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Posts by peacelovesarah
Joined: Jan 18, 2010
Last Post: Mar 29, 2010
Threads: 5
Posts: 11  

From: United States of America

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Mar 29, 2010
Undergraduate / NYU Short Answers- Blair Waldorf, poem, "49", and politics. [6]

Thanks everyone for your detailed responses!

DiodotusX- congratulations on your acceptance to NYU! I am applying as a transfer, so my application is due on April 1st. The TV show Gossip Girl is my guilty pleasure, so I picked one of the most amusing, craziest characters from the show- Blair Waldorf. Blair also happens to attend NYU, and I'm sure that someone on the admissions committee is aware of that. I'm pretty sure that they actually do some filming at NYU for the show. Choosing Blair certainly does not match my intended major, but it really does reflect who I am. I love exploring NYC and enjoying the shopping and restuarants there. Perhaps I will change it to someone like Hillary Clinton. This was my first draft, and I went with Blair because I felt it was the most honest. I will also admit that I am a TERRIBLE poet. I like writing, but have always been terrified of poetry. The one I came up with just kind of came out and I stuck with it because I didn't think I could come up with anything better. I know that being a President is a huge goal, but with my major being poli sci, I felt it was the best faux movie I could come up with. Thanks for posting your responses to NYU's supplement, I certainly will look over them and try to fix mine up a bit! Thanks again for everything.

EF_Kevin- Thanks for the grammar help, I knew that the first sentence didn't flow correctly. Thank you for mentioning the Obama part. I have had the same concern before but proceeded to keep the reference in most of my applications so far simply because the speech truly did inspire me. If Barack Obama never went into politics, I doubt I would be so passionate or interested in it. NYU gives a "liberal" vibe, yet I'm sure some people on the admissions committee will be Republicans. I would certainly hope that wouldn't be the reason I am not admitted to NYU, but it is very possible that people would use it as a bias. I will consider taking it out, but I just think it's a very important part of my interest.

Mar 26, 2010
Undergraduate / NYU Short Answers- Blair Waldorf, poem, "49", and politics. [6]

If you had the opportunity to spend one day in New York City with a famous New Yorker, who would it be and what would you do? (Your New Yorker can be anyone -past or present, fictional or nonfictional - who is commonly associated with New York City; they do not necessarily have to have been born and raised in New York.)

The queen bee from the Upper East Side on Gossip Girl, Blair Waldorf, and I would start our day together by grabbing breakfast and sitting on the steps of the MET, taking in all of the sounds, smells and people passing by. All afternoon, we would go shopping in Greenwich Village. We would have dinner at her favorite restaurant, Butter, where I would ask her all about going to school at NYU. Our day would conclude after Blair introduced me to everyone on her floor and we fell asleep in her dorm.

Write a haiku, limerick, or short (eight lines or less) poem that best represents you.

Where am I?
Skyscrapers tower over me,
Chewed gum and neglected pennies accompany my feet on the sidewalk.
I am an explorer on this journey of life.
Where am I?
My curiosity is my partner,
As I explore this big city.
I am home.

In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life. Please tell us the name of your movie and briefly summarize the story line.

"49" takes you inside the campaign trail leading up to the historic 2048 election, when (my name) was elected the first female president of the United States. How did Sarah persevere through the bigotry, sexism, and even the threats made against her family to become the 49th President? She believed in herself and believed in the American people to come together for common good, and in doing so, she made history. One woman, one dream, one historic election.

Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

Hearing Obama's gripping keynote speech at the DNC in 2004 when I was only 13 inspired me and sparked my passion for politics. Studying politics at NYU will allow me to obtain an incomparable education by taking unique courses such as "Games, Strategy, Politics" and becoming an intern for NY politicians or nonprofit organizations like Empower. Although politics can be daunting, I appreciate that a politician holds the power to foster a better tomorrow; this is exactly what I aspire to do.
Mar 26, 2010
Undergraduate / "My dear Roommate", Babson Undergraduate Essay (SE) [4]

I thought talking about Babson in the first sentence was a bit too cliche. But other than that, I liked this- it gave a sense of who you are and where you come from! Good luck!
Mar 26, 2010
Undergraduate / Growing Up Organic. Columbia Essay & Short Answers. [3]

I know this is late, but thanks so much Brooke for all of your help. I changed all of my essays based on your suggestions, and I was truly confident in submitting my application after that. I wish I had known about IveEyes before submitting my Brown application (Brown's my dream school!) but I will definitely suggest IvyEyes to friends.
Mar 14, 2010
Undergraduate / Growing Up Organic. Columbia Essay & Short Answers. [3]

Hi everyone...

Write an essay that conveys to the reader a sense of who you are. Possible topics may include, but are not limited to, experiences that have shaped your life, the circumstances of your upbringing, your most meaningful intellectual achievement, the way you see the world-the people in it, events great and small, everyday life-or any personal theme that appeals to your imagination. Please remember that we are concerned not only with the substance of your prose but with your writing style as well. We prefer that you limit yourself to 250-500 words.

I grew up organic. It may sound strange, but there is no other way to summarize in one statement the circumstances of my upbringing. Every so often, I am reminded of the day in nursery school when everyone was indulging in cupcakes for someone's birthday. Of course to any four year old, a cupcake with pink frosting and colorful sprinkles in a silver lining is captivating. My first instinct: I have to have it! But I was reminded by a teacher that I was not allowed to have cupcakes and that my mom packed me a banana for snack. As I sat around the circular table, envious of my friends enjoying their cupcakes, I was furious that my mom would make me miss out on the treat. I am not sure why I have such a vivid memory of that day from so long ago, but I still use it against my mom.

I resented the fact that my parents forced me to always eat healthy and whenever I got the chance, I would snag a glass of Coca-Cola or a Twinkie; whatever I could get my hands on, really, I was not picky. And once I was out of my parent's control, I went into my own unhealthy food utopia! My parents would remind me that I should be making healthy choices, but I was too happy eating snacks all the time. But by the time I got to high school, I started to become more realistic and more accepting of the food values my parents tried to instill in me. And perhaps having a nutritionist at home was something I could use to my advantage. When there are snacks as delicious as Oreos and Friendly's ice cream sundaes, it is challenging to fight the temptation.

As an 18-year-old now, growing up organic has taught me a lot more than making healthy food choices. Perhaps that day in nursery school would be a segue to the day in high school when I watched as my friends engaged in drinking alcohol but I decided not to engage myself. I grew up differently than many other people, if only in such a minor way, but being different is not a bad thing. In fact, eating consciously has to be one of the greatest differences to have. Fighting temptation pays off, as does being the odd one out sometimes. Okay, so maybe it is still hard to choose a banana over a cupcake, but at least I try to make the healthy choice most of the time. Now, I head full force into college life not only with a healthy lifestyle and clean diet, but with the recognition that differences are not always bad, and sometimes it is a good thing to sit on the sidelines, as challenging as it may be.

While I think the essay above is most important, here are my short answers if you can look them over :-) Didn't really know what they were looking for with the books & performances, but tried to put forward the best...

Limiting yourself to the space provided, briefly describe which single activity/interest listed represents your most meaningful commitment and why. (600 characters)

My most meaningful commitment is my role as President of my current college's Psychology Club. My fascination of psychology united with my hope to form a small community amongst a disconnected commuter campus has developed my commitment to the Psychology Club. It seems that all of the students who are part of the club came together for the same reasons as I, and we have formed lifelong friendships and learned more about psychology than we could have in any classroom. Not only have we met professionals in the field of psychology, but we have volunteered and fundraised for local organizations. Through my role in the Psychology Club, I have become a successful leader and have accomplished more than I had ever dreamt of.

How and why is your present school not meeting your needs? Please limit yourself to 250 words (1 page).

The current school I attend gives me bittersweet feelings; in some ways, I am extremely satisfied, yet in other ways, I feel myself hoping and reaching for more than it can provide. I hope to transfer to Columbia to attain all that I have at my current school, but with the additional aspects that I feel are critical to reach my potential as a student and an individual. I am grateful for some of the wonderful professors that I have had; without them, I would have never had the confidence and will to apply to a school of such high caliber as Columbia and I would have never uncovered some of my interests such as William Blake's artwork and poetry. The clearest indicator that I need to transfer is that my school does not have a Political Science Department or offer a degree in anything nearly similar. I know that by transferring, I will not only be able to study my passion, but also meet others who share that same passion. Beyond my area of study, my school is completely disconnected and lacks the feel of a community because it is made up of mainly commuters. Although New York City is one of the largest in the country, Columbia College is a relatively small, close-knit community that I yearn to be a part of. Living away from home will allow me to grow as an individual, more independent than the person I am now. A political science department, a close-knit community, and on-campus housing are only three of the many reasons transferring is the best way for me to develop as a scholar. I expect to come out of Columbia as a well-rounded student who has been involved in many groups and activities, participated in research, and became an intern in the wonderful city of New York.

Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why. (600 characters)

Columbia, right in the heart of New York City, has so much to offer me as both a student and an individual. The simple fact that Columbia has been affiliated with more Nobel Prize winners than any other institution illustrates that I will be intellectually challenged by both my professors and fellow classmates. At Columbia, I can study my passion of Political Science by taking fascinating course such as "Weapons, Strategy, and War" and "Logic of Collective Choice." I am intrigued by the diversity at Columbia-the diversity of race, religion, ethnicity, passion, and ideas. At Columbia, no academic or career dream is too big-after two years, I will have the confidence and means to go after all that I want to achieve.

List the books you read for pleasure in the past year:

Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Half the Sky by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson, The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, and Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

List the required readings you enjoyed most in the past year:

Pocho by Jose Antonio Villarreal, A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew by Shakespeare, Dreaming in Cuban by Cristina Garcia, and poetry by Lord Byron and William Blake.

List the print and/or electronic publications you read regularly:

The New York Times, TIME Magazine, The Wall Street Journal.

List the films, performances, exhibits, concerts, shows, etc. you enjoyed most in the past year:

William Blake exhibit at the Morgan Library and Museum, Lady Gaga concert, "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire," La Bohème at the Metropolitan Opera, President Obama's speech on health care in NYC in October of 2009, and "Food, Inc."

I know there's a lot here, but any suggestions or insight you may have would be SO helpful!!!!
Feb 19, 2010
Undergraduate / Celebrating Life oftheMind-- "Why Swarthmore Essay" [4]

I really like this! I do suggest mentioning a few other things Swarthmore has to offer that you like. The "Screw Your Roommate" is good, but I suggest adding at least one, but maybe two other examples as well :) Good luck!

I choose Swarthmore because of its strong liberal academics, but I love Swarthmore for the components beyond that.

I think that "choose" should be "chose". I know it can be used both ways in this sentence, but I think it makes more sense when in the past tense.
Feb 19, 2010
Undergraduate / Common App Transfer Essay- The storm is now sunshine [5]

Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

The sunrise was a peculiar red that morning in the end of June, and I recalled that there was a distinctive circle on the moon the night before. I knew instinctively that could only mean one thing; a storm was on its way. The sky became dark and the ominous clouds began moving in. Things were about to change drastically.

I decided to graduate one year prematurely; I had brought this storm upon myself. I was confident in my decision until that day in June when I was shaking from the nerves of walking in front of a crowd of one thousand people to receive my diploma. I had never been nervous of attention before; why now, after countless speeches had been delivered and dance recitals had been performed? This time, I was nervous for another reason; I was about to wander down a path I had never been down before, and I would be venturing on this journey alone.

When the first day of September rolled around, I was college bound whether I was ready or not. I still looked up and saw the dark clouds, it seemed as if they had never left. I was no longer returning to Kings Park High School like the previous three years. I was no longer walking past familiar faces in the hallway. To put it plainly; I was lonely.

With time to adjust to my new college and the new life it created for me, I realized that I was getting even more than I imagined out of college. I met new people from all over New York and I even made two friends who are from Shanghai, China. My professors pushed me further than I thought possible; I had to push myself to get the grades I wanted in a more challenging educational setting. What I found most remarkable was my intellectual curiosity. Taking a course in the Romantic Arts made me realize my appreciation of artwork and poetry, a course in Public Speaking made me realize my love of the subject. I was discovering new passions with each successive semester. I had found something that I lacked during high school: a true love of learning. It was no longer a chore; it was something I looked forward to.

I began my college career by taking Liberal Arts and Sciences coursework which has given me insight into subjects varying from biology to communication. But as a sophomore in college, it is time to look ahead into my future. I know what my passion is, and I would not be satisfied with any other major besides Political Science. A few courses in politics reaffirmed my thoughts that Political Science was my calling. There was one barrier, though: there is no Political Science major at my college. I could not let this stop me from following my dream and my passion.

Deciding to leave the college where I have spent the past two years has not been easy. I know it is easy to stick with things that we are comfortable with, the people and places that we know best. I know my way around campus, I know many professors, and I have formed close friendships with countless students. I know that staying at my college to attain a Bachelor's degree would be simple, but by doing that I would be cutting myself short of my potential. By settling with one of the fields that my school offers, I would be would be setting myself up for a less than enthusiastic and rewarding education and career to follow.

I hope that by transferring, I will be able to explore my passion in depth among others who share the similar interest. I will have the opportunity to take a variety of classes within my major, while also getting internships and conducting research within the field. Transferring will open me up to a new world; a new place to call home, a new curriculum, and new people to meet. This time, I have made my decision to attend a new school wholeheartedly. I have no doubts that I will thrive at a new college that can accommodate my academic interests. I'm not scared, I'm ready and enthusiastic. I've grown since that dark, June day; I'm confident, independent, and ready to start a new chapter. The storm is long gone, the skies are clear and blue, with sunshine beaming; success awaits me.

I'm applying to Brown University, Amherst College, Barnard College, Columbia University, Hampshire College, UMass Amherst, and NYU. I appreciate any input!
Feb 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "Brown University offers so much more than quality education" [6]

I like it and agree with all you have to say about Brown! My only suggestion is to make it a little bit more specific. I understand exactly what you're saying with all of those things because I feel the same way, but keep in mind that there are other colleges that you can say the exact things about. Try to mention something immensely specficic about the school that you like... perhaps a certain professor, a certain class, or a certain tradition.
Feb 16, 2010
Undergraduate / What kind of words would you like to adorn your headstone? UNC Essay [3]

I'm applying to UNC Chapel Hill and had a lot of trouble with this even though it seems like such a simple prompt. Any input is greatly appreciated! This is my first draft...

After your long and happy life, your family must choose no more than a dozen words to adorn your headstone. What do you hope they choose, and why?

Loving, altruistic, optimistic, dedicated, sincere, thoughtful, and inspirational.

Together, these seven adjectives sum up all that I hope I am and all that I hope to be. I am loving. In a world full of hatred and anger, I try to spread my love through a mere smile to a stranger, a hug to someone struggling through a bad day, and a shoulder for those who need one to lean on. I refuse to be anything but loving toward my family, friends, acquaintances, and passing strangers. A little bit of love can change something as small as a second or something as long as a lifetime. I am altruistic. I always strive to help others before I worry about accommodating my own wants and needs. Most people are trying to succeed in this lifelong struggle of survival of the fittest, but by helping those in need we can all succeed and prosper together. Some of my greatest joy has been a result of helping others whether that is helping my five year old brother with his homework or making bagged lunches for hungry New Yorkers. I am optimistic. I cannot say that I am always looking on the bright side, but my family would agree that I am optimistic as often as I can be. When applying to colleges, I have full faith that the Admissions Committees will see all that I have to offer and when I found out that my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, I did not let it cross my mind that this disease could potentially kill one of the most wonderful people in my life. A little optimism goes a long way, and throughout the eighteen years of my life, I have seen my optimism help me get through the most devastating situations and I have seen it radiate onto everyone around me. I am dedicated. I pour my heart and soul into everything I do whether that is my job as a clerical assistant at a hospital or my leadership role in my college's Psychology Club. I am sincere. I am always speaking the way I truly feel and believe and I will thoughtlessly stand up for those beliefs. I never want to project an image of someone that I am not and I always want to be completely genuine and true to who I am. My intended major, Political Science, usually brings up controversial and relentless arguments, which is a forum for my sincerity, yet I am very careful in that I do not offend or insult anyone while trying to defend my own beliefs. I am thoughtful. I am always thinking things through and always giving everything the careful thought that it needs. Of these seven words I want to adorn my headstone, there is one that I am not sure that I am, yet it is the one adjective that I hope I am by the end of my lifetime: inspirational. I hope that through my love, altruism, optimism, dedication, sincerity, and thoughtfulness, I inspire others to be the best that they can be.
Feb 8, 2010
Undergraduate / Brown supplemental essay, that "perfect" one. [4]

I'm applying as a transfer student, so I don't know if that's why there is a difference in characters allowed. The transfer supplement says there's an 1800 character limit for this one. Thanks for your input- I will look into the things you mentioned :)
Feb 7, 2010
Undergraduate / Brown supplemental essay, that "perfect" one. [4]

Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?

With over six thousand accredited higher education institutions in the United States alone, how can any student sort through all of those to find that "perfect" one? But atop College Hill, standing amidst a beautiful campus full of greenery and classic architecture that took my breath away, my future became clear; I had found my dream college-Brown University. But that picturesque campus was a minor detail among the plethora of reasons I decided that Brown was that "perfect" college to spend the rest of my time as an undergraduate student. It is not simply the open curriculum which will grant me the ability to follow my passions while discovering some new ones along the way. It cannot just be the warm, friendly community of students and faculty that I will mesh right into. It is not just the high caliber of Brown students who will push me to work harder than ever before, to push my mind to the limit. It not simply the inspiring student groups such as the Brown chapter of Amnesty International or the Mali Health Organizing Project that I would love to be a part of. In the end, college is not simply a place to grow as a scholar but a place to grow as an individual. Among the diverse students I met on my visit to Brown there were a few things they all had in common despite their various different majors and future career plans; they were all enthusiastic, open-minded, and multi-faceted individuals who love their college. Being with people from around the world with different passions and dreams will cultivate intelligence far beyond the classroom. What I found at Brown I am yet to find anywhere else (and I have begun loosing faith in those other six thousand and something schools) and that is a place I see myself getting a one of a kind education at, a city I picture being my new home, and a community that I yearn to be a part of. Attending Brown remains a dream for now, but once that dream is fulfilled the door will be opened to fulfill many more.