Undergraduate / 'my clear sense of goal' - Personal attribute I'm proud of (MIT admission) [4]

What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about.

Any advices, critics or suggestions are welcome.

Of all qualities, I take the greatest pride in my clear sense of goal. Comprised of the ability to read several steps ahead, unyielding determination and sheer perseverance, it often evoked awe and admiration in peers and seniors alike, especially in those who were previously sceptic towards my efforts.

Such a case was when I was trying to apply for Bauman university in Moscow. My school teachers kept saying that this university was out of my reach while classmates made fun of my goal of entering it. Despite all that, I continued to pursue my dream. Eventually, I was admitted and, when I brought the admission papers to school, those who had laughed and jeered at me quickly changed their attitude to that of commendation and respect.

Now, as I am trying to enter MIT, once again I get a great deal of mockery, this time from my work colleagues and university group mates. "It is impossible," some say, "You cannot do this". Even though they may be right, I have alredy given up on too much to turn back. So, once again, I am doing my best to stay true to my goal. After all, this is the path I have chosen, so I will walk it to the end.

(211 words)

Undergraduate / Hobby & Department short essays (MIT admission) [5]

Any advice or criticism is welcome.
The word limit for both essays is 100 words.

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it.

My greatest passion lies in competing.
This hobby comes in various forms with one common trait, the desire to best others, and is not limited to games or sports. With the right mindset, even trivial matters like studying, eating or talking can be turned into interesting contests. As I have tried to keep this mentality at all times, I have found that such small competitions not only serve as a powerful motive for self-improvement, but they can also turn even the most boring, tedious tasks into a very thrilling experience. It all depends on how you see them!

(98 words)

Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why?

When it comes to choosing my major, there is no doubt in my mind that I want to study in the field of computer science.

I have been around computers ever since I was little, and I have always been fascinated by their controversial nature: while they abide by a strict set of instructions, they still leave vast space for creativity.

As I grew older, I started learning programming, systems administration, and cybernetics, which only strenghened my attraction and aspired me to work with such machinery.

(86 words)

Undergraduate / Something important that didn't go according to plan (MIT admission essay) - feedback [3]

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?

Is the story clear enough? Is it described coherently? Any piece of advice or criticism is welcome.
One of specific questions: when we got back to the camp I was still carrying Daria on my back, so "they took Daria away from me" means that she could walk what little left without my help, with support of others. How to describe it in a way that won't make the reader think that someone robbed me of my backpack (and would it create such a feeling at all?)?

"Have you seen Daria? She still hasn't come back"
"Wasn't she with you?"
"We had a fight, so I went back first"
"And you just left her out there?!" I shouted as I rushed off into the woods.

It was evening of the first day of our camping trip. We had set the camp at the Volga river bank, far from civilization, and the group had split into pairs to search the area for resources. Daria was one of the newcomers who met the wilderness for the first time.

By the time I found her, sitting against the tree and crying, the sun had already set. A brief inspection showed that Daria had sprained her ankle while trying to find her way back and couldn't walk any further. Thus, we decided to stop for the night with intention of retracing my steps after the darkness lifts. But as I stood watch at the campfire, a light rain erased all traces I left upon coming. In the morning we started walking in the direction that seemed like it would lead us to the camp. However, it was not before the next sunset that we have reached Volga, about 30km upstream from the camp. But at least then we knew where we were and where we had to go.

As we have finally reached the camp on the following morning and they took Daria away from me, my legs finally gave way and I fell on the ground, shaking from head to toe. The group turned to me with puzzled expressions. "I just realised how scared I was," I said with a forced smile. "Took you long enough!" one of them laughed as he helped me stand up.

Undergraduate / 'The research group' - the world you come from. (MIT admission essay) [6]

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?

Please, provide feedback on how to improve this essay and, if it matters much, trim it down from 301 to 250 words. Both grammatical and structure advices are more than welcome.

Having spent most of my childhood travelling all over the country, following my mother's job as a state engineer, I have always felt distant from the world and the people around me, thinking, "Soon we will move, and I will never meet them again, so how do they matter?" I would often prefer to spend my free time on reading instead of going outdoors with other children. Over the years, I have formed a habit of doing everything alone, without any help.

However, my way of thinking was changed by the event that provided a groundbreaking experience. It was after my family has settled down that I entered university undergraduate program. After initial testing me and several other prospective students were gathered to form a research team and assigned to professor Alekseev who taught information security in the same university.

"Don't like your research group? Feel free to change it, then," the professor answered to my complaints, closing our first team meeting. Later, when the final lists were out I found out that he had assigned me as coordinator to the same group. At first, the only thing we did was fight with each other all the time. The professor shrugged at my complaints: "Everything is in your hands." Thus, I decided to try to understand my teammates and approach them accordingly. And as I did that I discovered just how easy it was to set my group on the right track. Old grudges were quickly forgotten as we started working towards the common goal.

After the project was done, I thought back about it: what started as an annoyance ended up being a very enjoyable experience. Since then, more than once I was shown that positive attitude and an open mind are necessary for success no matter what you do.