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Posts by sri_1
Name: anusha
Joined: Nov 25, 2013
Last Post: Nov 28, 2013
Threads: 5
Posts: 8  
Likes: 5
From: India

Displayed posts: 13
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sri_1   
Nov 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS academic - increase petrol price to reduce traffic and pollution [6]

q: increase in petrol price is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do u agree or disagree? Suggest other effective measures.

ESSAY :

Traffic and pollution has become a major headache in today's world. The main culprit of these issues is increased usage of vehicle. The argument put forth is, inflating petrol price will put an end to these problems. Personally, I believe inflated petrol price and imposing strict rules would drastically reduce the head ache of traffic and pollution.

Firstly, if an increase on petrol price is announced, it should be a drastic one instead of marginal increase. For instance, if petrol's price is hiked by 1%, a person would curse the government on price rise and would continue to use the vehicle. However, if the petrol's price is hiked by 50%, people will think twice to use vehicles. Implicitly, this will decrease the intensity of the traffic and pollution caused by vehicles.

Secondly, several tough policies should be imposed on using individual transport. For instance, in Singapore, a person should pay $2 to the government for using his own vehicle every time. Moreover, one should pay a costly amount to get a driving license in that country. These schemes will surely encourage the use of public transport. Tacitly, this will reduce road jams.

Furthermore, to minimize pollution caused by vehicle, certification of vehicles should be done based on the fumes emitted. High fine should be imposed on vehicles that cause excess noise pollution and fume emission. Moreover, other sources of environmental pollution, such as factories, construction sites should be monitored strictly to avoid excess emission of jarring sounds and noxious gases. This will greatly help in decreasing pollution.

To conclude, high increase petrol price and implementing strict rules such as aforementioned suggestions will surely help in reducing road jams and environmental pollution.
sri_1   
Nov 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS academic - teaching good manners by parents or teachers [4]

Q : Some people think parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others,, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

ESSAY :

Cognizing social etiquette is a birth right for every child. A section of the society argues that parents play a prominent role in preaching these ethics to children. However, the rest believe that preaching should be done by the teacher. Personally, I feel both parents and teachers play a vital role in making the child to understand his social values to mold him into future's better citizen.

To start, it is well known that the parents play an important role in helping their child to understand his social responsibility. Actions speak more than words. Hence, every deed of the parent, either positive or negative, will definitely have a direct impact on the child. Thus, parents should take care that they set a good example for their kid to shine as a good citizen in the future.

Secondly, teachers are considered as second parents. They hold the same responsibility of the parent to sculpt a child into a good citizen. Moreover, they have a proper infrastructure and situation required to teach the social values to the kids. For instance, a teacher can infuse good morals into the child by telling some short stories. Also, these instructors can make the child understand the social behaviour through small group activities such as cleaning class rooms, helping each other etc. Implicitly, these activates will imprint magnanimity in the child's character.

To conclude, I believe both parents and teachers should equally work in preaching good etiquette to a child by both words and actions. This will surely shape the child as a better person with good social moral in the future.
sri_1   
Nov 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS- parents give children TV/PC game to make them quiet,Give your solutions and reason~ [7]

Good content with few grammatical mistake.

children keen on

are keen on

And lacking outdoor

better avoid 'and' in the starting of the sentence.

children grow up

in their child's growth

parents have not enough time

do not have enough time

Or encourage

why is or coming in the starting of the sentence?

hildren life v

children's life
sri_1   
Nov 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS academic - Rules on loan and credit card [6]

q : Many people are using credut cards to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amount of money.

Give your opinion.

Essay :
The need for money is everlasting. Introduction of credit have accelerated the debt rate of a person, which many find it hard to replay. The argument put forth is, more stringent rules should be framed for borrowing money. In my opinion, it is correct to have such thrifty rules in lending money for the betterment of an individual.

First of all, in most of the banks, credit card limits are set based on the annual income of the person. For example, if a person earns 600,000 per annum, the amount set on the credit cards will be 100,000 per month. However, the authorities of these banks should make sure that the person repays the amount borrowed for a month in few days, before lending him the money for the next month. This will help in reducing the debt of an individual.

Secondly, many banks, in order to attract customers, offer credit cards to the children of an individual. Credit card usage is an addiction. Making children getting used to this habit might even make them financially handicap in the future. Thus, bank officials should limit their credit card supplies to children, which will in turn limit the debt of their parents.

Opponents of these stringent rules might argue that, these rules will not fit for emergency situations such as sudden medical conditions. In such cases, the banks can always reserve cash for exigent purpose. This will definitely not add up the loan of a person, siting these extreme conditions as excuse.

To conclude, stringent rules should always be imposed on borrowing money through credit cards and this will definitely reduce the financial burden of the common man.
sri_1   
Nov 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS Academic- stringent age rules to reduce the road accidents. [2]

q : The best way to reduce the number of traffic accidents is to raise age limit for the younger drivers and limit the age of the older ones. do you agree?

Essay :

Road accidents are definitely tragic. It results in huge loss of life, property and mental peace. The argument put forth is, limiting the eligible age for driving will in turn reduce the road accidents effectively.

Firstly, questioning the driving skill of the person based on their age limit is not prudent. A thirty-five year old person might have an improper driving sense whereas an eighteen year old person might hold a better driving skill. Thus, other factors such as proper eye sight, wise road should be considered for judging a person's coherence in driving.

Secondly, many argue that young drivers might get enthusiastic and emotional while driving, and often engage in rash driving. However, I feel that, it is the mentality and not the age, which evokes insane driving sense. Hence, a proper awareness should be created among the budding drivers to have control on their sense and speed while driving.

Furthermore, few section of the society believes that old people might have problem with driving, which causes road accidents. Although, age can influence a person's driving ability, it can never be the lone factor. For instance, a sixty five year old person can be hale and healthy, and thus eligible for driving. Hence, a check on fitness should be done to determine the driving capability.

Finally, every people should adhere the traffic rules strictly, which would greatly help in drastically reducing the road hazards. In conclusion, shrinking the range of driver's age alone will never reduce such calamities.

Clarification :
It is generally advised not to repeat words in an essay. Is it applicable to words like "driving" , "driver" as well? I found difficulty in finding a synonym for such basic words while writing the essay. Kindly help.

Thank you.
sri_1   
Nov 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS- opinion about languages dying out [5]

It reports that

could have started as " A report/ study reveals that " no need of pronoun, that too, in the beginning of the paragraph.

Well, it is kinda true that les

Avoid slangs. Use proper language. "kind of" instead of "kinda"

a language extinct

language extincts
sri_1   
Nov 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / toefl essay, face-to-face communication, seeing the other person eye to eye [2]

Well structured essay.

Please take a note on the punctuation. Use comma in appropriate place. Especially after connectives such as firstly, secondly, although, for example.
Could have started as "Nowadays" instead of "Although nowadays ".
Avoid starting a sentence with "because" , "and", "but". Instead, use connectives like moreover, however, furthermore, etc.

Good luck!
sri_1   
Nov 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay - Money spent on parties is waste or for betterment. [3]

Q: Spending lot of time on holding wedding parties and other celebration is just a waste of money. Others, however think they are necessary for individual and society. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

ESSAY :

Party culture has become inevitable in this modern era. Throwing parties is considered as a great means for socializing. Be it birthday, wedding, or even job increment, everyone would ask, "So when is the party? ". These get-together is considered as medium to be more gregarious. However, a serious question is raised on the prodigal money spent on the parties.

Proponents of the ornate parties feels, hosting such celebration will get them introduced to many connections. More grander a party is, more people would participate. This would fetch them important contact, which might help them later in their individual betterment, such as, job finding, etc. Moreover, many people feels this party culture adds more colour to their lifetime events such as, wedding, birthday, etc. Thus, they are able to share their happiness with their friends and relatives.

However, the opponents of the party culture raise concern over the money spent over these momentous celebrations. This section of society feels that, the amount spent on these celebration can be diverted towards a greater cause. In fact, I have seen several people who cut-down their wedding cost and donate the saved amount to some educational institution. This gives them a sense of satisfaction and happiness.

In my opinion, parties are essential, at the same time, money consumed by these celebration must be frugal. Instead of staging a extravagant and pompous party, people can showcase their joy in a simple and elegant manner. Happiness is a state of mind. Hence, people should learn to discover their jubilation from a judicious celebration.
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