Undergraduate / 'the field of biomedical engineering' - UPenn Supplement [8]

Hey there! The deadlines for practically everywhere are way too close for comfort, so thanks a bunch for taking time to read and (hopefully) critique this!

Prompt: Considering both the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying and the unique aspects of the University of Pennsylvania, what do you hope to learn from and contribute to the Penn community? (Please answer in one page, approximately 500 words.)

I am the queen of multitasking. It's true - I have been known to write an English essay, solve an Agatha Christie mystery, play Strauss' entire "An der schönen blauen Donau" on the piano, finish some thirty-odd review questions for next day's Physics test, design a psychology experiment for extra credit, darn three holey socks, watch two episodes of BBC's "Sherlock", and hand-wash the dishes all in one night. To facilitate multitasking with ease, my desk is haphazardly organized ("haphazardly" being the key word) into sections: the upper left is dedicated to my improvised writing utensil organizer, fashioned with two mugs, a metal case, string, and two small magnets. The upper middle is where my textbooks sit nicely in their upright stands, taking up as little room as possible. The bottom right holds a small pile of books. There is an empty space at the bottom left corner for my laptop - I'm left-handed. In addition, I believe there is no such thing as "procrastination" and as such, I have never hesitated to pursue other interests alongside my main attraction.

The main attraction in question is the field of biomedical engineering. I want to dedicate my time and effort to synthesize medical devices that will improve the field of medicine and the day-to-day lives of others. Just considering that, there are already several good reasons to attend Penn. One: a first-rate, academically rigorous biomedical engineering program, with the added bonus of the Ivy League stamp on it. Two: Penn's Global Biomedical Service program would allow me to gain valuable hands-on experience while improving patients' quality of life, and enjoy traveling as well. Three: just in case I should change my mind, the BSE and BAS programs are similar enough to facilitate a smooth transition. Four: Penn's variety of research opportunities, from iSURE to the various research centers scattered around campus, would keep my mind working year-round. Factor in my attraction to fields outside the realm of engineering, and Penn becomes even better suited to my psyche. I know and appreciate the value of multitasking - so Penn's emphasis on interdisciplinary education is exactly what I'm looking for. It's rare that virtually any class in any school is available to an undergrad the way it is at Penn - I can see myself going from calculus to cognitive neuroscience with great ease and convenience, since the buildings are all located in close proximity to each other.

What I can bring to Penn is not nearly as extensive as what Penn can bring to me. Sadly, a new building or a hefty research grant is beyond me. However, I believe that the most important contributions need not appear grand and impressive straight off the bat - an eagerness to learn, a quick and creative mind, appreciation for school spirit, and steadfast resilience against freezing winters are all attributes of mine that would uphold Penn's excellence, whether in general or in innovation (and year-round too, I might add). And perhaps, with time and a top-notch education at Penn, that new building might not be so out of reach.

So, that's my Penn supplement. Good? Bad? Please do tell me if that last sentence was too arrogant-sounding - what I was going for was cheeky, not egotistical. I notice I tend to come off as pretty arrogant in some of my writing - especially my IB app essay. I looked it over last night and wanted to slap myself really damn hard. It's a wonder I was accepted at all... Anyway, I'm having doubts as to keeping it, and I don't want to resort to eenie meenie minie moe, so your feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Undergraduate / Personal Essay "Nomad", topic of your choice [8]

So I foolishly postponed writing my essays till now, and the deadlines are either Jan 1 or 2. To be fair, I wasn't really serious about applying to the States until November (I'm a Canadian), but oh well. So, here's my common app essay, coming in at exactly 500 words (!!!). Any criticism you would like to contribute is VERY, VERY welcome.

Please write an essay (250-500 words) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself. I chose "Topic of Your Choice" (obviously).

Nomad

There have been times in my life when I've looked back on my childhood and wished for an idyllic suburban upbringing and everything that accompanies it - the lifelong friends, the swing set in the backyard, and a thoroughly routine life. Instead of a family sedan, I had greyhound buses, trains, and airplanes. I was a regular nomad. And like any proper nomad, I never stayed in one place for more than half a decade.

There are four chapters in the story of my life. The first was set in China, shrouded in the mist of infantile amnesia. My earliest memory is of the day I left at the tender age of five: I remember going to my kindergarten school and taking my naptime blanket away with me. It may not seem so, but that act evoked confusion, fear, and devastation in me. It was the moment my five-year-old self understood the finality of my departure, and just how much I was leaving behind.

The second chapter of my life began in Belgium. I lived in Liège, a little Francophone city. I took to French life like a duck takes to water. The memories from Liège come in snippets: Leo chocolate bars; a mysterious puddle on my bedroom floor the morning after a classmate slept over; spitting chewed-up raw carrots into the garbage; flipping over a 'death' tarot card; secret rendezvous under foliage in the poppy field; wearing a one-shouldered purple shirt for a school dance. Those memories colour a canvas of four years. The day I left Liège, I cried for the four years I had spent building a new life for myself, gone to waste.

The third chapter of my life was spent in Toronto. By then, I knew my way around the relocation game. I soaked English up and spit it out like a native speaker within months. Memories from this chapter are more detailed and less disjointed than those from the last: not knowing to rise for the national anthem on the first day of school; the shy kindness of a soon-to-be best friend; bitter disappointment over elimination at the Regional Spelling Bee; singing 'Over the Rainbow' in front of the class. Just when I'd gotten comfortable, the inevitable happened - we were moving, after four years in Toronto. This time, I grieved with a dry face. I told myself that I could do it a third time. I told myself that I'd genuinely enjoyed exploring new places, new faces and new cultures. I boarded the plane with cautious optimism.

That's how I arrived in Vancouver. Five years have passed, and now I face uprooting for the fourth time in my life. This time, though, I know that I can make a home in any place I choose, and that when I leave a world behind me, I enter another just as wonderful to inhabit. Now, I face the future with the cultures of three continents behind me, and the possibility of even more in the horizon.

Is it just me, or was I a little colon-happy? That's strictly in the grammatical sense, not in the biological sense :)