jam3s11
Nov 25, 2010
Undergraduate / Backpacking and how it helped me define myself- UC Prompt [10]
Which ending should i choose? Thanks for the feedback!
UC Prompt 2- Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Lush valleys gave way to stunning mountain peaks. Mosquitoes so thick in the river valleys that repellent was futile. Creeks were born from the crystal clear waters of Duck and Purple Lakes. Rock passes tested not only wills but also imaginations. Last summer I went on my first backpacking trip with my dad and brother. Our destination was the Sierras. Before even going on the trip, I didn't think much of the physical aspect, considering I surf, snowboard, play golf and love the outdoors. I could not have been more wrong. Even though we were only going on a four-day trip, my father's friend, who is an avid backpacker, mapped our journey to about thirty-two miles; he thought we were going for twelve days.
The first two days we traveled seven miles a piece, carrying forty-pound packs plus water, heavy leather boots and high expectations. The third day we camped at Beetle Bug Lake to fish for rainbow trout. It was the fourth day that really tested us. We rose early, six am give or take. As my dad started to boil water for oatmeal, my brother and I started packing up the tent and sleeping bags. By seven am we were off. The first three miles went quickly; they were mostly downhill and we covered the distance in less than two hours. By noon we had made amazing time; just five hours into the day and we were already past the Ivy Bells Hot Springs.
It was two o'clock and spirits were high. Having already stopped for lunch, it was time to tackle the last eight of the eighteen miles to arrive at Reds Meadow. From the map it seemed that we just had one steep mile, and from there gradual terrain. We should have bought a better map. The steep mile was there, and it took us over an hour to cover it, but instead of being mostly flat, the remaining seven miles were pretty much all uphill. It was five o'clock and we were tiring, so much that we all decided on taking a nap. Once recharged, we were back at it. But it wasn't like the morning; we were no longer taking pictures of all the scenery, but just thinking about getting to Reds Meadow. Sundown was approaching, and the temperature was dropping. As we were starting to get out the flashlights, we ran into half a dozen deer. I think they weren't expecting us since many people do not hike past sundown, because as the sun drops new dangers may arise. The deer's charming nature distracted us from our exhaustion, and in an hour's time we made it. Sore, beaten and blistered we arrived at Reds Meadow.
Ending 1:
When I think about the deer we saw at dusk, it's as if a bright light were shining upon them. In the darkest part of the evening those deer brought a moment of illumination. Most days those deer probably go unnoticed, but that evening I embraced their presence. Whether they are in the woods or at school, I know this journey will push me to seek new adventures.
Ending 2:
It was a great accomplishment to hike all that distance, but I also gained something else from the trip. I realize that nature is our natural element, one we most certainly feel at peace in. Even during the times when I was exhausted, the wood's serenity didn't allow for much anger or frustration. Nature also gave me place to bond with my dad and brother, something I will no longer take for granted. When I think back to those lush valleys and stunning mountain peaks, I will also remember what they taught me, for it was what I learned that gave the journey true worth.
Which ending should i choose? Thanks for the feedback!
UC Prompt 2- Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Lush valleys gave way to stunning mountain peaks. Mosquitoes so thick in the river valleys that repellent was futile. Creeks were born from the crystal clear waters of Duck and Purple Lakes. Rock passes tested not only wills but also imaginations. Last summer I went on my first backpacking trip with my dad and brother. Our destination was the Sierras. Before even going on the trip, I didn't think much of the physical aspect, considering I surf, snowboard, play golf and love the outdoors. I could not have been more wrong. Even though we were only going on a four-day trip, my father's friend, who is an avid backpacker, mapped our journey to about thirty-two miles; he thought we were going for twelve days.
The first two days we traveled seven miles a piece, carrying forty-pound packs plus water, heavy leather boots and high expectations. The third day we camped at Beetle Bug Lake to fish for rainbow trout. It was the fourth day that really tested us. We rose early, six am give or take. As my dad started to boil water for oatmeal, my brother and I started packing up the tent and sleeping bags. By seven am we were off. The first three miles went quickly; they were mostly downhill and we covered the distance in less than two hours. By noon we had made amazing time; just five hours into the day and we were already past the Ivy Bells Hot Springs.
It was two o'clock and spirits were high. Having already stopped for lunch, it was time to tackle the last eight of the eighteen miles to arrive at Reds Meadow. From the map it seemed that we just had one steep mile, and from there gradual terrain. We should have bought a better map. The steep mile was there, and it took us over an hour to cover it, but instead of being mostly flat, the remaining seven miles were pretty much all uphill. It was five o'clock and we were tiring, so much that we all decided on taking a nap. Once recharged, we were back at it. But it wasn't like the morning; we were no longer taking pictures of all the scenery, but just thinking about getting to Reds Meadow. Sundown was approaching, and the temperature was dropping. As we were starting to get out the flashlights, we ran into half a dozen deer. I think they weren't expecting us since many people do not hike past sundown, because as the sun drops new dangers may arise. The deer's charming nature distracted us from our exhaustion, and in an hour's time we made it. Sore, beaten and blistered we arrived at Reds Meadow.
Ending 1:
When I think about the deer we saw at dusk, it's as if a bright light were shining upon them. In the darkest part of the evening those deer brought a moment of illumination. Most days those deer probably go unnoticed, but that evening I embraced their presence. Whether they are in the woods or at school, I know this journey will push me to seek new adventures.
Ending 2:
It was a great accomplishment to hike all that distance, but I also gained something else from the trip. I realize that nature is our natural element, one we most certainly feel at peace in. Even during the times when I was exhausted, the wood's serenity didn't allow for much anger or frustration. Nature also gave me place to bond with my dad and brother, something I will no longer take for granted. When I think back to those lush valleys and stunning mountain peaks, I will also remember what they taught me, for it was what I learned that gave the journey true worth.
