Writing Feedback / to change is to risk something ,making us feel insecure .SAT writing ESSAY [3]

My SAT Writing Task

Assignment

to change is to risk something ,making us feel insecure .Not to change is a bigger risk , though we seldom feel that way .There is no choice but to change .People however ,cannot be motivated to change from outside .All of our motivation comes from within.

Adapted from Ward Sybouts ,Planning in School Administration : A Handbook

Assignment What motivates people to change ? plan and write and essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue .Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading ,studies,experience or observations.

My essay

Our life is full of changes .We always try to accept this situation.We try but sometimes we feel this is not safe or we feel ourselves at risk .For that reason sometimes we hesitate to change But I think that being the same mood or style is also bad thing .This is also boring

I think that like every decisions changes have reason why we change or what motivates us to change .In my opinion it depends on people .For instance ; if someone bored with wearing same style clothes ,listening same type of songs ,changes reason is boredom .Sometimes we fall in love we change for our love partners .This motivates us to change for someone .

Nevertheless frequently changing is also bored person . Jumping one style to another or changing social life every time .This will make person sad and his/her life make meaningless or ridiculous

Finally , I think that changing is good but doing something more reduce or lose this thing value changing is not exception.

Undergraduate / 'school deals with computers' - extracurricular activies or work experience [3]

please help me this is short answer essay check my essay it must be 150 words or fewer

My activity outside of school deals with computers.When my father bought me a computer i began to learn everything about computer.First i learned Microsoft office .Later I tried harder one such as Photoshop. I tried a lot in this software and I watched tutorials from youtube. Finally i learned moreover this also aware of my designing feeling.Then i wanted to create a website.For that reason i learned web page maker software .I can create any website and this affect my aim .Now i want to be a professional web developer.

Please deeply check because it is fro universities common app form

Writing Feedback / Should students who work very hard in a course earn very high grades,SAT WRITING [5]

TASK
Whenever Social Studies teacher Karen Greene sits down to grade a stack of papers, she
wonders what the grades really mean and whether they convey useful information about student
learning to the students themselves, to parents, counselors, or even to colleges.
While most would agree that the general purpose of grading is to provide feedback on
student performance, finding consensus on what criteria to use for grading is a different
story. Should Karen reward high grades to a hard-working student with very low skills and
limited achievement? Or should she risk discouraging the student by giving him the D that
his work really warranted? What about grading a student capable of doing excellent work
when she puts her mind to it but who rarely does the work? An F for lack of effort might
prod her to work harder, but would it accurately reflect the real quality of her work?
Adapted from Lisa Birk, Harvard Education Letter, October 2004
Assignment: Should students who work very hard in a course earn very high grades, or should achievement
rather than effort determine students' grades? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of
view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your observations, experience,
studies, or reading.

ESSAY
I agree that general purpose of grading is complex topic.And we should provide that how we can grade ones.I think that there are two ways for grading ;first way according to students who work very hard in a course second way academic achievement.I agree first one because teacher can only know students with their works not academic achievement.

Firstly we should support first point of view .For instance,Person who works very hard and always try to do the best in all semester has right to expect high grade however when we compare this person with one who doesn't work hard and he/she only has achievement we can see the big differences .I think that at school first important thing for students who want to get high grade is working very hard .Only this way students can show themselves to the teacher.

Nevertheless some people think academic achievement is also important for grading .They think it is possible to get high grade without working very hard .They suppose teacher can determine students' grades only academic achievement it sounds ridiculous .

To summarize the topic in my opinion it would be better if the teachers pay attention both of them academic achievement and working very hard .Because only this way teacher completely grade students without any doubt.

please check i hope it will be not bad

Writing Feedback / Without a clear goal to focus our energy and drive us to grow, we cease to be truly alive. [2]

I am preparing for SAT .And actually i don't know exactly structure please if you know write and correct my essay.I scanned essay task and my first draft .please check

ESSAY TASK
Without a clear goal to focus our energy and drive us to grow, we cease to be truly alive.
We are inert particles floating on the sea of life. This is true of not only ourselves, but our
institutions-our families, our corporations, and our societies. The moment we cease to
grow, we begin to die.
Assignment: Is growth necessary to a happy and productive life? Write an essay in which you
answer this question and discuss your point of view on this issue. You may discuss personal
or institutional growth. Support your position logically with examples from literature,
the arts, history, politics, science and technology, current events, or your experience
or observation.
if you cant read or see my essay please click link below.
mediafire.com/?gvqaqr1h45a6hg3

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  Essay Task
  
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  My first Draft
  

Writing Feedback / Do you believe that experimentation on animals for scientific purposes is justified [3]

IELTS writing task 2 please check and write band form 1-9

Do you believe that experimentation on animals for scientific purposes is justified.
Are there any alternatives to animal experimentation?

The subject of experimentation on animals is a complex one. Ever body use this for different aims. Such people use for a scientific purpose, and they think that it is justifiable.

First of all, we should start by taking a look at a purpose of experimentation on animals. Nowadays, mostly animals are using for cosmetic products. For instance , such company want to release new product for making more money. They must be practice this for that reason they use animals instead of humans. I disagree with this because I think that companies can make a profit without doing experimentation on animals.

Secondly turning to the second purpose is for making drugs. Today every time scientists invent new drugs, and they do not know it will affect bad or good. They think that animals bodies are more likely suitable for testing than human's bodies. However, with this way they can damage the animals bodies and in the future animals begin to suffer from different complaints or diseases. Furthermore, it will also completely ruin animal's life, they will be poisonous or they can die for only one's practice.

In conclusion, I think that experimentation on animals for a specific purpose such as cosmetic or scientific are not justified. We should use another way for our experimentation. Because we should think that we will get success with this experiment. However, we will also ruin some animal's life completely.

Writing Feedback / Education is dominant factor for development of country [5]

i am preparing for IELTS and i want to improve my Writing please read my essay and write score and wrongs

The Statement
Some people say that the education system is the only critical factor to development of a country.To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

It is true that there are some factors can influence development of a country .I think that education system is more influenced development of country than other factors .Because people can get more experienced or professionalized with education and this change country position.But I am also agree not only education system ,other factors such as technology can influenced development .

No one can deny education is most important factor.We see that year by year developed countries getting improve ,under developed get improve with slight differences.Because developed countries have good education barrier we can say for instance : USA,UK,Canada etc.When we revise the universities ranking we can see that first places only developed countries universities.

Nevertheless we cant say only education system influenced development of country.In my opinion also technology can influenced this .Because nowadays countries compete each other for this .They always try to invent new technology or up-to-date with this way they can influenced of country development.

In conclusion ,education is dominant factor for development of country but only education cant influenced this .To my mind if other factors gathered .it would completely influenced development of country.