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Posts by yuzec95
Joined: Dec 15, 2012
Last Post: Dec 31, 2012
Threads: 3
Posts: 25  
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From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 28
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yuzec95   
Dec 31, 2012
Undergraduate / Versatility in the field of communications; Engaging academically at UPenn [3]

What initially attracted me to Penn was its tradition of food vending. Growing up, I often traveled with my family to regions in America and China where I would taste exotic foods from various cultures that were from street vendors. I developed a liking for the piquant flavors that challenged my taste buds. To me, it was as like taking a risk, gaining an experience, stepping outside of my comfort zone in hopes of discovering something new and broadening my perspectives. I'm excited to see that at Penn not only can I continue my practice of "risky eating," but I can also apply the mentality to my academic career.

As a Communications major, Penn's undergraduate program gives me the opportunity to explore the field from social, cultural, political and economic standpoints which will give me a comprehensive outlook. Courses such as Communication and Persuasion will teach me the fundamental analytical and rhetorical techniques I need for my future endeavors. To gain first-hand experience in the field, I plan to intern for various communication-related organizations. Through Penn's Internships Seminar, I will be able to reflect on my work by analyzing the communication processes that take place.

Because Penn distinguishes versatility in the field of communications, I've found encouragement to expand my horizons even further. I intend to minor in Sociology with a focus on Structures of Opportunity and Inequality. I am particularly interested in the course Perspectives on Urban Poverty to learn about the domestic and international challenges we face in this new millennium and how they relate to each other.

My ultimate goal is to find a solution to maximize the potential of each person which will strengthen society as a whole. I know that at Penn, the walls of a classroom will never define the limits of my education. Instead, I will be encouraged to think outside the box as I pursue my dreams.

Prompt: A Penn education provides a liberal arts and sciences foundation across multiple disciplines with a practical emphasis in one of four undergraduate schools: the College of Arts and Sciences, the School of Engineering and Applied Science, the School of Nursing, or the Wharton School. Given the undergraduate school to which you are applying, please discuss how you will engage academically at Penn. (Please answer in 300 words or less.)

Any help is great! Thank you.
yuzec95   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / New sense of bipartisanship/Ten things ; Stanford; Intellectual Vitality/Roommate [4]

Oh, and good luck with the millions of bobby pins that will one day be living on the floor of our dorm).

Try not to give off a negative connotation. Saying "good luck with ..." isn't very friendly. I know you're trying to be sarcastic, but it might come off the wrong way.

P.S. Sorry in advance for the messy room!

The same with this.
yuzec95   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / "Happiness is a choice"; Stanford Supp - Letter to Roommate [9]

I reaally love your essay. You would be the perfect roommate for me.
But also try and include the fact that you're okay with whoever your roommate is.
What if she's the opposite of bubbly and cheerful?
yuzec95   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / THEATER/ MOVIES; NYU /ACADEMIC INTEREST [4]

As a child, when most of my friends were off at summer camp, I would be relaxing at the movie theater. When my friends wanted to play video games, I wanted to watch movies. When my friends or family wanted to watch movies, I was in heaven.

I feel as if these three sentences are somewhat awkward when read aloud. Maybe try and adjust the wording to make it flow better.
yuzec95   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / Psychoanalysis/Pencil & Paper; NYU/ Academic interest?/ What intrigues you? [2]

time went on

As time went on..

Majoring in Media, Culture and Communications would equip me with the resources and knowledge required to work in environments and fulfill tasks dealing with society and public relations.

This is a VERY general statement. What is it exactly that you want to accomplish in your future?

Such courses like this one drive me to pursue a true interest of mine and put my knowledge to good use.

Try and think of a stronger ending!
Leave them with an impact.
yuzec95   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / Herd Mentality; UT Austin(Part 2) / Issue of Importance [6]

Many of us preach about what we believe in, we believe that this is no longer a conservative society.

This is a run on sentence.

Rulers, and fighters were made out of woman. They served themselves in war. This was where the concept of Amazonian woman was delievered whereas men used to sit at home to look after the children.

Try and make these sentences more concise. Try and forming into one or two sentences without changing the meaning.
yuzec95   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / The perfect balance of everything; U Chicago/ Why? [11]

Applying for College For the Best Education



Currently, one of the main worries that students face while applying to college is whether or not they will be receiving a quality education. As rumors have it, many undergraduate classes at large universities are taught by student aids while professors are busy doing research to boost their personal reputation. Students crowd into lecture halls by the hundreds to take notes off PowerPoint slides; some only see their professor on the first and last day of the semester. Like others, this was also my primary worry when I first began applying to colleges. But then I discovered the University of Chicago.

The University of Chicago is the perfect balance of everything I want in my next four years. With approximately 5,500 students enrolled each year, the University still maintains a student-faculty ratio of 6 to 1 guaranteeing me an exceptional education. As someone who wishes to seek success beyond my personal world, I intend to major in International Studies at Chicago, with a minor in Sociology.

The University's International Studies program gives me the opportunity to explore the field from social, cultural, political, and economic standpoints which will give me a deeper comprehension of the world. Chicago's Sociology program provides an original method to the examination of interactions between groups or individuals by emphasizing inquiry and intellectual respect. I plan to take classes such as Contemporary Global Issues and Local Bodies, Global Capital to learn more about the new domestic and international challenges we face in this new millennium and how they relate to each other. I aspire to find a solution to maximize the potential of each person which will strengthen society as a whole. My ultimate goal is to become a global humanitarianism with a focus on human relations.

As someone who firmly believes that schooling should not get in the way of my education, I'm excited to see that the University of Chicago encourages its students to take risks and gain first-hand experience of the world around them. As an International Studies major, I hope to study abroad in Latin America or Africa to fully understand the challenges that exists in these countries. Upon researching the University's study abroad programs, I plan to expand my knowledge on society and culture in Botswana and the Dominican Republic.

Meanwhile, at home, I look forward to becoming part of the Chicago Weekly or Sliced Bread, both of which are student publications. Throughout high school, my involvement in newspaper and literary magazines gave me a multitude of opportunities to explore and cultivate my interests and I hope to do the same at Chicago.

More than anything, I believe in the type of culture and community Chicago nurtures in allowing its students to develop the discerning audacity to approach problems in innovative ways while keeping an open mind. My childhood from Riverside has refined my definition of variety; I've realized the importance of diversity while attending one of California's most culturally diverse high schools. At Chicago, I want to appreciate and understand the different walks of life through acknowledgement of each individual's motives, beliefs and values. The perspectives I obtain from this experience will facilitate my efforts in improving society.

The University of Chicago not only emphasizes ethnic diversity, but also diversity of thought and opportunity. As a Chicago student, I will have the freedom to form new ideas and solve problems as I set forth on my path towards success. This University encourages me to take risks and think outside the box while I find my place in society. Upon graduation, I want to join the other Chicago alumni who are making a difference in more than 100 countries around the world.

*Prompt Question: How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago.

PLEASE criticize/edit as much as possible! Thank you.
yuzec95   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / The Haegeum/ Common App Essay prompt #1 [4]

As I become college student and broaden perspective, I hope the boundary of performance to be widened.

I think you should elaborate more on this. I understand what you're trying to convey, but not so much as to how much it changed who you are, or how it influenced your perspective on life.
yuzec95   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / I find myself surrounded by "model students"; Common App [12]

From what I know, admissions generally do not like essays like this because it sounds too much as if you're trying to make yourself look good, rather than genuine. I personally loved it though!
yuzec95   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / Nature of Northwestern's Communications Studies program; NORTHWESTERN Supp [6]

I indicated:

Ultimately, I aspire to use communications to find a solution to maximize the potential of each individual which ultimately will benefit and strengthen society as a whole.

I'm using that sentence to describe how I want to take advantage of what I learn in further detail. Does it make sense?
yuzec95   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / Nature of Northwestern's Communications Studies program; NORTHWESTERN Supp [6]

Be less generic.

I can definitely see how I can be more specific in my essay. Thanks.

This is extremely awkward - I know what you mean but you could do a lot better with this sentence.

I'm having a lot of trouble trying to explain that I was involved in a lot of school activities during high school, Do you have any suggestions on what's a better way to say this?

Thank you so much!
yuzec95   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / My brother hated school; Boston College ; Experience affecting perception [3]

I think your essay should focus more on you than your brother. If you're trying to use your brother's experience to describe how it influenced you, then maybe include more about your feelings and changes. BC wants to know who you are, not who your brother is.

I recently got accepted to BC, and I think my supplement is what helped me out a lot.

Good luck!
yuzec95   
Dec 27, 2012
Undergraduate / Nature of Northwestern's Communications Studies program; NORTHWESTERN Supp [6]

Prompt: What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

Northwestern University has everything an aspiring communications major can ask for. While many universities have communications programs, Northwestern's stood out among the bunch. What initially attracted me was the nature of Northwestern's Communications Studies program.

Communications is a very versatile. It can offer new paths and lead to many open doors. As someone who is interested in a variety of topics and is eager to explore a multitude of fields using communications, it is important for me to find a university that will provide me with the opportunity to do so. Northwestern's Communications Studies program does not inhibit me from expanding my horizons; it encourages this. This program will give me the chance to learn all the tools and techniques of communications for any personal and professional endeavors I face in the future. With an education from Northwestern, I know that regardless of what profession I choose to specialize in, I will be equipped with the skills I need to succeed.

Northwestern also has what I am seeking in my personal college experience. Growing up in Southern California and attending one of the top ten most diverse high schools in the region has allowed me to realize the importance of knowing people from various cultures and backgrounds. Northwestern not only emphasizes the importance of diversity, but also recognizes the benefits that it brings to students.

I want to be a part of this university's diverse community to learn from the experiences of those who are different from me and to tell my story for others to hear. Through this, I can broaden my views on society and increase my understanding of the different people in the world. I hope to use the knowledge that I learn from the people at Northwestern to enhance my education in communications.

A university with challenging classes is necessary, but lessons that can be learned from the people there are vital. At Northwestern, my education will not be defined by the walls of a classroom.
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