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Posts by ratree
Joined: Mar 9, 2011
Last Post: Apr 8, 2011
Threads: 3
Posts: 11  

From: dhaka

Displayed posts: 14
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ratree   
Apr 8, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: Developed nation should tackle refugee problem [8]

hi hafsa,
thanks for your appriciation. To some extant I agree with you.Now in this world what are we seeing? Some of the refugees number are going to be high due to the action of developed countries , for their conflict with other countries specially with underdeveloped countries like Iraq, Afganistan, Libya. However, developed countries also help a lot by giving them shelter.

Hope its clear now
thanks

Ratree
ratree   
Apr 6, 2011
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL]Do you agree or disagree the young children spend most of their time playing? [6]

Hello Wu,
Few problems I notice in your essay writing that are few grammatical mistakes and there isn't any link from one sentence to other means sentence sequance have not maintained.

you can rephrase your para like : First of all, children development should be pressure free. Probably formal education make us knowledgeable and informative. But assessment prosedures are not that much effective as that create more pressure over children.

A lot of irrelavent words in your writing so i suggest you to rewrite.

best of luck.
ratree   
Apr 6, 2011
Grammar, Usage / help and tips in improving writing techniques [13]

Hello hafsa,
for improving writing there is no alternative of PRACTICE.Keep precticing.
try to read other writings and obviously that will help you to learn about sentece structure
Hope that will work

best of luck
ratree   
Mar 31, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: Developed nation should tackle refugee problem [8]

Please check my writing for my IELTS.your any kind of appropriate suggestion will be appreciated.I'm looking for band 7 in my IELTS writing.so please also suggest how could I improve my writing for IELTS.

IELTS Task 2: Academic
One of the major problems facing the world today is the growing number of refugees. Developed nation of the world should tackle this problem by taking more refugees. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Use your own idea, knowledge and view.


The number of refugees has grown to the point where truly it is a global problem and affects all of the nations. To solve this problem it is agreed that developed countries should help by allowing high level of immigration.

To escape from conflict, persecution and natural catastrophes, millions of refugees seek asylum to overdeveloped countries. One principal reason of why rich developed nations should permit more refugees is that it is a humanitarian issue because they suffer from hunger, ill health, security threat, and unemployment. Moreover, irrefutably world agitation and economical crisis both are linked with refugee problems as well as the refugees are creating chaos throughout the world for the protection of their existence. Thereby, civilized nations, by giving them a chance of settlement, can establish economical stability and world peace.

In addition, Host countries also receive indispensable benefits by allowing more refugees emigration. The newly Immigrants not only can contribute to the diversity of that society, which can help with tolerance and understanding but also immigrants offer an increased talent pool which is help to enhance host country's economy.

However, it is argued that it is not an open and shut case as there are numerous dire consequences of mass emigration. The multicultural experiments have not always been succeeding in Europe and emigrants have often suffered badly from racism and others prejudices. Furthermore, fugitives can also attract criminal elements, from trafficking in drugs and people to other forms of crime and corruption.

To sum up it is clearly seen that for host countries, refugee migration is not only create few problems but also they need support to survive. So, overdeveloped nations should agree to give them shelter.It is recommended that the whole world should work together to solve the prolems which create emigration.
ratree   
Mar 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / Ielts Graph (mortality and funding on different diseases) [8]

Hello Aria,
It is a nice writing but it will be more nice if you give attention on few matters:

1.As far I know both of them are bar Charts.

2 graphsTwo bar charts shows

2. Timing is important.As the time period was 1990.so u must write everything in past tense.But here you mixed which is major mistake in IELTS Exam:research doesdid not distribute properly ...

TB hashad the highest number of the death in 1990

overall writting is good
ratree   
Mar 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS about if creative artists can express their ideas in any way they like [4]

Hi BrookW,
your pattarn of writing is quite good but It will be more better I believe If you work some on following:

1.Its argumentative essay so its better to give some ideas of other people thought in introduction like 'Although there are some strong argument for ....however I disagree the concept of....'

2.Better to avoid abbreviation . Instead of etc better to write Etcetera. .

3. you wrote in your 3rd para' it may negatively impact our society'...what are those negative impacts?Children are misleded but how? try to elaborate that as it is your main supporting idea.

your writing idea is really good.work limit excellent 260 words.look at your time 40 mins.
thanks
ratree   
Mar 23, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS: the benefits of global cooperation [7]

Please check my essay for IELTS.How could I improve?I need 7 in ielts writing.

Question: some peole think that the main benefit of global cooperation is in the protection of environment but othes believe the main benefit is in world business.Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

In this globalization era, the world seems like a global village where international cooperation is urgently needed to deal with some crucial issues like starvation, poverty, environmental damage, economical crisis. Although which sector is benefited more by global cooperation has been a debated issue, some people argued that environmental protection has been received more profit than others. However, I believe that international trade are benefitted more by global collaboration.

It is obviously true that environmental damage and its protection is one of the most prioritised issues throughout the world. World leaders now have realized and agreed to work together to prevent the fatal consequences of environmental damage. For example Kyoto protocol was signed and ratified by 191 countries to work together to halt the progression of climate change. They were committed for reduction of greenhouse gas emission by 5.2%.Some countries now work harder to reduce the emission of green house gas from industries, vehicles by introducing strict rules and regulation. Worldwide the efforts against deforestation have been taken which is identified as one of the major signification cause of climate change. Developed countries now donate a huge amount of money to the developing nations who are more often vulnerable to climate change effects.

On the other hand, global cooperation contributes a lot to develop global trade. Free trade between countries increases now which causes the availability of product internationally and promote competition. For instance American i pod or iphone now in the pocket of almost everyone. Moreover it is claimed that multinational companies and industries move to low wages developing countries.Therefore creating a lot of job opportunities for the people of that regions.

In conclusion, by working together whole world have done a lot for world commerce and environmental protection but still couldn't achieve the target or halt the progression of climate change. Steps taken by international cooperation are not only insufficient but also non benefited for environmental protection.
ratree   
Mar 23, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Compulsory military service for all countries [4]

hi suyper,
here i would like to add that,question is very important.from one of my IELTS teacher i heard that it would be better if you give your opinion according to your question in your introduction paragraph.so do you agree or disagree the statement.if you are inbetween of these two then it will be better to write ''In some extant...'

thanks.
ratree   
Mar 16, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Government should build more nuclear power plant as it is eco friendly. [6]

Government should build more nuclear power plant as it is eco friendly but other people oppose this view. Describe the both sides of view and the give your opinion.

Please help by checking my Ielts writing:

My ANSWAR:

Nowadays, nuclear energy is a well known term. In the meantime whether it is a blessing or curse has a sparked heated debate. Some people support that atomic power has a fundamentally beneficial influence in our lives. While, other contend that it has a detrimental effect as well. However, after analysing the merits and demerits of nuclear energy, here I will not support the government to build more nuclear power plants.

One of the most significant benefits of nuclear energy is that it becomes an alternative source of energy when other natural resources like oil, coal, gas has become scarce. Nuclear reaction releases a million times more energy , as compared to hydro or wind power which now generates electricity. Moreover, very less fuel is required by nuclear power plant to produce energy compared with other fossil fuels. Furthermore, nuclear energy has been justified as a cut of carbon dioxide emissions and thereby counters the effect of climate change. By using nuclear power, it is possible to prevent the devastating effect of global warming caused by contemporary energy sources .Another compelling reason of building nuclear power plant is that it requires very small space, even possible to built nuclear village in a small restricted area.

There are, however, equally strong arguments against the development of nuclear power plant. Perhaps, the most dangerous things of nuclear plant is that its expulsion of radiation which is more hazardous for both human and environment. By damaging human cell it only makes people sick but also may become the cause of death. The devastating effect of radiation may last for a long time. For example, during the World War II, 1945 Hiroshima and Nagashaki, the two cities of Japan were affected by nuclear bombing where 2 million people died within a week of attack but still genetically defected child are born there due to the result of nuclear radiation. In addition to, the highly radioactive waste emitted from nuclear power plant is very hazardous. Once released, it lasts for tens of thousands of years before decaying to safe level. It is also supported that for terrorists, nuclear plants would be the highest target zone to disrupt power supply and devastate the entire region. Nuclear weapons from nuclear energy can be another thread for entire mankind. Another strong reason against nuclear power plant is that it requires large capital cost and around 15-20 years time, professional handling, costly uranium are required to build a single nuclear plan.

In conclusion, after analyzing of pros and cons of nuclear energy it is clearly seen that nuclear plant have a lot of negative effects on this world. Thereby it is suggested that instead to develop nuclear power plant; government should think any other alternative eco friendly sources of energy like wind, tidal power.