Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Armaan M
Joined: Dec 20, 2011
Last Post: Dec 31, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 16  

From: Canada

Displayed posts: 18
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Armaan M   
Dec 22, 2011
Undergraduate / 'student had been talking to me' - Why Duke? - Duke Engage [4]

You got straight to the point and I think it worked really well. Just read it over really slowly once cause there is some awkward phrasing, But i think Duke will be hard pressed to decline your application.

Check out my cornell supplement essay :)
Armaan M   
Dec 22, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Scars become scabs' -Commonapp Main Essay [6]

I actually really liked the essay. I think the admissions officers will not have seen an essay like this one before. I would however, suggest putting more emphasis on how the epiphany has changed you as an individual. Perhaps cut some of the intro and add some body details.

Check out my cornell supplement too, i really need help!
Armaan M   
Dec 22, 2011
Undergraduate / How Is Life Structured - Cornell [5]

It is really good but I feel like the last paragraph was just tacked on to answer the prompt. I am writing the same essay and I think I may have done that too!

Check mine out if you have a sec
Armaan M   
Dec 22, 2011
Undergraduate / 'My Inspiration' - Cornell Essay College of Arts and Sciences [8]

Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

Do I answer why Cornell is right for me enough?

My Inspiration

Jagged protrusions of rock shot out of the crystal clear ocean. Almost like Gaia's own two fingers, the huge pillars of earth towered above our small powerless boat. We were about to jump into the Pacific Ocean with nothing but a few snorkels. I was the first one to take the leap.

From complete light to complete darkness, my dive poked a tiny hole into the grandiose expanse of water. I will never forget the sight I saw upon opening my eyes. A sixteen foot long Eagle Ray was gliding a mere two inches beneath my head! I was no longer scared; I was simply struck by the sheer awe of the scene. Such a massive creature was living in such a serene place. The ocean held me tightly and the humungous rocks shaded me from the hot Ecuadorian sun. Everything was perfect.

I fell in love. It was at that moment - five miles from San Cristobal - that my appreciation for nature became intertwined with my curriculum based knowledge of biology. For the rest of my time on the Galapagos Islands, I was seized by a genuine desire to learn about everything around me. It was like a dream: through some kind of magical moment of enlightenment, my view of the world was forever altered.

Today I see things for their natural beauty. Who would have predicted that a school trip to the Galapagos Islands would have totally reworked the foundation of my outlook on life? This once in a lifetime experience changed my development by adding grace to my intellectual endeavors. Now I read biological journals and lab reports because I cannot live without them; now I spend time conducting research with the science department supervisor because it makes me feel alive. Beit slowing down electrons in a compact fluorescent light bulb with liquid nitrogen or engineering bacteria to glow by injecting jellyfish plasmids, my thirst for insight into the natural world is insatiable. Through scientific pursuits, I am able to find the perfect balance between the concrete and the amorphous.

At Cornell, I will definitely major in biological sciences. Quite simply, biology excites me. It is an amalgamation of each and every aspect of my intellectual self. Studying biology involves creative critical thinking, an unwavering curiosity and absolute passion. The College of Arts and Sciences is dream come true for a student like myself. I have been following the research topics and opportunities in Cornell for quite some time; I am fascinated by Cynthia Leifer's research of immunology and microbiology. In the future, I aspire to becoming a surgeon at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, where I will simultaneously push the boundaries of medical research.

I have reached a point in my life where I face another leap. There is a vast ocean of opportunity before me. As I dive head first into the next chapter of my life, I can only hope to see Cornell in the depths as I once saw the glorious eagle ray...
Armaan M   
Dec 21, 2011
Undergraduate / 'write down the number quickly' Harvard, Stanford, Yale - a person who influenced you [3]

Hey thanks for your comment on my Stanford romantic essay! I really enjoyed reading this, but I agree with Talia. The last paragraph doesnt have the same pizazz as the rest of your piece. I would almost end it at the second last paragraph with the "...and to become the heart and pride of Egypt". This last sentence shows a nice tie back into your intro
Armaan M   
Dec 21, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I am a Romantic' - Stanford Letter to Future Roommate [13]

Mikaela, I did not want it to read like that. But i agree it can be misinterpreted. My hope is to open with something unique and hopefully different from "Dear Roommate". How does "Dear dreamer," sound?
Armaan M   
Dec 21, 2011
Undergraduate / "Our Perception"-Common App essay [5]

Yah I think it would boost your ethos if you dropped "metacognition" a couple times. Also, I recommend changing "swears" to "profanities". I personally think that would read better.

Check my stanford supplement out
Armaan M   
Dec 21, 2011
Undergraduate / Yale Supp't Essay- The Trouble with Math [7]

I thought it was quite an interesting essay. I would just read it over once super slowly and fix some of the awkward phrasing.

If you have time check out my stanford supplement essay

Also one more thing, is indenting necessary on the common app? Cause when I put in indents, it automatically takes them out.
Armaan M   
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I am a Romantic' - Stanford Letter to Future Roommate [13]

Dear equally qualified intellectual,
Before I go any further, I would like to extend my congratulations. We were accepted into Stanford!
As I stare at this task, I contemplate the best way for me to infuse myself into each and every word of this note. I could tell you about my love for golf, tennis or even my avid passion for boxing. But you will quickly discover these aspects of my character as we tee off on the first hole of Stanford Golf Course.

I must somehow capture the essence of myself in a single word. Simply put, I am a romantic. No, I won't serenade you with a violin as you walk into our dorm; nor will I hide a bag of roses above our door such that it will rain flowers when someone enters. I am no Tom Sawyer. But I do believe that true beauty occurs when art and science intertwine. You will find that I love to play the alto saxophone between studying for molecular biology exams. I am also a wicked cook. My favorite dish to make is my snow crab and pea risotto garnished with roasted walnuts. I incorporate science into cooking by experimenting with molecular gastronomy (I am sure you will love my liquid nitrogen chocolate ice cream recipe).

My romantic nature is also obvious in my acting. In fact, you should watch out for me in Mission Impossible Four as I actually bump into Tom Cruise! I can't guarantee that you won't hear me practicing lines or slipping into characters while we are roommates, but I can guarantee that you will love my Shaggy impersonation and my Indian accent.

I can't wait to get to know you in the near future.
Cheers,
Armaan Malhotra
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