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Posts by unigirl
Joined: Apr 2, 2013
Last Post: Apr 10, 2013
Threads: 3
Posts: 11  
From: United Kingdom (Great Britain)

Displayed posts: 14
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unigirl   
Apr 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / FACE TO FACE COMMUNICATION is a better way to communicate [4]

It is agreed that there are several kinds of communication helping people communicate without contacting directly, such as letters, e-mail, or telephone calls.
There are several kinds of communication, both verbal and written which means people do not need to contact each other directly.
using the words communication and communicate a little too much.
unigirl   
Apr 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / Single world culture; TOEFL; the same internet, television programs and language [5]

Admittedly, technology is growing faster and faster in this century.
Admittedly, there have been huge technological advances throughout the 21st Century.

Technology has created a lot of differences in our society.
Not entirely clear what point you are making, explain what changes. is it between social groups, age groups etc
unigirl   
Apr 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL; Different cloths get people to behave differently. Agree or Disagree? [4]

Some Clothes can show where we are from and what is our culture, we are poor or rich. In other hand, there are some people that we can never change them with wearing different clothes.doesn't make sense In my point of view, clothes have a lot influence on personality of a person and mostly we act in different way if we wear another thing.

Clothes can represent who we are and our background may we be poor or rich.In my view, clothes can be used as a way of showing our personality and may cause a person to act in a different way when wearing different clothesshow examples of this, very formal clothes can make you feel and act more professional, tracksuits can make us feel a bit slobbish etc
unigirl   
Apr 7, 2013
Writing Feedback / Skills from work placement essay; Section of a logbook [3]

can someone help me write these sentences more fluently

When I first started placement last month, I feel I was just getting to grips with what was expected of me, I believe I have progressed this month into being comfortable working within my role as Events Assistant.

My communication skills have improved greatly as I am now speaking confidently on the phone and in person and am able to handle enquiries from the public and organisations with ease.

Within this task I also had to email the different businesses so I feel I developed my written communication skills as I had to email in a professional manner also and ensure that I wrote in a way that was negotiable and articulately.

I learnt that the a job in the events industry truly isn't just in the workplace, as I was often receiving replies from businesses at different times of the day (sometimes at nightime) and was accessing my emails in the house and replying to my work peers through email after hours. i feel this task gave me confidence in my own ability as I was being depended apon for an important task and I carried it out efficiently and effectively.

I was given the task of researching some arts type companies/businesses/organisations to contact about becoming involved with the August FĂ©ile. This task improved apon my research and written communication skills and also on how to take initiative.

thanks!
unigirl   
Apr 7, 2013
Writing Feedback / Young adults should learn to become financially responsibleSECU [4]

High speed transactions and extremely easy/efficient mediums of transaction are acceptable and available everywhere nowadays

high speed transactions through a variety of different mediums are available to the public
unigirl   
Apr 7, 2013
Undergraduate / Cancers and Alzheimers have affected my education; special circumstances [6]

My freshmen year it started with being a primary care giver for my grandmother who was diagnosed with third stage ovarian cancer.

I started my freshman year as being my grandmother's primary care giver after she was diagnosed with having third stage ovarian cancer
unigirl   
Apr 7, 2013
Writing Feedback / EVENT MANAGEMENT SKILLS ; LOGBOOK Entries from work placement [5]

thats brilliant thanks :) I have to write about what skills I gained from the actual event that was put on, I just don't know how to start that bit,

the event was a irish music festival put on in a marquee and I was stage manager and on the door
Could you help me with it please
unigirl   
Apr 7, 2013
Writing Feedback / Skills from work placement essay; Section of a logbook [3]

this is a small section out of a logbook i have to keep while on work placement from college. i need to keep a log of the tasks i carried out and the skills i got from it. i dont think the quality of my writing is good so far and was wondering if anyone could help me with it. i also need to more thoroughly address the skills i have developed. if anyone can help me i would so greatly appreciate it! thanks very muuch in advance

Within the task of contacting businesses to take out an advert in the program for the upcoming event i had to keep to a deadline which developed my time management skills. I was also tasked with creating passes for all members of staff for the upcoming feile an earraigh event. I had to firstly design the passes which i found quite challenging as graphic design was always an area i was weak at and instead of employing the use of a professional graphic designer which i would usually do in previous events i was involved with through college, i made a go of it and created a number of different designs (see appendix) i feel i have truely developed a new skill and Something i actually enjoy. Completing this task has given me the confidence to attempt the basics of graphic design in the future for events for things like tickets and leaflets and i would like to enroll in a photoshop course to develop this new skill furthur so i can produce higher quality work in the future
unigirl   
Apr 7, 2013
Essays / essay on water; (emotional paragraph) [3]

write something about why water relates to you emotionally. say something about maybe loving to swim or if you have any childhood stories of why it connects to you

hope this helps :)
unigirl   
Apr 7, 2013
Essays / Global Warming research paper- what kind disasters do global warning cause? [11]

i would start the introduction with a quote on what global warming is from an expert, if you google global warming there should be loads that come up.

Then i would address it and give a brief statement on whether global warming is indeed a crisis or conspiracy. so for example, "over the last (so many years) global warming has became a worldwide issue but is this indeed a crisis that must be addressed or something to be added to the evergrowing list of conspiracies"

hope this helps :)
unigirl   
Apr 7, 2013
Writing Feedback / EVENT MANAGEMENT SKILLS ; LOGBOOK Entries from work placement [5]

I need a bit of help writing more fluently and with better words, this is basically the start of a logbook i have to keep while on placement to say which skills i have developed over the period of time. any help would be great! thanks in advance :)

While last month I was just getting to grips with what was expected of me, I believe I have progressed this month into being confident in a professional environment. My communication skills have improved greatly with me now speaking confidently on the phone and in person and being able to handle enquiries from the public and organisations with ease. I had to complete the task of contacting businesses about taking out an ad in the feile an earraigh programme. Although last month i was progressing to having a more confident tone and ease on the telephone, i believe this month i have developed a negotiable and persuasive skill on the phones vital for a role like this and have benefited greatly from it in this task as you can see from my progress in month 1 to the final ads in february (see appendix).
unigirl   
Apr 7, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Why people go to college? Reasons and examples [13]

could give the conflicting view of why people go to college. just a few negative examples and then give your opinion and the end to round it off such as, "it is however the view of some that college has became a party scene for those who do not wish to enter the world of work" and a quote to back it up

hope this helps :)
unigirl   
Apr 6, 2013
Writing Feedback / Persuasive Essay; Aboriginal children adopted into non-Aboriginal home [3]

My introduction: During the 60's there were ana number of Aboriginal children adopted into non-Aboriginal homes and other countries. BecauseAs this is the 60's the children were scoopedabducted from their homes and communities without consent or knowledge of the familiestheir family's consent or knowledge . A part of these It has been suggested by some (FIND A QUOTE FROM SOMEONE WHO THINKS THIS AND PUT IT IN AS A REFERENCE)that Aboriginal children who have been adopted may face cultural and Identity confusion issues as the result of having been socialized and to change into athe lifestyle change into a middle-class society.

My first question is did I give enough background information to introduce subject? My topic sentence: to discuss how the scoop-up affects characters within this story? Of the book of "only drunks and children tell the truth" could refer to the book in your introduction, with something such as "Only Drunks and Children tell the Truth" addresses the abduction of aboriginal children in the 1960s I have a first paragraph but not sure if this right? Example: (on page 12) Barb reveal about Janice/Grace identity when she say "The Children Aids Society" took her a couple moths later. Grace was taken by Canadian Aids Soociety from her parents and adopted out of the federal government when she was a baby. Her mother was acused of being unable to care for her child, and the government believed that her father had abandoned the family. In reality, her father. Had joined the military in order to support his family. Despite her mother's efforts she was never able to connect with her daughter Grace. As an adult, Grace goes to seek for her birth family. Do I have the point/proof and analysis that support the thesis for my support paragraph? For my second paragraph:another key component is the recognition that mistakes were made by governments in the past in regards to the residential school experiments and the 60's scoop to simulate was seen as a way for Canada to make some of the problem with fisrt nations.Children were taken from their home and put-up for adoption with non-Aboriginal families. In some cases, the children were placed in foster care until the reached adulthood, and were released into society effects without family/community or support. Example: (when Tonto say on the page 49), I was placed with Stones at age of five and bang, here I am twenty-seven years later, a fine human being. In the community there are a large number of native children living off reserve and in urban areas, a like number of Aboriginal children who are in care and in foster care do not have aboriginal-run organization. Aboriginal leaders who believe these children are losing touch with their cultural roots. The main ideas that I learned culture is the foundation to a strong community and consequently leads to strong families and individuals. We must be proactive in our to protect our children as the families that are becoming healthy, and children going to school learning to become strong productive adults. All of which indicate that this is not a productive system that's fits within our model as Aboriginal people. My last question is do u think I have my 3 paragph? And a conclusion? Please help me my assignment it's almost due and also my essay should be 1000 words. Thank you and I really apreciate for your help sounds good, bit more referencing of literature and i think your set :)]
unigirl   
Apr 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / Event Management work experience essay/ Skills I have developed and learned [2]

I am finding it really difficult to write this and I don't know why :(
It is a general essay on which skills I have developed and learned through a work placement at an events company and how they will benefit me in working life

See below:

January
On my first day in work placement, I attended a meeting about the upcoming event which I will becoming involved with. During the meeting I was also introduced to the members of staff based in the office and given information about my role within the organisation and the general tasks I would be carrying out. I took down information at the meeting for minutes, See Appendix for minutes of the meeting held. The meeting went over all that had been done for the festival so far and was the last formal meeting to be conducted before the event. I then got a tour of the workplace by the event manager and was given an induction involving work protocols and the general tasks I would be undertaking. I then familiarised myself with the computer programs and email systems. I learnt about the phones and how to make internal and external calls and practiced with this

During my first month at placement I also developed professional relationships with the staff and developed my communication skills with staff internally over the phones

Almost immediately I had to become proficient in my use of the phones as communication is key in this organisation with much of the information being transferred through the use of phone calls. I have to answer telephone calls internally from staff and also take incoming calls from various businesses, sponsors, the public etc.

I had to familiarise myself with the basic information of the company as many people were phoning up asking if they could speak to certain people with roles such as the Youth Co-ordinator so I had to learn quickly who everybody was and how to transfer calls and place the caller on hold etc

I had to also learn basic information on FĂŠile such as the opening hours, when the festival would be taking place, where the venue was, how much tickets were, were there any tickets left etc. I feel this will be a learning process and will only come from experience, but I am more confident now in taking the initiative to find out the information myself from the computer system rather than asking co-workers. I feel my main problem in answering the phones was not taking down the correct information, I didn't ask people to spell their name or email address out to me and just wrote down what I had initially thought it was and was taking their contact information down wrong and not getting the right information for members of staff but I have ensured now that I make people spell out everything if I am unsure.

I was tasked with contacting businesses regarding taking out an advert in the program for the upcoming event. I was given an ad specification (See Appendix) and had to contact businesses from there. I developed my skills of taking instruction and then working on my own initiative from that as I had to come up with an action plan as to what I was to do. As a starting point, I looked through the program from the previous year and contacted any businesses who had taken out an ad before. After that I searched the local newspaper and online for any businesses in West Belfast or the City Centre which I thought would be likely to take an ad out.

I found it rather challenging to begin with as I was a little under confident and nervous but I improved on my communication skills over the course of the phonecalls and now I carry a professional and articulate manner on the telephone which I find to be very beneficial in the workplace. I found this task also greatly improved apon my selling and persuasion skills. I had to ensure that I followed up with any phone calls made and was persistent with people as they would often not phone back or respond. Within the phonecalls, I also had to bargain and negotiate a price with people. What I learnt most from this task was that communication is key, and a friendly persuasive manner is the best selling technique.

There is a deadline to stick to in regards to the programme production and printing date so I have to ensure that I kept to the deadline and had everything done for an appropriate time. I had to communicate the progress of this task with members of staff throughout so I kept a database of replys from businesses and gave a daily update to the event manager and marketing officer so they were kept in the loop and knew what was happening. I found this was highly beneficial as it kept everybody informed and ensured I knew exactly who I had contacted, what I had offered, what they had offered, what their response was and what action I had to conduct after this. See appendix for database of businesses contacted about an ad

February
While last month I was just getting to grips with what was expected of me, I believe I have progressed this month into being confident in a professional environment. My communication skills have improved greatly with me now speaking confidently on the phone and in person and being able to handle inquiries from the public and organizations with ease. I had to complete the task of contacting businesses about taking out an ad in the programme. Although last month i was progressing to having a more confident tone and ease on the telephone, i believe this month i have developed a negotiable and persuasive skill on the phones vital for a role like this and have benefited greatly from it in this task as you can see from my progress in month one to the final ads in February (see appendix).

I was also tasked with the task of creating passes for all members of staff for the upcoming event. I had to firstly design the passes which i found quite challenging as graphic design was always an area i was weak at and instead of employing the use of a professional graphic designer which i would usually do in previous events i was involved with through college, i made a go of it and created a number of different designs (see appendix) i feel i have truly developed a new skill and something i actually enjoy. Completing this task has given me the confidence to attempt the basics of graphic design in the future for events for things like tickets and leaflets and i would like to enroll in a Photoshop course to develop this new skill further so i can produce higher quality work in the future
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