Undergraduate / Holistic care & Sincere compassion ; Nursing Statement of Purpose - UCLA [4]

Prompt: Please provide a written statement that includes your own assessment of your potential for undergraduate study and for a professional career in nursing, and your reason for selecting the UCLA School of Nursing. You may include information indicating any personal life challenges you have experienced. Multicultural experiences, bilingual abilities and economic, educational or social disadvantages should also be included here. Indicate how your volunteer, work, or other life experiences influenced your decision to pursue a nursing career.

My family is plagued with medical issues. My eldest sister lost her battle against ovarian cancer at the age of 10, my father was gravely ill for years with an unknown diagnosis, my sister was born with a cleft palate, and I was diagnosed with a mild case of scoliosis. When I was six, I despised the putrid smell of hospitals every time I visited the ward of my ailing father. I was appalled by the obligatory plastic surgery that my sister underwent during her adolescence. I hated the routine exercises I had to perform to straighten my spine. I simply detested the dismal atmosphere of a medical environment. Childhood aversions aside, however, I ultimately let go of these unpleasant recollections once I realized that the hospital saved my dad, allowed my sister to feel more confident, and helped me stand straight and tall. With a more mature frame of mind and a stronger penchant for knowledge, I progressively embraced the art of medicine.

The first time I grasped the excitement of scientific discovery was through handling a P-20 micropipette and observing bacteria colonies in the Amgen lab. The first time I truly understood complex human behavior was through Pavlov's phenomenon of classical conditioning, B.F. Skinner's findings regarding behavior control, and the controversy surrounding nature versus nurture. The first time I explored the mechanisms of the human mind was through the captivating text of my AP Psychology text book, and the first time I firmly believed in environmental betterment was through the persuasive tirades of Rachel Carson in Silent Spring. I learned a plethora of things during my adolescence, but these particular experiences encircled my mentality around the realm of science. As much as I value imagination, my newfound fascination for facts compelled me to begin a journey replete with exertion and fulfillment: a journey to nursing.

With notable research programs and a wide array of opportunities for clinical practice, the UCLA School of Nursing well exceeds my professional ambitions. The B.S. Prelicensure program sparks particular interest because it will prepare me for engaging with individuals and population-based cohorts in a medical setting. Upon obtaining a B.S. degree, I plan to enter the Masters Entry Clinical Nurse (MECN) program to obtain a Master of Science in Nursing degree and acquire a license as a registered nurse. Moreover, I aim to spend the following years in graduate study for advance practice in nursing, which UCLA fortunately provides, so I can ultimately reach my ambition of becoming a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner. With the university's many centers of excellence, the Center for Vulnerable Populations Research (CVPR) especially inspires me to be more involved in the community and contribute greatly to the needs of individuals facing greater health risks around the world.

I may not have acquired experience in the medical field yet, but volunteering at family-oriented organizations significantly ameliorated my communication capabilities and magnified my sense of altruism. Tutoring and supervising children further served as a stepping stone for my profound interest in the field of pediatrics.

From the countless texts that I perused in my edifying science books to my journey through a passion for altruism, I will strive to reach the day when I finally work in a medical environment, providing holistic care to patients and treating them with sincere compassion. University of California Los Angeles will direct me to this success.

---I wrote a whole new essay because the previous one wasn't going anywhere. However, my biggest concern for this one is that the first half of it sounds so much more like a personal statement rather than a statement of purpose, but I have to get it done by tomorrow, so unfortunately I'll have to stick with it. I just need some grammatical corrections/proofreading/comments about the content. Thanks very much!

Undergraduate / "I aspire to become a pediatric nurse"UCLA Nursing Statement of Purpose [3]

Prompt: Please provide a written statement that includes your own assessment of your potential for undergraduate study and for a professional career in nursing, and your

reason for selecting the UCLA School of Nursing. You may include information indicating any personal life challenges you have experienced. Multicultural experiences, bilingual abilities and economic, educational or social disadvantages should also be included here. Indicate how your volunteer, work, or other life experiences influenced your decision to pursue a nursing career.

It's nowhere close to being done, but I just wanted to know if I'm going in the right direction or if the whole idea of my essay is appropriate for the prompt. So far, I've only answered the "volunteer" portion, and I'm having a hard time transitioning to the other topics that they're asking for. I don't want it to be all over the place with too much going on, but then again, the prompt is very much like that. Anyway, please comment on anything and let me know if I probably should write a different essay.

Statement of Purpose

I was four when I discovered my penchant for art. I was twelve when I claimed the world of writing as my own. I was fourteen when I aspired to be an interior designer, a computer engineer, or a graphic artist. I longed to become anything but a nurse, the "traditional" career path of my Filipino relatives. My childhood was a pleasant phase of discovery; I was a lone dreamer who sought a unique future. Unwillingly following my family's footsteps was an appalling idea for my juvenile self.

The summer after sophomore year, I acknowledged my passion for lending a hand. I volunteered at Operation Gratitude, an organization that provides care packages for military troops and their families. It may have been a brief experience, but I learned of gratitude, altruism, and diligence simply through packing assorted goods, sending stuffed toys to children, and reading little five-year-olds' heartwarming letters to soldiers. I was sixteen when I put others' needs before mine.

Most recently, I discovered something rather unexpected: my fondness for people. In my junior year of high school, I began to volunteer at the Mid Valley YMCA where I supervise and tutor elementary and middle school kids. As an individualist, I was hardly the communicative kind; I often resorted to artistic means at times of distress, and I embraced isolation. Working at the Y, however, provided me a great sense of accomplishment by aiding children and bettering their learning. I was sixteen when I acquired a profound desire to help.

The last stage of my high school career came with the dreaded "college application season." Writing the UC personal statement was a nightmare, primarily because of my indecisiveness for my future. I began writing without knowing what major to choose or what direction to approach, but not long after reminiscing about my childhood and accomplishments as an adolescent, my future was set in a mere flash of insight. "I aspire to become a pediatric nurse," I instinctively inscribed. I was seventeen when I finally grasped what I want to be.

Undergraduate / Growth of Resilience - UC Personal Statement 2 [4]

So I decided to write a whole new essay because I realized that my previous one is just terrible and lacking a lot of character. I think this one is more expressive, or "personal," I should say, BUT this is incredibly last minute. It's my first draft and it didn't take me nearly as much time as I had with my other essays. Anyway, please be as critical as possible. After you read this essay, you'll know that I would love to hear all the constructive criticisms!

Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

As much as I loved my childhood, I cried nearly every week- not because of physical pain, bullying, or anything an average kid would reasonably cry about- but because of my Science teacher teasing me about a boy, my dad making fun of my high-pitched sneeze, or my relatives forcing me to sing karaoke in front of a crowd. Looking back on the dreadful fragment of my childhood, I was indeed pathetic and fragile. But as I was approaching adolescence, I had a sudden change of heart. I haven't cried in nearly six years.

When I came to America at eleven years old, I encountered the pressure of finding my place in a terribly unfamiliar crowd. In fifth grade, I was always lucky enough to go through daily discussions without uttering a word, but one day, my teacher called my name, asked me to provide a sentence pertaining to the lesson, and I instantly froze, with all of my classmates' eyes fixed on me in deafening silence. I felt a rush of heat run through my face, and I was certain that by the moment I articulate a word, my voice would quiver. I was on the verge of tears, but I held back and hesitantly answered.

In sixth grade, my Math class required a great deal of participation. I always received the best test scores, but never the best class grade because of my immense lack of social involvement. My teacher once confronted me and said, "You are the quietest person I have ever known." Because of my strong dread for confrontation, I was on the verge of tears, but I held back and hesitantly smiled. That was the last misty-eyed feeling that I remember.

I entered high school as a nobody, unfamiliar with every face, but it didn't matter. Teachers singled me out for answers, which often left me mortified but never tearful like before. I breezed through class presentations without sensing an impending nervous breakdown. I have even encountered the most judgmental individuals who were cruel enough to voice their spiteful minds, but their words did not affect me.

I despised the feeling of vulnerability. I wept over the most ridiculous things, and it made me feel defenseless; I was a child without a voice. Throughout the subsequent years, I faced cruel criticisms about my work, my writing, and even my countenance, but I dealt with every single judgment with a smile. I simply grew up.

---- I know it's lacking a lot of things, but I just want to know if I should work on this essay or stick with my old one.

Undergraduate / 'involvement with high school events' - Personal Statement #2 - Giving Back [NEW]

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

The only sleepovers I have ever had were with my little cousins. Throughout most of my life, I always seem to find myself surrounded by children. I spent my youthful days playing silly outdoor games with other kids and a great deal of my adolescence babysitting my younger relatives. Quite frankly, I enjoy all the moments I have had with these children more than with individuals my age. There is nothing more amusing than a child's liveliness, sanguine mentality, and sheer innocence.

In my adolescent years, I gravitated towards various youth-related organizations. Two summers ago, I volunteered at Operation Gratitude where I had the pleasure of helping other workers send care packages to military troops and their families. We carried out quite a few workloads, primarily parceling sanitary supplies for the troops, packing canned goods, and carrying hefty boxes back and forth, but my favorite everyday duty was reading the endearing letters that preschool kids had written for the soldiers. Reading a simple "thank you for your service" or even an "I love you" from these children never failed to make me smile; every aspect of their messages were simply genuine and selfless.

During the course of my high school career, I was determined to heighten my involvement with high school events. I joined an array of charity clubs such as A HOPE for Children, which fundraises for African children suffering with HIV, and the American Red Cross, which provides compassionate care to those in need. These school organizations allowed me to further contribute to the community and, at the same time, interact with fellow students.

However, I wanted to partake in community services beyond school grounds. So, I began volunteering at the Mid Valley YMCA, a non-profit organization committed to helping families live a balanced, healthy lifestyle. Personally, the most rewarding facet of this experience is being directly involved with the youth. As a tutor, I have been grateful to supervise elementary and middle school kids and provide them the educational assistance that they seek; not only is this task accommodating but also enjoyable. Being part of the YMCA family truly taught me the worth of responsibility, patience, and leadership.

From babysitting my little cousins to engaging in steady volunteer work, I have established a profound adoration for my younger peers. With these noteworthy experiences, I have acquired a sense of prudence, obligation, compassion and- above all- altruism, which gave my whole high school experience sincere meaning.

Undergraduate / UC Personal Statement - "Two Worlds Converged" [2]

Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

First Draft. I'm feeling iffy about shifting the verb tenses throughout the essay. Please feel free to tell me if they need to be fixed, along with other grammatical errors and changes about the content.

Occasionally, I linger upon childhood memories like rolling on the field of my old Catholic school, catching grasshoppers with other kids, pretending to be ghost hunters at night, or even getting bit by giant ants at the play ground. From trivial recollections of playing with beetles to little accomplishments like winning a spelling bee, these effervescent memories remind me of how I loved being so spontaneous and full of life; I loved being a kid.

Growing up at the rural side of the Philippines, I adopted a very collectivistic culture, whereupon we embrace family ties and develop strong work ethics built on interdependence. The small province in which I grew up is essentially where I shaped these values; my old school, or my second home, taught me about compassion, togetherness, and humility.

On another note, the urban town in which I spent my adolescence is where I sought novel experiences, a different outlook, and a new self. In high school, I learned to embrace the beauty of individualism and the substance of knowledge, namely after reading the novel Anthem by Ayn Rand. Like Equality 7-2521 in a much lesser extent, I grew up in a collectivistic world, I write about episodes from my childhood, and I have acquired a profound penchant for learning. I find myself suddenly craving more and more independence after being encircled by the idea of togetherness as a child. However, unlike Equality, I am not conflicted between the collective world from which I came and this freethinking country I now inhabit. In these different realms, I was able to find a sense of balance. Although I have become almost entirely Americanized, I incessantly remind myself that my childhood shaped half of who I am.

[I know this whole paragraph is a little off-topic, but i'll find a way to somehow incorporate this idea later, since I need to talk about the career path I'm leaning towards..but suggestions regarding this are very much appreciated] With the values that my loving community taught me as a child and the independence and dedication to learning I acquired as an adolescent, I am determined to enter the medical field; namely, with my fondness for the youth, I aspire to become a pediatric nurse and provide full commitment to the well-being of infants, children, and adolescents. My childhood experiences are some of my most treasured memories, and I know that working with young individuals in the future will be just as rewarding.

Having lived in two different worlds was indeed a bittersweet experience. As an adolescent, I may have acquired a whole new frame of mind, but the set of values I grasped as a child is what truly keeps me grounded, and I will certainly carry it with me through my path to adulthood.