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Posts by lilythuy2289
Joined: May 27, 2013
Last Post: Jul 16, 2013
Threads: 3
Posts: 13  
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From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 16
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Jul 16, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS:All teenagers should engage in voluntary community service; Agree or Not? [4]

Well, at the first place of giving u some comments. I would suggest that you should not put down the all same words or a total sentence used in the given topic if u want to achieve higher score.

Here below is my introduction:
The phenomenon of teenagers participating in social jobs has seen an drastic increase these days. In the belief of its benefits for both individuals and community, many people contend that government or particular parties should provide them more unpaid jobs in their leisure time. In this essay, I strongly agree with that assumption as following reasons.
Jun 17, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Teachers would not be need anymore in the classroom as a result of computers [4]

but with the community demand >>>>> with the soaring demand of the community
To study at school wasis the only way to acquire knowledge but...

For example modern student have heavy learning pressure, they cost hours to travel to and back from school that was waste time and energy, some student even scarify their sleeping time to finish their homework: For example, students ..

you should review ur grammar cause I saw alot of grammar errors in your essay!
Jun 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / Formal exams and Course Assignments; Which is better to assess students? [6]

Formal examinations has been considered as a best testing method ever to identify students levels at school for decades in developed countries. However, course work and dissertations which are much more applied in university dynamics in Western countries are demeaned worse in some old point of views. This essay will examine argument for and against both of sides for each kind of measurement.

In the first place, it is often argued that conventional tests conducting at each semester at school are very clear and require student's well-preparation, which exactly assess the student's ability. However, it might be not totally true in this contemporary time. Indeed, with the today's technological advancement, obviously, the wrong-doings happening in exams are inevitable. For instance, many students use phones and super small sophisticated machines to know answers already though stern-discipline investigations of observers in many developing nations in Asian area. In doing so, they always get high scores and be evaluated at top-qualified students at school.

Furthermore, many people believe that formal exams are seen to be transparent. Obviously, hardly can educational systems act like that. Bribery phenomenon has been a widespread issue in many nations especially in developing countries. In Viet Nam, it is not difficult for an individual at school to get an excellent result provided that money given to teachers or examiners.

In the other hand, course works has been applied recently in western nations like Australia, New Zealand and Singapore. In that kind of wide-scaled homework, students have a privilege to reference any open-documents as to creatively brainstorm towards their objects. The most benefit here is that no limitations, pressure on their mind, which constrains their thinking. In addition, the regulations in most school apply course works are strict enough to stay students far away from bribery

Overall, I am convinced that course works are much better adopted at academic educational systems for students. Principles at school need to change their mindset to up-to-date adequate measurements to assess student's ability in any levels.
Jun 6, 2013
Writing Feedback / Fast-pace lifestyle makes people pay more attention on making money than maintaining a healthy body [3]

Nowadays, an increasing number of people concerned about whether government can play a vital role to improve public health by building more sports facilities.
Nowadays , an increasing number of people , many people concern about whether government can play a vital role : the meaning of this whole sentence is pretty ambiguos

*fast-pace lifestyle
>>the today's fast-paced lifestyle
May 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: (Dis/Agree) Establish a large shopping center in our community or not? [3]

Recently, there is an argument that, a large shopping center will be established in our neighborhood. Some people advocate that there are a lot of benefits of building up a large shopping center in our neighborhood, while others don'tit is not clear From my point of view, however, I am convinced that the advantages of having a big shopping center in our neighborhood outweigh its disadvantages of that.as following reasons.
May 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / Governments money for artsists; 'Artists have been seen as talented people' [7]

Some people think that the governments spent money on artists would be better than more important things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Artists have been seen as talented people. So, with aiming to increase the number of artists, many people believe that government should have incentive to them while others, including me, argue that this policy is not fair at all for other occupations. As shall I debate, this essay is a whole picture depicting why government should not spend more money on artist is better.

To begin with, it is deniable that the number of artist people is a minority in our society, which does not cost much government's fee to prompt their career development. However, in fact, if this policy works, generally, it violates the fairness of human -being. People, they were born under the same world and impartial society, thus, by no means do governments carry out some initial things in favor of artiest people. It is the cognition which demeans any communities under its resident's eyes. Accordingly, many conflicts or protests related to this policy, absolutely, sooner or later will happen.

Further and even more important, the approval of this policy in any nations may harm artist's career. If thinking out of the box of its further consequence, spending more money on artist will devastate economy development gradually. Though, without passion of this field many people tend to invest their money in training course so as to reach their dream to become artists who is beneficial a lot from this mechanism. It is no doubts that some cases which suffering from the crowded effects, tend to jump into that field and abandon their main job then, which a culprit of the imbalance of employment rate. For instance, In US, after being prevalent for over a decade, many American families which do not have a sound financial background, still insisted taking a loan from banks to impose their children follow artist track, which indirectly delay economic improvement.

To draw a conclusion, I once again reaffirm my opinion that the erroneous government's decision on adopting this policy leads to foreseeable drawbacks. Alternatively, policy-makers should let people pursue their own dreaming career without being influenced from any social trends.
May 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / Computer Addiction (Causes/Effect/Solution ) [4]

In my ielts class, my teacher advises me that generally we should not start the introduction passage with :Nowadays and you can use the phrase: "In contemporary time" instead.
May 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / Factors which influence a good movie ( your opinions ) [4]

There are a variety of different types of movies. After enjoying a movie, many people don't criticize much about how excellent it is and simply the quality of this movie depends mainly on human's feeling. If audiences feel satisfied and good, it means a good one, and if they feel boring, not thrilling, the result is in vise - reverse. In my opinion, as I shall discuss in this essay, normally a good movie is testified by a following fundamental factors.

First of all, a good movie offers our society a positive effects including education, culture and so on. To specify, a good movie with healthy contents apparently would not lure people to do bad things which hinder society growth such as criminal actions. Alternatively, by dint of watching such kinds of healthy movie, we can enrich our knowledge gradually therefore we can behave in the proper way in life. For instance, by watching good serious movies of Vietnam history, both adults and children have a comprehensive understanding what happened to Viet Nam in the past decades, which accelerate their patriotism and gratitude to ancestors, resulting in contribution more to the development of our nation.

Equally important, another factor referring to a good movie is the appearance of its artists. It is seen clearly that thanks to a thorough and cautious selection of artists who must obtain a good-looking look, Korean films, in this contemporary time, have been considered as one of the most - attractive ones all over the movie world. In addition, many empirical research and studies indicate that artist's appearance with beautiful face and a shaped body influence strongly to the youngsters nowadays.

By way of conclusion, besides those above factors, there are some others such as the technology of videoing or different levels of professional acting. However, whatever a movie talking about, the content need to be dominant one which has the most conscious impact to our society's perception.