Letters / 'Grades mean academic potential?' - USC Letter of appeal [7]

If anyone has experinces with the appeals process any information would be very help full this is the beginning of my appeals letter suggestions are greatly appreciated ...

Grades are said to reflect academic potential but for me this is not the case. I do not feel that my grades adequately reflect my academic potential. Throughout high school I struggled with my health; it affected my overall academic performance. I am no longer dealing with those same issues that plagued almost all of my high school experience and now have the opportunity to grow into the person I aspire to be. Education has always been very important to me. I had decided to take numerous advanced placement courses due to my desire to learn and challenge myself in a higher level setting. Despite not obtaining the required credit to pass some of those courses I know I have the capability to succeed in courses of the same level of difficulty. It is impossible to change the past and as much as I have dwelled over this subject there is no way I can go back and change the course of events. There is nothing I can do, but move on and work even harder to correct my past mistakes. I do not wish to be defined by those courses in which I did not pass, but instead to be defined by the potential which I possess and the motivation in which my dreams are being framed into action. I was always belittled by school counselors when I told them of my academic goals, because of those courses. My counselor did not believe I had the potential to finish those two English courses on independent study, but I was able to contradict her belief when I finished an entire English semester course in less than two weeks with A as my final grade. I was able to finish both English courses three months ahead of schedule. I want college to be my opportunity to start over completely new. It's extremely difficult convincing others especially through paper of the potential I feel inside, but I know I can do great things.

Scholarship / 'What i have learned in young women ambassadors' - SCHOLARSHIP ESSAY [2]

Scholarship essay any corrections are greatly appreciated

"What i have learned in young women ambassadors that will help me as a future learder"

Young Women Ambassadors is a program that has taught me a variety of skills that will be beneficial to my future, but the most significant of all, was that it taught me to believe in myself. All through high school I struggled with my self-confidence; I dreaded having people look at me because I was scared and didn't want them to know. I spent more time looking down than up. Even at my first YWA meeting I felt so intimidated walking into a room full of girls that had that self-confidence. When the topic of toastmasters was being introduced my heart sank, and my anxiety started to rise. I didn't want to go up on that stage. As the meetings continued my confidence improved. The environment was friendly and that allowed me to step a little out of my comfort zone without the fear of being ridiculed. I could see that I was not the only one that was scared to get up on that stage, but after watching so many other girls do it; it didn't seem that scary.

Young Women Ambassadors helped me see the leadership potential I had hidden inside. It was the fear of speaking out that held me back so many years, but I am no longer afraid to present my ideas to others and receive their opinions. I enjoyed listening to all the speakers at the meetings, I took their words to heart and they motivated me and inspired me to step up and reach my full potential.

My favorite topic of the YWA program is community service. I remember that presentation so clearly- The way the speakers described the way that helping others changed their lives. They spoke about in a way that for me seemed incredible. They were so passionate about their topic that tears flowed from their eyes. It was an experience that had a positive impact on their lives. Community service is a topic I want to be able to speak about in the way respect. I want to make a difference in someone's life. The way I currently do this is as a tutor. I tutor elementary and high school students. There are some times when some of the students don't understand as quickly as others and give up. To ensure success into those I help, I look for a way to approach the subject. The moment their eyes light up, I can see that they truly understand the topic. It is a satisfying feeling knowing I helped someone, and encouraged them to focus on academics. Tutoring young children is an opportunity to encourage them to pursue bright futures through education. I want to be a role model for them. The motivation I hold for myself also serves to encourage others.

Another aspect of the program that has impacted me greatly is the mentorship program. Having a mentor is a great experience, not only have I learned more about my intended career field but it has also helped me learn from the guidance of my mentor. There was one piece of advice that my mentor, Mrs. Debra Kaye, gave me that I really created a connection with. I was explaining to her how sometimes I feel that I do not possess the qualities to make me a successful engineer but she explained to me her mentality when her spirits are low and she is dissatisfied with her line of work. Her words were around "I don't have to work, I don't have to continue on with this job, I want to" She works ensuring the quality of water we drink daily. It's a responsibility that holds people's lives at stake. It's exactly that mentality that keeps my dreams in sight. I don't have to do anything; my choices are justified by my drive to become a better individual. This justifies my academic choices: I don't have to take AP classes, I want to. I want to succeed, I want to learn, and I want to challenge myself. I choose to take all those AP classes to be better prepared in a college setting. I want to succeed. This also explains my reason for wanting to become an engineer I want to find out about the way things work and the possibilities of improving them.

YWA has inspired me to reach my full potential. It has inspired me to continue on with my education to become a role model for those around me. A leader is a role model that others can aspire to emulate, as I aspire to emulate the women I have met through the program.

Undergraduate / 'Aeronautics is one field of engineering' - USC DESCRIBE YOUR ACADEMIC INTERESTS [3]

Suggestions and corrections greatly appreciated

Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your- first and second- choice major selections.

I have always been fascinated with the way things work where design meets function and purpose. I notice design in everything from fashion to buildings to airplanes and marvel over the creativity that inspired those elements. I plan to pursue a future that will allow me to incorporate design through engineering or possibly architecture. Aeronautics is one field of engineering that draws my interest. It is the dynamics behind flight that interest me most, the factors that allow aircrafts to fly at such great elevations and high speeds and how those designs continue to improve. Every time a fighter pilot jet flies overheard, some people complain about the noise, I on the other hand stand in amazement dreaming of the day I will be able to create that amazing piece of machinery. I not only want to be able to design an aircraft but also want to fly one and explore the world of the skies unknown. I find engineering to be so complex and astonishing. It is remarkable to witness what centuries before, was only a dream of mankind to soar with the birds, an idea that challenged the views of society and revolutionized the world. I also find great interest in the field of biomedical engineering it is a study that applies science and mathematics to improve human health. I was watching a lecture that explained exactly what biomedical engineering was; it captured my interest, and is a topic I would want to learn more about. Both types of engineering improve the way we live our lives, I want to be one of those that contributes to the improvement and development of the world. College is the place that will allow me to make these interests a reality. It is the place to learn and enhance the skills needed to be a successful engineer. USC provides superior education along with the opportunity to gain the experience necessary to succeed in the field of engineering. "Learn by doing" is a motto I hope to follow, to through new experiences and opportunities provided through a USC education.

Undergraduate / 'struggled heavily with depression' - Pepperdine essay [2]

Revisions greatly appreciated , does this answer the prompt?

Pepperdine University is a Christian university committed to the highest standards of academic excellence and Christian values, where students are strengthened for lives of purpose, service, and leadership. How are you prepared to contribute to Pepperdine's mission and community of faith, learning, and service?

When I was younger I struggled heavily with depression. It affected every aspect of my life- the relationship I had with my parents, with god, and my academic standing in school. My depression worsened throughout high school, but in time, I was able to leave that aspect of my life behind, strengthen my relationship with god and start anew. It was overcoming my depression that changed my life for the better and made me a more positive motivated individual, a motivated individual that strives to help others.

My depression worsened when I discovered I had a tumor. I did not have a close relationship with anyone not even god and did not know what to do. I felt like there was no point in trying anymore since I was going to die soon. I was at my rock bottom. I knew I needed a change to improve my life. I began to look into my faith and started going to my church's youth group. My relationship with god began to grow again.

When I had my tumor removed it was as if my life started over again; as if I was given another opportunity to make something out of my life, to find my purpose. My attitude changed completely from a negative to a positive; I was no longer depressed and looked forward to the future.

Motivation is the quality I am most proud to have. I strive for the best and have a positive outlook on life. I want to make something out of my life. When I walked into the first class of my senior year the first thing I saw was a poster of a skyline above it a lightning storm. The word "ELECTRYING" was bolded across the bottom, underneath that it read "imagine having an enthusiasm that electrifies others". This poster described me. Lightning is the symbol I associate with motivation. It is the symbol that I identify with myself.

My purpose I believe is to help others. I enjoy volunteering and am close to more than 500 hours of service. I volunteer a variety of ways but recently I have become more involved with my church. I am now a part of a group: Inland Congregations United for Change. It is a faith based organization focused on improving aspects of our community. Together we are currently working on setting up a community center, a place where students can go to exercise, study, and learn a variety of skills. One aspect of this project would also be to set up a tutoring program. I have tutored students since my freshman year. It is something I find great pleasure in. I enjoy tutoring young children because it is an opportunity to encourage them to pursue bright futures. The motivation I hold for myself also serves to encourage others.

I am prepared to contribute to Pepperdine through my knowledge from experience and from my desire to live a happy life helping the community.

Undergraduate / (learning about science / engineering / city, campus / bands) - COLUMBIA [2]

There are 4 different essays here corrections and suggestions greatly appreciated

Please tell us what academic class has been your favorite and why?

I enjoy learning about science. It has become my favorite subject in high school. I wanted to take as many possible science classes to be better prepared for those subjects in a college setting. I decided to take AP Chemistry and AP Biology during my junior year to have the possibility of taking AP Physics during my senior year. It was interesting taking Biology and Chemistry concurrently because even though at times the subject matter would be the same, at other times it would involve looking at the topics through different perspectives. Looking at the topic through both perspectives provided for a better overall understanding of the entirety of the subject. The two topics were different in that biology consisted solely of memorization, as opposed to chemistry which relied not only theoretical proof but also on mathematical evidence to support claims.

Having the ability to connect the subject matter learned in biology and chemistry with an understanding of physics provided an even better understanding of the topic. It was enjoyable starting off a new topic in physics and already knowing the majority of the lesson because it was taught in chemistry. Physics for me is the most challenging class I have taken; despite that it is my favorite science course. For me it requires approaching the subject in a different way than that of biology or chemistry. I enjoy the challenge of understanding the topic and being able to apply it to a more common real life setting.

For applicants to the FU Foundation of Engineering and Applied Science, please tell us what attracts you specially to the study of engineering
I became interested in the field of engineering after reading a college brochure titled "Why engineering", after reading the description of each of the majors provided, it became clear to me that the field of engineering was right for me. I planned my junior year in hopes of one day majoring in biomedical engineering at Columbia University. I searched collegeboard to learn more about the major and recommended courses. I took AP biology, AP chemistry, and AP calculus AB to increase my chances at accomplishing my dream. This year I am taking AP physics and AP calculus BC, the knowledge gained from these courses will help me later on to better understand the material need to be a successful biomedical engineer.

With the intent of pursuing an engineering degree I joined M.E.S.A (Math, Engineering, Science, and Achievement) a class focused on connecting academic to the principals of engineering. As the program continued I became more engaged with the field of engineering. The program stepped away from book work and allowed for more hands on projects.

Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why

I have dreamt of walking the Columbia campus since my sophomore year of high school. It's a school filled with endless possibilities (∞P). From all the pictures I have seen of the school, they all show the beautiful city and campus that for me symbolize a world of opportunities- a world I want to explore.

I like the wide array of activities provided through the school. It allows a large group of people to come together for a common cause. I want to find the place I belong; I think that place is Columbia. It's an opportunity to explore the world and grow into the person I want to be. It's an opportunity to gain knowledge from an array of new experiences. Being in one of the greatest cities of the world as a curious student it is easy to find inspiration from the world around.

HoP is appealing to me to learn through more hands on projects. It keeps the curriculum interesting and engaging, and provides a better understanding into an actual engineering career. C2C allows students to be more involved in the community through their studies, is enjoy be an involved member of the community and coming up with ways to help others.

Columbia Engineering= R2 + C2C + HoP + LAB + NYC + ∞P = the place I want to be.

Please tell us what you found meaningful about one of the above mentioned

Bright stage lights, loud music, and multitudes of people who share a common interest coming together. I am standing on the second level from the stage watching my favorite bands as they take the stage. I enjoy going to concerts, I feel connected with everyone around me; we share a bond with a common interests in music. It's a sold out show there are hundreds of young people in one venue. I find it amazing watching so many people come out for a common cause and fills my head with possibilities for the future.

I love watching the bands play as the take control of the stage. I stand in awe at the stage presence of these performers for having the ability to share their voice and connect with a multitude of people. I hope to strengthen my voice to get my ideas out to the world for a better cause. I want to be able to reach out to others as the performer on the stage does.

No worries come across my mind for thing the time being. This moment is filled solely with music, it's a time to relax and enjoy the atmosphere around me.

Undergraduate / 'Motivation + Learn By Doing' - essays what matters / intellectual vitality [9]

This is the one responding to what matters to you and why i need to cut some words

Motivation is what matters to me most. It is the personal quality I admire most in people and am most proud to have. I believe it is motivation that drives people to do great things. I want to be one of those people.

I consider myself a highly motivated individual; I strive for the best and have a positive outlook on life. I want to make something out of my life; going to college from a young age has been one of my dreams. It is a dream that is now in grasp. I keep college posters on my room walls to keep me motivated and remind me of what I'm working for. They all show beautiful cities and campuses that for me symbolize a world of possibilities and opportunities- a world I want to explore.

When I walked into the first class of my senior year the first thing I saw was a poster of a New York skyline above it was a lightning storm. Lightning is the symbol I associate to represent motivation. It is the symbol that I identify with myself. The word "ELECTRYING" bolded across the bottom, underneath that read "imagine having an enthusiasm that electrifies others". This poster describes a part of who I am. Helping others is an activity to which I have come to dedicate a large portion of my time.

Tutoring is the way I help others I have tutored elementary and high school students. I have learned to work with a variety of learning styles and gained a valuable quality when working with children- patience. Some of the kids appeared to have learning disabilities and would give up after not understanding the topic on hand. As a tutor that wants to ensure success into those I help I look for a different way to approach the subject. Once their face lights up is when I can see that they truly understand it- it is an outstanding feeling knowing I used my knowledge gained in school to someone else.

In connection with the poster, one experience I remember was coming across a child with a pessimistic attitude towards school. They believed their dream job was working an AMPM. Tutoring young children is an opportunity to encourage them to pursue bright futures through education

and this one is the one responding to reflect on an idea or experince that has helped your academic development

"Learn by doing" is an idea that has helped me grow as a student. What it means to me is to learn through experience; to learn from past mistakes. It is not just realizing that a mistake has been committed but actually understanding and analyzing it to learn how to correct it.

My intended field of study is engineering as an engineer their job is to design or improve an existing design to better improve its function. It was at a robotics submarine competition that I really embraced and understood the idea. From this experience I learned to work within a team for the success of our design. We came to the competition overly confident in our design. During the first test run our robot sank to the bottom with no anticipation of movement. Our spirits were crushed but we were able to take suggestions from other teams and watch their runs to improve our design and through those corrections were able tie for second place. I remember watching as one of the teams packed away and left even before the competition started. I pondered at the reasons they decided to leave; every design failed but we were ultimately able to correct those designs to ensure success.

This experience has taught me to continue one even when in a difficult situation. Science has become my best subject; chemistry and biology were not as difficult for me as physics has been. Physics for me involves a different way of thinking that is challenging. Despite its difficulty I want to succeed in the course. To do so I read the CP text to understand the basic aspects of the subject and then I read the AP text to understand the level at which the course is set. It is different experience for me but has taught me perc and has helped me succeed in the course.