Undergraduate / Majoring in Math; Cornell Supplemen/ intellectual interests [3]

Hi I would be grateful if somebody would give me some feedback.
Does it sound personal or fake?
Does it show I have interest in the school?
Any other weaknesses

College of Arts and Sciences: (500 words)

Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

When I was in seventh grade, I constantly struggled with math until I met Mr. O who taught me that math was more than confusing numbers. I remember asking him, "what is the point of learning so many topics in math? Isn't learning how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide the only useful part of any job?" He laughed and said if everybody today believed what I said, everybody would have stopped learning math in fifth grade. He said math heavily influences the world today. Although many do not realize this, math can be considered the universal language.

"We use it everyday and not just for adding and subtracting. When you go to college, calculus is just the basics. There are many other different types of math that you will have to learn especially if you decide to major in engineering, mathematics, statistics, economics; many fields use math. Although engineers might not understand where the formulas they use come from, that is the mathematics' job." he said. I now see what he meant. My father used simple trigonometric functions to figure out how to build his windows. No matter what the shape was, triangular, square, or circular, he used trigonometry to figure out if the metal was strong enough to take that particular shape. Now he is in the real estate developer and needs to accurately estimate all costs and benefits. I now see that math is a concrete, practical, tool for us to see things realistically.

That day, I learned that math is a universal language and I did underestimate its miraculous achievements. Whether we use it to teach students, build a bridge, or design new inventions, math is always in the ether, totally surrounding us in many different hidden forms. When I began my study of math, I thought it was all about memorizing formulas and plugging numbers into solve for a definitive answer. But, Mr. O helped me understand where the formulas were derived from and taught me that if I kept a broad mind, I could have a better understanding and appreciation for this mysterious language.

Although I am uncertain of my major, Cornell's range of academics will allow me to explore different fields. I believe it is important to experience many fields as possible before deciding on which one I would chose for a career. I was also intrigued by Cornell Aboard because my traveling experiences made me realize that learning something in a book is nothing like the real experience. Seeing how experience in the outside is beneficial, I would like to travel to deepen my understanding of the world and apply what I have learned. Cornell's strong academics in math can develop my skills further and help me understand the influence I can have upon society. Each and every moment I spend developing my major in Cornell can help me have the ability to tackle the complex problems in our society today. Furthermore, I have taken many years to develop my skills in playing the flute and piano that they were curative friends that have helped shape who I am. I want to keep those joys with me even if I might not use them in my career. The numerous clubs can allow me to develop my hobbies further to enjoy the simplest times in life.

Undergraduate / What is my career? - Math - NYU App/ Academic plans/ Interests [2]

Any advice for this? I am grateful for any comments or criticisms.

Math is a universal language and is sometimes underestimated due to its simple looking characters. Whether we use it to teach students, build a bridge, or design new inventions, math is always in the ether, totally surrounding us in many different hidden forms. When I began my study of math, I thought it was all about memorizing formulas and plugging numbers into solve for a definitive answer. But, my teacher helped me understand that the formulas were derived from other formulas and if I kept a broad mind, I could have a better understanding and appreciation for this mysterious language. Although I am uncertain of my major, math has intrigued me due to its versatile nature. I am also interested in NYU's study aboard because I have traveled to many foreign places and realized that reading about them in a book is nothing like the real experience. Seeing how experience in the outside is beneficial, I would like to travel to deepen my understanding of the world. Learning is not enough but applying what I learn is what I want to build towards. I have also spoken to a former student of NYU who said the study aboard program helped her experience her major outside the US. She saw the methodological way Ford cars in Japan were built where each worker focused intently on his or her and reacted quickly to fix any problems whenever the music was turned off. Their meticulousness is different from America where we emphasize creativity and freedom. But, maybe we can integrate some of the techniques other countries use to enhance our productivity.

Undergraduate / What do I wish for!/ What's inside the package and how do you spend your day ? [3]

Would anybody take a look at this and see if it is good? Be as harsh as you like :)

A package arrives at your door. After seeing the contents you know it's going to be the best day of your life. What's inside and how do you spend your day?

I eagerly opened the box and extracted my tour guide cap, flag, and the plane ticket to the Qingjing farm in Taiwan. I looked at the velvet flag which had a picture of the foggy mountaintops that had once healed me and my family. Now I had the chance to show people this extraordinary place and teach them a life-changing lesson.

I quickly opened my laptop and meticulously read the travel diary my sister and I worked on during our last visit and extracted the most memorable attractions. The first thing listed was the Qingjing sheep farm. Although we wrote that it was "a bit filthy," the mountain climb's everlasting sunset that bonded me and my family together was worth the trouble. I remember the feeling of being a true family as we climbed the mountains and explored the shops. That day we were talking with each other and when we returned to the hotel, we enjoyed the gorgeous mountain top view from our balcony. After dinner, instead of turning on the television or playing with the laptop, we talked about our day late into the night and all of us stated that we would love to come back again.

The Qingjing farm made me realize that every day we are surrounded by the fast paced society and as we are absorbed by growing technology, we miss important things in our life. As parents work hard to make a living and as students diligently study to get into their dream college, they miss some important aspects such as teamwork and family. But I hope that with my guidance, people can slow down and examine the details in their life that they once missed. In the past I didn't have the power to teach but with this special box, I now had the chance to show people how to create bonds that can last them a lifetime.

Undergraduate / 'I couldn't read or speak' - My inspiration that helped me overcome obstacles [4]

This is my common app personal essay. Critique as harsh as you like :) I am grateful for all the help I can get

In seventh grade, I couldn't read or speak. Amiable students would chat with me but I couldn't say anything. My father's brothers criticized my diffidence and mockingly said I was socially inept. They called me a failure, a child incomparable to any of their sons. Although I used to believe their words were true, now I think I can carve my own path.

My family was disappointed in my academic grades, something that delighted my uncles.
"English is so hard!" I cried in Mandarin. "Always ask questions that's what a teacher is for," my father replied sternly. He showed me his hands and said "these hands, this roughness upon them, it is from hard work. I came to America, destroyed my hands in the process to give you a better life." I realized that he had always shunned me away from his hardship, wanting me to have little pressure of fulfilling his expectations.

I reminisced about the remember on the weekends, he would take the whole family out and worked continuously until lunch time and sometimes even past that. Meanwhile, I would sit on the large spin chairs inside the white office rooms playing with the cat and he would be in the factory experimenting on how to make metal studs and round windows. When I dared to sneak a peek at the loud bangs issuing from the machines as each metal stud was made, I didn't see him sitting back and letting the machine perform its duty but I saw him running around it working just as hard as it. Beads of sweat poured down his face as he lifted failed metal studs after another. Another pile for the trash bin. I resolved to work harder, to push my academic grades so that I would accomplish what I now wanted. Yet, my desired grades did not appear on the report cards. On the brink of giving up everything, I sat in my room watching the sunset and realized that just like the sun will never fade in many years, so will my courage. Even if the sun was now setting, it was taking a brief respite for a new day; the promising hope that each day offers is a new start. I adopted this philosophy that will always stay with me. Even in the darkest times, there is always "a last hope." The "last hope" isn't an auspicious occasion but rather what I do to actively shape my life just like my father.

My grades improved and every year, I would actively participate in class and seek my teachers if I had difficult questions. I was finally successful in my work. However this is not the apex. I have merely overcome obstacles and now must battle my way through the dense forest. My father's family was wrong for judging me and I will not carry out their mistake. It was their criticisms that made me strive to discover. But without the realization of my father's courage, my accomplishments would not have been possible. Through this struggling process, I made me.

Undergraduate / My family's conflict and how I was influenced (determination and fairness) [11]

Common App Prompt:
-A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you

-Topic of your choice
(I am not sure which topic this essay applies to)

The "other people" as my father calls them, no doubt his family's side, have always said that his children were failures. His mother hinted that I was useless because once I grow up and get married, the family last name will disappear. I am, as they call it, incomparable to the sons that my father's brothers have. I admit I have faults and what they say have, to some extent, truth. But, my life is shaped based on my parents' teachings and that is what shaped me yet did not create me. On a Sunday morning, my father asked "are we good parents? Have we done our job?" I smiled and said "you have given me beyond life." I gazed into the sky, closed my eyes, smiled, and said "gong ping."

My father's brother said that I was a misanthropic person and it was my mother's fault that I had no friends, no fashion sense, and bad grades. Every time they said this, my father will fight with my mother and arguments will ensue. I resolved to work harder to push my academic grades so that I will accomplish what my parents wanted. I admit striving for the grades was not as easy as I thought. I thought sticking my head in a book and locking up in my room would accomplish those grades yet, my desired grades did not appear on the report cards. I would sometimes cry and wonder if it was foolish to strive in my AP Language and Composition class which I found the hardest. Yet, I found comfort in the music I played on the piano and flute.

Whenever I felt life was impossible, I would find solace in my joy. For when I sat next to the piano or held up the flute, I could feel my emotions coursing through the instrument and reverberate around the room until, they will disappear. Sometimes the piano or flute will not completely absorb my sadness. I would sit in my room and watch the sunset, letting its light shine endlessly upon me. Watching it will force me to realize that just like the sun will never fade in a billion years, so will my heart. Even if the sun was setting, it was taking a brief respite for a new day. The promising hope that everyday offers is life, a new start. Only when I let go of the light will I ever stop to strive. Thus, I seek out my teachers to help me understand whether it is a simple math question that I had the answer but did not know how I got it or advice on writing. What I strive, is beyond the answer; I strive for the reason.

I have now conquered my academic grades but, I was missing something. I was missing contact with my peers and the world around me. I have always been timid and that was what prevented me from meeting new people. So I volunteered in the American Red Cross to help out people and collect food for shelters. There was a necessity to respect people who did not want to donate and how to work with the other volunteers. I also worked in the Manhasset Public Library in which I helped inspire young children to read and aid the librarians. I also opened up in my school every year. I would never volunteer to speak in class in 9th or 10th grade but in 11th, the challenging classes made me aware of the necessity to work together with other students. This made me aware of the peer pressure between cliques. Students would be pressured into smoking, drinking, or taking drugs. But, I resolved to make friends who will not judge me based on my actions, looks, or opinions. What I am is what people will have to see me. Nobody can force me to change for their own enjoyment. I don't want acceptance; I want what people see who I am and in respect, I will not judge anybody anyway differently. The respect in how people will see me is how I will respectfully see them.

I have proven to my family, dulled the chaos coming from my father's family. But is this the apex? No. I have merely overcame an obstacle and now must battle my way through the dense forest. But one thing I will never forget is "gong ping." My father's family was mistaken in judging me and I will not carry out his mistake. Just as the sun will never die, my courage will take me beyond.

Thank you for taking the time.