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Posts by SemehenM
Joined: Jun 10, 2013
Last Post: Jul 20, 2013
Threads: 4
Posts: 7  
Likes: 2
From: Ukraine

Displayed posts: 11
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SemehenM   
Jul 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay Money is the best way to motivate people [10]

Money is the best way to motivate people

Nowadays the employers use different instruments in order to stimulate their laborers to work better and faster. However, one must admit that the most common way to encourage employees to carry out their duties is money. I agree that wages or salary should be considered the most powerful instrument to influence on people's attitude to job.

To begin with, money is the most convenient and effortless motivator. In fact, no one gratitude or praise is as effective and easy to use as money. For example, to put this powerful instrument into use the employers do not need to possess special psychological knowledge on how to make people work. It is broadly known fact, that the workers in the Soviet Union were not as productive as those in the USA. That is because the praises were the only recognition of the results of their work.

Besides, money is the only thing that can motivate people working in the harmful conditions. In these cases the excess amount of money is used to have a rest and recovery.

To illustrate, in comparison to other workers the miners are provided with higher wages. Beyond doubt, for this category of the employees money is the best motivator as well as recovery for the severe working environment.

To draw the conclusion, I can say that money is definitely the finest motivator. Its usage is not connected with involving of large resources. In addition, money is convenient motivator for the people who works in harmful conditions and so need money for recovery.

Thanks for your feedbacks)

Maryana Semehen
SemehenM   
Jul 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay "There is too much violence in movies" [5]

There is too much violence in movies

From the times of the black-and-white mute movies a content and popular plots of the films have changed radically and quickly. Moreover, a movie plot is considered to be a mirror of the society and the processes that prevail in it. To illustrate it, the majority of today's films show human interactions full of crimes and other cruel acts. In spite of the fact that movie content depends on social environment I am inclined to believe that films should not be so brutal.

First of all, "cinematographic violence" is harmful for the children's psychological development and, in further, their perception of the world around. How do the scientists explain the impact of brutal movies on the young people? It is well known, that children are easy to perceive the images of the heroes, who usually use a weapon to reach their aims, including such honorable one as rescuing the world. So from children's point of view, the crimes should not be convicted in all cases: they are considered to be necessary when it comes to some extremely important goal. To illustrate this fact, «Die Hard» was quite popular among youth. Although it is necessary to realize that its main character being the cruel killer has become an attractive hero and so does his pattern of behavior.

In addition to above, the brutal movies stimulate aggressive behavior of the adults. The most dangerous is that this impact is unconscious. In other words, we are unable to put our emotions including negative ones under mental control. Unfortunately, this cause to the great number of accidents when the victims were killed or injured by the fans of some movie character.

All things considered, we are obliged to pay attention to the plots of the movies as it is important for our mental health and health of the young generation of the movie lovers. In my opinion, cruel films should be allowed only for a limited part of the day. Besides, I believe that violent scenes must be removed from the cartoons and childish films at all.

Maryana Semehen

Thank you in advance)
SemehenM   
Jul 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL; Food is now easier to prepare than ever; Specific reasons & examples [7]

Fast food is an enormous chain of food which is affecting our society and is having a huge impact on our environment, economy other factors

I'd recommend you to express your idea in the following way

...The enormous chain of the fast foods has huge impact on the economy and environment.
SemehenM   
Jul 13, 2013
Writing Feedback / Teachers should not encourage the children to think in the same way [4]

Do you agree or disagree that teachers should make their social or political views known to students in the classroom

Almost all constitutions of the modern developed states recognize that religious and political spheres exist separately from the schools and the higher educational establishments. However nobody believes in applicability of the full independence of education, because it is well-known that the teachers, especially the rural ones tend to disclose their opinions on politics or society to their pupils. To my mind, such a situation is unacceptable and should be regarded as trespass.

The first argument in support of my position is that talking about their political or social views the teachers encourage the children to think in the same way. In fact it is generally agreed that the young people particularly the children at the age of eight or ten are not intelligent enough to resist the ideas of some authoritative person (like a teacher, a parent or the elder sibling). That is why convincing a boy or a girl that political position of the Democrats on the issue of immigration is correct is not a deal of great difficulty.

The second argument to prove my point of view is that knowledge of the teacher's position usually restricts the students' freedom. In such cases the students suppose that the teacher might dislike the political party or social activist they support. Taking into account such differences a teacher can form negative attitude to the student. For example, in the undemocratic countries the students are afraid of sharing their minds with their progovernment teachers. Such students tend to consider that a teacher might estimate their work unjustly.

To sum up, teachers should not share their political and social opinions with their students. That is because of the stereotype according to which teachers dislike the students with the opposite views and inability of children to counter the prevailing viewpoint. So it seems the only way to solve a problem is to prohibit the teachers to spread their political ideas among the students.
SemehenM   
Jul 12, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay about value life experience [6]

You better include the prompt in your post to earn more relevant feed backs. It's difficult to understand what exactly your prompt means as you have mentioned only a part of it.

Thanks for advice)
Most experiences in our life that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future

hardships are not necessarily be mistakes that we make in life. So, why you connect them with mistakes. What you should have said is that hardships create opportunities for one to learn very valuable lessons for life that will help him to be successful in future endeavors.

You are right: hardships don't lead to the mistakes in all cases. I'll correct my essay.

SemehenM:
troubles to be the most significant life experiences.

The word "experiences" is used in the topic of the essay. So, is it wrong?

What about the general impression: is not my essay too easy? Thanks in advance)
SemehenM   
Jul 12, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay about value life experience [6]

Human life reminds me endless education that commences at infancy and goes on to death. Beyond doubts, this "studying" is accompanied by happiness and sadness, that are both important and necessary, although some of us wonder, why troubles are so valuable. As for me, I agree with the point of view, that after years passed we consider troubles to be the most significant life experience.

First of all, hardships contribute to our understanding of one important life lesson - not repeat the previously made mistakes. In other words, once made an error should be recognized as forbidden pattern of behavior or way of thinking. As for me, I often made the same mistake - I used to contemplate the obviously profitable carrier proposals too long. Later I took into account this disadvantage of mine and so I have changed my attitude to negative experience.

In addition, one more valuable lesson, which one carries out from severe experience, is ability to overcome the difficulties. I mean, it enables us to manage with any hardship no matter how complicated it is, to invent unusual methods to solve the problems. Of course, there is no guarantee that our decisions will be absolutely appropriate for any current case, but even our attempts deserve respect. I remember one event that has become my greatest personal challenge. The first exam that I passed as a student was extremely exhausting, but this challenge renewed my belief in myself and, particularly, my ability to overcome hurdles.

To sum up, I would like to admit, that the main result of the difficult experience - the valuable life lessons - deserves involved efforts and resources. That is because it teaches us how not repeat the mistakes and overcome the difficulties. Otherwise we will be unable to behave rationally.

Maryana Semehen Š
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