's liver, intestine, heart, gizzard. All parts of a pig, I put them into my mouth. My mother eats sago worms from tree barks - and it seems normal to me. Yet, I always had the same response - laughter, and more laughter - when I unfold such stories of myself to my friend.

I know I cannot help myself from all these. Food, like shopping to women, is my obsession - and my weakness. I prey on them, literally. Throw me a box of donuts, some chicken wings, a big glass of chocolate ice-cream, and I probably would promise you anything. Thoughts of food are quite literally brimming in my head. Perhaps that is the reason why many of my friends idolize me - for being the roundest thing that they have ever seen. Round belly, round face, and probably my whole figure, head to toe, is round (at least for now only, I hope).

But I find joy from eating food - and my friend couldn't agree more. Perhaps also, it is in my nature that I can find joy from the simplest of all things. Just like how I loved being naked. Not because I am a mad exhibitionist, nor am I a self-indulgent narcissistic. I hated clothes, quite literally. I did not like the feeling of things pasted upon my skin - it was troublesome and unnatural, I thought. And probably part of the reason was from my native upbringing - that I did not find much shame in being naked, and running around in places. In fact, I used to not wear clothes at all till I was 5-6 years old, unless forced to by my parents.

Now the only nakedness that I still love to live with - thank God, as my friend exclaimed - is on my feet. I love to be barefooted. I walk around without shoes, play sports without shoes, and prefer to do anything without shoes - even tennis under the scorching afternoon sun was without shoes. And the only thing that comes close to my mind to cover my feet with - is a pair of slippers.

Yet, of all the weirdest things and habits that I have of myself, this friend of mine treats me nothing differently. That I was still the same person that he sees in his eyes - Andrew, a plain round boy, orang asli, short and loud. He still pampers me with food, proudly shares my weird experiences with his friends, still plays tennis with me under the hot sun - barefooted, and God-knows what other things we do together. He makes me accept myself for who I am, and to continue pursuing the things and living the way that I find most joy in - even if it may seem funny, out-of-the-world to him.

And to a great extent, I learned to be more comfortable with who I am from him. That I know - it is perfectly alright to be a person that other people may not find normal: unless you're a terrorist, a pedophile or a psychopathic clown; and that sometimes, it is alright for me to find men crawling inside my head, instead of women, for some good reasons. But surely, you will not find me running around the streets naked, thinking that it is normal anymore - I have grown up from that!

Now, I am happier, and I do things that are me without worrying what others might think - thanks to him, my friend.

660words
sixfoottall   
Dec 28, 2009
Undergraduate / Common App Essay on Mount Kinabalu, Sabah [9]

Thanks for the comments. I ll try to cut it down and make things clearer and easier to read.

Any help on the overall idea for my essay?? Please???? :) kinda desperate.
sixfoottall   
Dec 28, 2009
Undergraduate / University of Pennsylvania; 'its commitment to social development, M&T Program' [3]

Hey benno,

I like your writing style. :)

Just my two-cent:

*with unimaginable research opportunities- I cannot wait to explore them- and exceptional professors such as Dr. William F. Hamilton - inspiring role models-,*

I kinda felt that the - are pretty awkwardly placed. How bout replacing them with brackets?

and another input is that i thought you spent two much on the first two big paragraphs and not really answering the question straight. Maybe u can try cutting down on those parts???

overall i think you did a great job with your essay, and its really interesting to see how you weave in your knowledge of cooking into this essay. All the best!
sixfoottall   
Dec 28, 2009
Undergraduate / MIT creativity essay " How i convinced students to donate blood" [3]

Hey hassan, one thing i like about your writing is that its very simple and honest such that I could hear your voice.

One thing that i felt awkward was your first sentence.

*It is one thing to do an appreciable deed yourself; a totally different matter to convince others to do it.*

I think you can improve on this sentence. Im not sure if you agree with me, just some suggestion. :)

Overall i think it pretty much answers the question, and keep with such simple writing. All the best for you!
sixfoottall   
Dec 27, 2009
Undergraduate / Common App Essay on Mount Kinabalu, Sabah [9]

Mount Kinabalu, Sabah

I remember a legend - it all begins from the foot of this mountain, where a sacrifice was made. One so bloodless and divine, that soon - vows were exchanged from the people to the Heavens above: a promise, that first birthed the ritual of a long march towards the doors of Heaven, and then birthed the beliefs for generations of Kadazans.

The march to Libabou, they called it.

I am a Kadazan. We worship the ancient Gods of the land. Kinoingan, my great-grandmother told me, is one of the five ancient Gods of Borneo. He casted a strong wind upon the land, and divided the world into three: Libabou and Kolungkud (heaven and hell), and Mount Kinabalu for the spirits of the deceased to find rest. I grew up with my great-grandmother at the foot of Mount Kinabalu; I called her mamak tua. We lived in a wooden house that was not too small, yet not too big for our small lives. And for many years before I was born, mamak tua had stayed there - at the same house, next to the same river, beside the same road.

There were many differences that came forth in her eyes, about the many parts of the mountain that made her seem to stay put; I found no differences then staying at any parts of the mountain: you still feel its same edges, stare at its same green valleys, at many parts you still see the river and taste the same water, you see the same sun rising, and maybe only at different times you feel not the same thickness of the air.

But to mamak tua it all seemed so incomprehensibly different. That to her, nature was not a cover book that you glance through with the same idle-happiness - there was cadence, subtle enigmatic nuances, much more to her eyes than in mine.

Then I learned from her that there is a gift to every kadazan man like me - a shooting pipe, skulls, or a journey into the mountain - one much different from the gift mamak tua perceived for her female kind. Bravery is at heart to what is to become of a kadazan man. Hunters, warriors, travelers; they all seek for distances, much less to the women who seek loyalty to their grounds. Just like me, my mother told me: a brave man right at the age of 14 travelled to distances, two-and-a-half hours plane ride across the South China Sea, with no relatives but strangers. I treaded walks of life I would not encounter in Borneo.

You see, months ago, I would be out-and-about, roaming and seeking unhealthy solace at every corners of the unsleeping city, with friends I could barely trust and had barely known; many more months ago, I would be sitting at the park with my smoking companions, only to waste our nights away; a year ago, I would be sitting at the couch of my lover's house, indulging myself in a period of exploration of my own sensuality and sexuality; and three years ago, I would be quivering in fear plastered, several times, by a middle-aged ogre - an unspoken physical harassment in trepidation of his superior authority. Life in new distances was not easy to live by at first. Yet later on, it became too easy for the wrong reasons.

But that was not the case for mamak tua, or any of my kadazan ancestors at large: they never felt that it was easy to leave in the first place. It often dawned on me, the reason for mamak tua to have the firmness grounded upon her life and her stubbornness to live at the mountain. Easily I thought, that perhaps it was because for too many years, she had only amazed at the green horizon of the land from the same edge of the mountain; and that she may not even have seen the vast seas, and the world that lies beyond them.

Little did I understand, that her loyalty for the mountain sprung closely from the kadazan legend she spoke of to me - the march to Libabou. That just like every kadazan, I was born with a promise, one marked in my blood and made to the God of my ancestors.

For it is where she and I had lived, at the foot of Mount Kinabalu - a sacrifice was made by our God, Kinoingan. Spared before the doors of Heaven, His beloved daughter Huminodun vanished; that Her flesh became the first seeds of the Padi Huma (hill paddy), Her blood became the water in the rivers, and Her existence vanished, only revered as the spirit of hill paddy, Bambaazon. And it is from such divine generosity, our ancestors laid a promise to find rest nowhere else, but near the sun at the highest point of their land, Mount Kinabalu no matter how far they have travelled - a loyalty to guard what was heavily paid for by our Gods: life in the land of Borneo.

And so, towards the sky, the long march begins. Grateful spirits of my ancestors follow a path along this mountain to the doors of Heaven; like passing ships in the dark sea - sailing blindly, but faithfully, towards the far-reaching lights of the lighthouse. And there, before the eyes of their Creator, they fulfill a promise which I must follow: an eternal vow to protect the mountain and a loyalty to safeguard our birthplace, our beginnings.

tinggi tinggi gunung kinabalu,
tinggi lagi sayang sama kamu.

Mount Kinabalu.
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