Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay: Work or study from home - advantages outweigh the disadvantages? [4]

Hi All,

Can you please review the essay for me please?

Essay Topic - In some countries, with the widespread use of the internet, people are able to work or study from home, instead of having to travel to work or college. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Discuss and state your own opinion.

In some countries, especially the developed ones, the extensive use of internet, has opened up a new range of possibilities for many people to work and study from home than ever before. By this way Individuals avoid travelling to workplace or college by remotely connecting from home. This is a dream option for many while others are concerned about its pitfalls. This essay will analyse both benefits and drawbacks before arriving at a satisfactory outcome.

On one hand, there are certainly a lot benefits when it comes to working or studying from home. Most obvious is proximity to home and family, For many, the physical proximity to family and the convenience of being at home are tremendously comforting and much needed to maintain a proper balance between work or study and family life. As an example, for new parents it can be especially pacifying to know that they are very near to their children and available should they be needed for any reason. Moreover, an individual can save the travelling time to office or universities and utilize them on their work or studies. Thus, the advantages that people enjoy by working or studying from home, are obvious.

On the flip side of the coin the disadvantages of working or studying from home are aplenty too. Often, professionals and students complain of isolation and loneliness and this can be very depressing to some. For instance, people who work or study remotely don't get the opportunity to interact with colleagues or fellow students and this makes their life difficult. The other big disadvantage of working at home is that there can be a lot of distractions that can really hurt the productivity and require a person to work or study extra time to get the job done.

In conclusion, working or studying from home proves to be more beneficial if the drawbacks are properly addressed. It is hoped that this trend will become more welcomed in the near future.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Increased life expectancy has many implications on society and individual [3]

Hi Experts,

Can you please review this essay for me?

What are the possible effects of living long on an individual and on the whole society? Give some examples for and against according to your knowledge.

With the significant progress of medical science, people are now able to live longer than they used to be. However, increased life expectancy has many implications for aging individuals and for society as a whole. This essay will look at both the benefits and drawbacks of living long.

On one hand, the benefits an individual get through long lifespan are obvious. To begin with, these people are able to accomplish far more in a lifetime than others in human evolution. They can contribute to their work for longer days, creating more assets for their families and adding values to the society. For instance, professionals like doctors become more skilled with the experiences they gain and apart from their own families, society also gets benefited if they can serve for the longer time. Besides this, a long lived individual gets opportunity to see the family tree grow and can take care of future generations. Thus, it is clear that higher life expectancy has several positive facets towards aging individuals and society.

On the other hand, aging issue has some negative influences as well. Firstly, as long as senior citizens occupy current jobs, the younger cannot join them, thereby causing a tide of unemployment which may be harmful for the stability of society. Secondly, aging group propose a serious challenge for social welfare and security. As an example, the government has to spend more money on pension craft to raise the older people and this money is collected from the younger society in the form of tax. This shows how aged people sometimes become a burden.

Based on the arguments from various factors above, it is obvious that aging tide is inevitable and people should act on how to maximize the advantages of long life while eliminating the disadvantages.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Letter - Write to a friend inviting him/her to watch a movie [4]

Hi All,

Can you please review this letter for me?

Write a letter to a friend inviting him/her to watch a movie that he/she wanted to see. Tell him/her
What movie is it?
Why do you think it might be interesting?
Make arrangements to watch it together.

Dear Rosy,

Hope this letter finds you in good health. I am so excited to inform you about my plan of watching a movie together. Let me give you some details of the movie so that you can also understand why I am so enthusiastic about it.

The name of the film is "The Return of the King" which is the third film of the epic fantasy adventure series directed by Peter Jackson. Besides the exciting story line, the most appealing fact of the movie is that many scenes have been captured in New Zealand and being kiwis, both of us will definitely enjoy the mesmerizing scenic beauty of our country. While viewing the trailer, I could even identify some of the places which are very near to our hometown.

I advise you not to worry about the tickets. As a member of MovieBuzz, I will get online tickets at discounted price. Let me know if the Friday 7 pm show at George Street, suits you. I am happy to pick you up from your office and drop you at your home after the show.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Your friend,
Rims

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Write a letter to a book shop manager about a book you're looking for [2]

Hi All,

Can you please review the letter for me?

Topic - Write a letter to a book shop manager about a book you're looking for, ask him to find the book and send it to you.

To,
The manager,
Penguin Bookshop,

I am Rims S, pursuing MS in Computer Science in Sydney University of Technology. I am writing this letter requesting you to arrange a book that I could not find in the university campus branch last week.

Last week on Monday, I visited your store to buy the latest edition of "Theory of Computation" by George Tourlakis. Unfortunately, I could not see the book enlisted in the store's catalogue. When I enquired further, I was informed by a salesperson that the book is available in the George Street branch of your store. As I am new to the city and not quite familiar to the transport system, it would be very helpful if you can ensure the book is brought to the campus branch. When the book is ready, please call me at +61 123 456 789 or you can send me an email. I'll collect from your store. Alternatively, if you deliver to the student's hostel, that is even better.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Yours faithfully,
Rims

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Internet will end the era of newspapers and magazines [2]

Hi All,

Can you please prove feeback on the following essay. The topic is - "Some people believe that information available in the internet will end the era of newspapers and magazines. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples."

Model Essay

Digital media has been extremely popular among people around the globe. With this advancement, newspapers and magazines are struggling to justify their existence. Some believe that traditional paper media will come to an end very soon due to the increased usage of internet based media. But many other still thinks they are going to stay. I agree to the argument that newspapers and magazines will be history with the time. I will establish my view by analysing how internet presents the information about the current affair so fast and the accessibility to the historical news.

A very important responsibility of media is to publish information about the current affairs as quickly as possible specially when there is a crisis. This helps readers to get updated and act accordingly. For example, when the aircraft MH 370 went missing, everyone wanted to know the details about this tragic incident. The friends and families of passengers and crews were impatient to know the truth. In such situations, newspapers and magazines can not respond as fast as digital media. Instead of waiting for next publication, people can get trustworthy information about the current incidents from internet within an hour or two. This explains why digital media will rule over paper and magazines.

People often want to access news from past for various reasons like to prepare for research, satisfy interest, etc. For example, one research fellow may want to know how a small village named Oramaki in Japan was suffering after Second World War. It is very difficult to get this sort of information from past in newspapers and magazines as one has to know before where to look at. But internet provides efficient search facility where one can search the topic and get the details. This feature of digital media is not supported by newspapers and magazines.

To conclude, the fast responding internet media with vast information will be replacing newspapers and magazines as new and information provider for valid reasons. Though considering the current infrastructure and mindset of people, paper media will continue for another few years.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 - Write a letter to your manager asking for a training course [5]

Hi All,

Can you please provide me the feedback on the below letter:

Write a letter to your manager asking for a training course, which you would like to attend. In your letter explain
What the course is,
Why it is required for your job,
How you will manage work while doing the course.

Model Letter

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter requesting you to allow me to attend a training course on Chinese. Let me give you some details of the training as well the reason why I want to enrol for the training.

Last week, I started working for an esteemed Chinese client of our organization named ABC Corporation. My main responsibility of this project is to give support for our client's critical IT systems. I am expected to provide quick solution over phone whenever they face any issue accessing their IT systems. During the initial days of on-job training I came to know that many of the callers are not very fluent in English. So they appreciate if we can talk in Chinese. Further addition to that, while going through the knowledge transfer session, I discovered that most of their documents are written in Chinese. These paper works are very important to get acquainted with their IT systems.

Mainly due to the above mentioned reasons, I would like to register for a one week training course on Chinese language from LearnLanguage School. This training is for professional like us only. So they arrange online training as well as classroom training starting from 6 in the evening. I have thought of opting for the second option as that will not affect my work schedule.

Hoping for your approval,

Rims