Undergraduate / "A muslim family that celebrates Christmas" - Response to an essay question [5]

<<USD Question: As a Catholic University committed to building a more inclusive community, we value students with diverse backgrounds and experiences. Briefly explain how your unique background and interests will contribute to our community.>>

A muslim family that celebrates Christmas every year as if it is ours explains how diversity is in my blood. My grandmother Lola Jean is an American Christian who moved with husband to Egypt in the mid 1930s in search for a place to raise a family. I come from a background of mixed religions and mixed cultures of American/Egyptian and Muslim/Christian. Other than my background, my experiences also play a major role in determining my identity. I joined many clubs in my high school and university to help my community and my environment. I joined AISforEgypt for community service. I have been through many experiences in my current university; however, I believe I am not tested academically. USD is a community with a diverse background and is where I will reach my potential.

<< I have wrote a response to the above statement. Please help me polish this and make it ready for admission. thank you>>

Undergraduate / "underprivileged Egyptian children" - an extracurricular activity or work experience. [2]

>>Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer)<<

It was during my junior year at Cairo's American International School that I joined 80 volunteers from different private schools to stage an AISforEgypt event for the benefit of 200 underprivileged Egyptian children.

This is when I met Hossam, a naive 12 year old boy who worked in a farm to help provide for his single mother and younger sister. I shall never forget how, during lunch, Hossam looked at his plate with an expression of disbelief. It was his first time to eat meat!

At day's end Hossam was a happier child and I much the wiser. The product of a sheltered high-end gated community I took it for granted that meat and other such staples were a common sight on everyone's lunch table.

That fated day was my initiation to the world of haves and have-nots. Hossam had changed my life... for the better.

<<thats my response to the above statement. I need more editing to make this perfect for admissions. I went through 6 drafts to minimize my work and make it 150 words or fewer so please give this a lot of attention. thank you>>>

Undergraduate / "meet the challenges in Northeastern" - response to reasons why you want to transfer. [2]

>>Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.<<

During my second semester at my current university, I spent about two months working with the university's Entrepreneurship Society. At first we began at a slow pace, however, on the third session I really got interested. The pace had quickened and theory was translating into action. As members of the group came up with different ideas and a variety of business plans, we were additionally motivated when a corporate sponsor stepped in with a LE 30,000 (USD 5,000) award for the best all-around "small business" proposal. In spite of the hard work and managing time between classes, assignments, and sports, it was a wonderful experience. While meeting new and interesting undergraduates my involvement allowed me to interact informally with professors as well as leading local entrepreneurs. Then and there I realized I wanted to join the ranks of business.

Upon my return to the American University in Cairo for my sophomore year, I learned available BA major do not include Entrepreneurship, hence, my eagerness to look for alternative universities offering such a major. It was time to surf the net. From among the many university websites visited, Northeastern struck me as the perfect candidate. I became captivated by the interaction between students, faculty, and the strong corporate partnerships. The business clubs and organizations on campus such as the Entrepreneurship/Innovators club, the Market club, and the Finance and Investments club, along with NU's International Experience curriculum perfectly match my personal and professional goals. Co-op will also provide depth and exposure to the diverse range of industry sections, which I believe is the perfect way to round up a student for the global community.

Many of my incentives for transferring are almost academic. AUC has provided me with many experiences and friends. Moreover, it made me discover my love for entrepreneurship. Being an American national who grew up in the Middle East my preferences understandably are stateside rather than Europe or the UK.

I have done well with all the challenges that I have experienced in AUC, as my transcripts show. I am convinced I would meet the challenges in Northeastern and put my new skills to the test.

<<<<This is my response to the common app question stated above. I need a thorough edit/touch to this piece to make it perfect for admissions. So please check for any punctuation and or any changes needed. I have made many drafts, however, I need more to make it acceptable and interesting for the admission folks. Thank you>>>>

Undergraduate / "my interest for entrepreneurship grew more" - reasons why you want to transfer. [NEW]

>>Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.<<

During my second semester at my current university, I spent about two months working with the university's Entrepreneurship Society. At first we began at a slow pace where everything wasn't as interesting as I expected, however, that perspective changed within our third meeting. During the introductory phase we did such activities as sharing ideas and communicating with groups within the ES. As days passed and work became more interesting, I got a better idea of how to create a small business and the fundamentals needed to operate one. During that phase we created business plans for several ideas and managed to get sponsors in order to create a competition with a prize of 30,000 EGP to give away to the person with the best all round business proposal. In spite of the hard work and managing time between classes, assignments, and sports, it was a wonderful experience. I met interesting people from diverse backgrounds, interacted with talented students and faculty members, and met with successful entrepreneurs in the global community. That is when I realized how fascinating to me entrepreneurship is.

Upon my return to the American University in Cairo for my sophomore year, I realized that the BA major which I am studying now does not include Entrepreneurship, which I hope to pursue. As my interest for entrepreneurship grew more I began researching the startups and understanding the fundementals of successful entrepreneurs in my community. I began looking for universities with the major I want to focus on and Northeastern came up. After browsing through your website I became captivated by the measure of interaction between students, faculty, and the strong corporate partnerships this university educates on. The business clubs and organizations on campus such as the Entrepreneurship/Innovators club, the Market club, and the Finance and Investments club are all clubs that I would participate in. The advantages of co-op in Northeastern will play a large role in improving my communication, technical, and personal skills. Co-op will also provide depth and exposure to the diverse range of industry sections, which I believe is the perfect way to round up a student for the global community. I hope to broaden my knowledge in Entrepreneurship and New Venture Management, participate in more clubs, and eventually go on to graduate school

Many of my incentives for transferring are almost academic. AUC has provided me with many experiences and friends. Moreover, it made me discover my love for entrepreneurship. Being half American and half Egyptian is why I hope to continue my education in USA and learn about the culture, which makes half of who I am.

I have done well with all the challenges that I have experienced in AUC, as my transcripts show. I am convinced I would meet the challenges in Northeastern and grow there as a student. I know your program in Entrepreneurship and New Venture Management alongside your International Experience program perfectly match my personal and professional goals.

>>For this essay I need a thorough edit to polish it and make it more interesting, moreover, I need to cut this to a 250 word essay not a 400 word essay as it is.

Undergraduate / my volunteering at AISforEGYPT, response, an extracurricular activity/work experience [4]

>>Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer).<<

It was March 20, 2008 during my junior year at The American International School in Cairo when I became inspired. For a month students spoke about how life-changing AISforEGYPT is and so I decided to join. With support from faculty and other students AISforEgypt was organizing a huge full day event for 200 children. Weeks of painstaking work made seconds seem like hours, but that payed off at the end. Full meals and presents along with entertainment were part of the day's schedule. With a workforce of 80 volunteers from five different schools everything was going as planned.

After breakfast we all introduced our selfs and made groups. I met Hossam, a 12 year old boy who works in a farm everyday to help provide for his single mother and younger sister. As we danced to his favorite Egyptian singers and played many games Hossam and I bonded even more. Hours seamed like seconds as lunch came closer. During lunch Hossam looked at his plate and couldn't believe his eyes. I was shocked to learn that it was his first time to eat meat. As the day came to an end we became more attached, I felt like he was my younger brother. To this day, every year Hossam and I meet and catch up on stories and enjoy a day like that time we first met.

I continued to participate more in clubs that helped my community and during that process met many young children that inspire me more and more to continue my volunteering at AISforEGYPT. One day is all it takes to change someone's life and be enlightened by those you meet. I am more thankful now about my life and until this day I am inspired everyday by the life of many children like Hossam.

*I have wrote a response to the statement above, however, I need help with making this paper 150 words or fewer along with some final touches to polish this piece for admissions.