Writing Feedback / 'he must not cheat..' -Write a paragraph about qualities you want from your ideal man [3]

I could come up with some qualities that I'd like my ideal man to possess. First of all, I'd like him to be a cheerful person. I don't want a man that bores me; he should be able to make me laugh all the time. A cheerful man will openly communicate his thoughts and share everything with a great sense of humor. Therefore, life is more enjoyable when I have a cheerful man. Next, it's important for him to be considerate. I'd want a man who can do anything to make me happy. He always treats me with affection and tenderness. Especially, he needs to share my household chores when I'm tired. In addition, he should be willing to share my difficulties as well as sympathetic with all of my negative habits; therefore, he could teach me to become a better person in his soft way. Most of all, I want a faithful man. He must not cheat or deceive me. On the contrary, he must stay true in his heart. Furthermore, he is a person who will stand by my side no matter what. If my ideal man is faithful, we will have such a strong bond that nothing will ever be able to tear us apart. In conclusion, I believe that I'll live a happy life with a man having such good characteristics like these.

Writing Feedback / Studying English with a private tutor is more helpful than studying in English class. [2]

Studying English with a private tutor is more helpful than studying in English class.The first is the attention of the teacher. When studying with a private tutor, a student is received much attention and care of a teacher; whereas, when studying in class, a student doesn't have a chance like that. Besides, courses and lessons which tutors make are various. Because of their much attention, they know the study level of students; therefore, courses and lessons are more likely to be various to adapt the students' needs. Unlike studying with a private tutor, courses and lessons in class are limited accoroding to framework of curriculum. The second is the chances of student. Studying with tutor, students have chances to raise voice and express ideas.They can ask problems which they they don't know thoroughly by their help of their teachers. Finally, the atmosphere between studying with tutor and in class is quite different. When a student studies with a tutor, the atmosphere is quiet; therefore, a student will concentrate on the lessons easily. Whereas, when studying in class, the atmosphere is noisy. In conclusion, studying with a private tutor are much more different from studying in class. With the differences above, studying with a private tutor is more helful than studying in class.

Note:
- my task is write a contrast paragraph about the topic given above.
- the sentence:'' The first is the attention of the teacher''. my teacher said that I need to correct the expression. and the sentence ''Whereas, when studying in class, the atmosphere is noisy''. my teacher said atmosphere in here is wrong word.I don't know how to change these. So I need help from all of you.

- I really need you to add into my paragraph more supporting ideas of each point to make it convicing:))

Writing Feedback / Write a process paragraph of the following topic: " How to study for an exam?" [NEW]

If you want to get good results in an exam, you should carry out three steps.Firstly, you should revise theories of all subjects. This step is very necessary because it helps us have an overall view and knowledge of subjects. You can revise theories by reading books, reviewing the material after each class and doing exercises regularly.One important thing you should remember is that you shouldn't learn new lessons but the basic ones.Secondly, sometimes revising lesson, you may not uderstand it thoroughly. Don't worry because this step will help you overcome it.You should discuss with your friends, your teachers and ask them for help about the matters that you don't know well.If possible, you can ask them to give you some exercises to make sure that you have a good understanding of them.Thirdly, don't forget to take care of yourself during the exam preparation. It is very important to be in good mental and physical condition for the exam. After you finish studying, take some time to relax. Don't stay up too late and try to get good night's sleep.You should avoid heavy foods that can make you drowsy.And the last thing is to keep a positive attitude about the exam as it is a way to demonstrate your knowledge but not as imposing challenge. If you follow three steps above, I believe that you will be sucessful in the exam.

Writing Feedback / 'studying abroad offers students many necessary skills' - paragraph pro/cons [5]

More and more people nowadays study abroad because of its great advantages bringing to them. From my point of view, the most important advantage of studying abroad is that it is a favourable environment for students to improve their necessary skills.Firstly, when students study abroad, that means in foreign countries, they will have chace to talk with native speakers regurlarly. THerefore, language skill will be improved dramaticcally. Secondly, at many universitiesi foreign countries, they provide students with advanced sudy facilities and standard teaching methods. I think this is very great benefit because from those things, students can understand the lecture thoroughly and above all, they can apply into reality what they have learned. Another important thing of studying abroad is to get experience.When people live far from home for studying abroad, they have to speak other language, especially, they have to familiarize themselves with new culture so they will have to deal wuith problems on their own. Moreover, they have to adapt many other things.It's very useful for them to be more confident and independent in their lives. In conclusion, studying abroad offers students many necessary skills. I consider this as the most important advantage of syudying abroad.