Undergraduate / Leadership skills, development - Why do you want to study at Lingnan University? [6]

ok, so here's the question....Pls help me on the opening sentence...Do u think it's an appropriate beginning...If not then pls suggest a good beginning and check for any grammatical errors.

Why do you want to study at Lingnan University???

With the sun sinking into the horizon each day, my heart sank deeper than each passing day, as I saw my friends one after another boarding on big aero planes; flying onto distant lands to seek knowledge. Standing on the busy airport, I waved them "goodbye" and wondered, "When would I find the right university to apply?"

Looking at my saddened face my mother told me " why don't you apply to Lingnan University, that girl in the next building got a full scholarship from that uni." That was the time when I first heard of Lingnan. I eventually carried out my research finding the university to be among the top liberal arts institutions being extremely generous with overseas student scholarship. To facilitate the students in whole person development, LU has small class sizes enhancing teacher-student relationship, enriched campus life with students from diverse backgrounds. The integrated learning programme in campus will heighten my experience outside the classroom, excelling my interaction, organization and personal abilities. The university also helps its student develop analytical and critical thinking abilities through the service learning. The service learning will be a good way to deepen my leadership skills, intensify self-confidence and establish me as a well-rounded individual. In conclusion, studying in LU will give me a new perspective of life broadening my views and hereby allowing me to graduate as a trilingual, which I have always been looking forward to.

Letters / " Dear selection committee" ;Recommendation letter (economics class student) [8]

hey I have written a recommendation letter for me ...Pls give me your feedback on it. Also pls correct any grammatical mistakes...thanx in advance

Dear selection committee,

I am writing this letter to give my highest possible recommendation for Namia Akhtar. I haveknow Namia as a student in my A' level economics class. At our first meeting, I describedthe general outline of the course, and the effort she would have to put ins that she has to put on to achieve good grades. She asked intelligentgood questions and appeared intelligent. On our second meeting, Namia came up to me with questions she had solved from past test papers.solving some questions from the past test papers. She did this independently- I did not ask herto do this. I was overwhelmed by her motivation and sovereignty. She is among the best students out of my ten years of teaching.

Namia studied under difficult family circumstance, being that her father is a bed patient, and her mother takes care of the family by herself. with her father being a bed patient, and her mother having to look upon the family. Yet with these difficulties, she managed to receive full tuition merit scholarship from maple leaf international school for her outstanding O' level result to complete A' level. Despite her father's death a few weeks before her first sitting A' level exam she maintained (what does this mean??)AB with an overall A' level result of (what does this mean??)AAB. Her class performance was always "A", had she not suffered this loss, she would have attained an A in my class."A."

Namia always has a smile and a salaam for me and every other teacher, and she has and has a wonderful rapport with people of all ages. She has also helped juniors with studies, many of whom have commented on her pleasant as well as encouraging attitude.She had also helped her juniors with studies many of who have taken time to share their comments with me regarding her pleasant and encouraging attitude. Apart from being a good student, Namia has a strong sense of time management. She has never been late to class, nor has she ever handed in an assignment late

Namia has a good track in community service involvements and since November last year she has been volunteering in Jaago Foundation as a teaching assistant. In addition, also excels in and extracurricular activities. Her works were exhibited in Shilpakala Academy twice (October 2009 and July 2010) and last year, she received third prize in the national short film and documentary festival in photography. She also received awards for her talents in music, recitation and acting.

While a student at Maple leaf International School, Namia has always challenged herself academically. She is an active participant in class discussions, and grasps material quickly. She has superb written and verbal skills that are a pleasure for any teacher to encounter. As a professor I greatly appreciate such an energetic and inquisitive, diligent and clever student. When she told me her desire to study abroad, I expressed full support and encouraged her to work hard for her goal. As a professor of economics, I hereby recommend her to you without reservation that she will bring your university a new refreshing atmosphere. I hope you will lend her a helping hand with her application. If you have any further questions with regard to her background or qualifications, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Scholarship / to access world-class bachelor of social science degree program [3]

so Here's the question

How will you benefit from the scholarship? ( word limit 150)

Towards achieving my dream of making peace like the noble prizewinner Prof. Muhammad Yunus, the scholarship will play its bigger part. It will assist me financially to access world-class bachelor of social science degree, contributing towards my future goal. On majoring in economics, jobs will be within my reach as Hong Kong is the heart of international finance, having many multinational financial institutions set up its operation. Gaining a Hong Kong work experience will help me strengthening leadership skills and self-confidence preparing me as an entrepreneur. Following two years of work experience in Hong Kong, I plan of coming home and setting up a firm in the rural areas of Bangladesh, to create employment for the disadvantaged people. The company will be extended further to an English medium school providing free education to the children of the employees and other underprivileged children.

Pls tell me how I can improve it? looking forward to your help