Writing Feedback / Ielts ; Why more people are traveling than ever before? [3]

Why more people are traveling than ever before?

In many countries, people are more interested to travel during their vacations. Although the cost of traveling is increasing, people are trying to travel more than the past. There are some reasons for this increasing which it will be discussed in this essay.

Working much more than past is one of the important reasons to increase the number of traveling. Most of the parents work as two shifts, so they can afford the cost related to the traveling. Statistics have shown that people allocate some parts of their annual income for making a plan to travel. Moreover, people are bombarded with lots of advertising for traveling. Advertising persuades people that they really need to travel without any wisely reasons. For instance, I remember I took a vacation to visit Japan last year because I saw lots of advertising about a season of cherry blossom in Japan. However, I did not enjoy my trip at all.

In addition, todays, we have more facilities to travel anywhere than past. Trains, airplanes, ships and cars make any plans to travel according your budgets. Beside this, we can find any cheap hotel such as bed and breakfast and Inn that most of the people can use instead of expensive hotels.

In conclusion, people for many reasons travel in the entire of the world, and it dependent completely on peoples goals, also people as work long hours during weeks than the past; they expect to spend more time on traveling. Government should be made more facilities to make easy for travels that make people be happy and ready to continue for working again.

This is my essay, please help me to correct as a grammar and rich vocabulary...thank you in progress...

Writing Feedback / Grandparents are significant source of experiences; childrens education big role [2]

Essay topic - Today the majority of children are raised by their grandparents, due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family?

Todays, Parents work very hard and sometimes they work two shifts, so they do not have enough time to keep their children. Raising the number of kindergartens can make clear how parents are busy these days. Some parents are satisfied by keeping their children by their grandparents, while other people disagree with that. In my opinion, both aspects of this issue have advantages and disadvantages which will discuss in this essay.

Firstly, keeping our children by our parents has some benefits. The cost of today's kindergarten is very expensive, so it is reasonable that grandparents take responsibility to keep children. They are free during the days and they can support them. Moreover, we can consider that responsibility as the kind of job for them, so they can feel beneficial in society not useless. In addition, our grandparents who can trust them more than instructors at schools and kindergartens. We cannot criticize our children's teacher easily or make more orders, while we feel more comfortable with our grandparents. Besides, grandparents are patient and they try to teach lots of experiences, which they have to their children. For instance, I learned lots of useful skills from both my grandmother and grandfather when they kept me at holidays and weekends.

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages when grandparents keep our children. They need to rest more than past and they are not as patient as needed to deal with children, so with this way we make more trouble for them. Also, keeping our children should not be the only things that we must worry about that; in fact, their education it should be first priority. Our children need to learn new things which two previous generations did not need to them. Therefore, we must consider gap generation between children and their grandparents.

To sum up, our grandparents are significant source of experiences which can play important roles in children's education. But these children belong to the future, so they need to learn new technology and different skills in some place such as kindergarten.

This is my essay that I am practicing to be ready for next ielts exam. Could you please just correct as grammar and vocabulary... or any helps to improve my writing. thanks

Writing Feedback / 'follow the rules of the nature' - changes are essential for improving our lives [3]

Nowadays, we live in digital aged that every day, we face with new change in the entire world. Some people insist on any changes during their lives, while some people agree that we need to change coincide with any change in the whole world. I completely agree that we need to change as we want to live in the world. In this essay I will discuss both sides of this issue.

Firstly, changes play an important role to improve our lives. With any changes we can find our needs to adapt our lives with new situations. For example, I had a regular, acceptable situation in my country a few years ago. Then I decided to immigrate to Canada because of improving my educational life, but I faced with lots of problems in the new society. Everything has changed in my new life, such as language, finding a new job and my relationships with other people. Therefore, I started to solve all problems that I found in new situation such as my language or evaluation my back grounds educational. Now it is tangible that I improve in many aspects of my life.

Secondly, the environment is changed every time, so we have to follow the rules of the nature. It is well known todays, if you want to save in the world you have to change. Look at the nature that every year they change from one season to another season. In fact, with each season nature change due to solving it's needed. Moreover, life without any changes will be boring and monotonous. Statistic has shown that, people who live in the high quality of life they need to change other than that they feel boring and monotonous.

On the other hand, some people say with any changes we find new risks that maybe it is harmful or dangerous for our lives. For instance, people in Iran changed their government as a revolution in 1975 to find better situation, but in reality they have faced with lots of problem until now.

To sum up, I agree that changes are essential for improving our lives, even though we will suffer of some new problems.

This is my essay... so is it possible correct as a grammar and style ...thanks a lot...

Writing Feedback / Nowadays, making a decision is extremely difficult compare with the past [3]

Topic: A person should never make an important decision alone.
Nowadays, making a decision is extremely difficult compare with the past. People live in digital- aged which change all aspects of the entire our life, so we should use a new way for making a decision. I completely agree that people should never make a vital decision by themselves.

Firstly, situations are extremely complicated these days. In the past situation was very simple, and everyone just with a little thinking about that can make the decision, in contrast, todays we have to think about many aspects of the situation such as a budget and the beneficiary of projects which we want to start. For instance, my father who wanted to start a business many years ago, he just found a place and then tried to buy some goods and he opened his store finally at just one day. However, that is not possible todays. We have to consider a new economy's option which called a risk. Moreover, we face with new terms such as competition todays. We have a high population; so many people can make a same decision at the same time. Therefore, it will be difficult to become successful in a career or some other plans.

In addition, people use advisers in any field much more than past. This is an obviously confirm that making a decision alone is hardly difficult. For example, in many universities, we can find new courses to become a counselor.

In conclusion, we live in a complicated social todays, so we need to consider lots of options about any situations that we want to make a decision. In my opinion, there is no way to make the best decision without any counselor.

Writing Feedback / old and new generation; role of young and elder people in the society [3]

In some countries such as Japan and Russia, the population of society is getting old. This new phenomenon has some advantages and disadvantages that people really worry about that. I completely agree that the old society has more disadvantages because of some reasons which I will discuss in this essay.

Firstly, the abilities of older people and young people are completely different. Young people are very active with lots of motivation for reaching their goals. They like to take risk about any things that they want. Therefore, this is a big power for improving the society in many fields such as economy and medicine and technology. For instance, many developed countries keen to take the young people from other countries, especially, expert people to improving their countries. Moreover, researchers show societies are happier when they average of the population are young. Nowadays, everyone knows to be happy is the best medicine. Also the young people have a new idea every time which is necessary for some activities such as research in universities.

On the other hand, we cannot neglect the vital role of elder people in the society. They are like the best guide for young people which they can see the black and the white side of the life better than young people. Also they have many experiences in many fields that young people can use. However, elder people prefer to thinking as economy for one project for example, while young people consider the result and beneficiary of that project.

In conclusion, young people are the engine of the society which can use for improving our societies with high speed. Older people can help young people as the correct way.

Writing Feedback / What is the best age to start schooling? [4]

Nowadays, for many parents schools as a first place for future social life and also children's education are very significant. The age starting to go to the school is still discussable between parents and specialists, which some of them agree with going early as six or seven, while the others believe that earlier than that age is more benefit. In my opinion, I believe that earlier than six or seven is more useful and benefit due to finishing high school fast and also the quality of study in school and future social life.

Firstly, the time that children spend for the education is so long and makes them tired and bored. So if they start their education earlier time it will be more productive for them. Scientist has shown children are available to learn at early age without any problem about press. Furthermore, we can allocate some part of schools program for playing children as they need in this time.

Secondly, quality of the study in school is completely different form home. Children learn skills and abilities which they need for futures life among the other children so that make it best result because of rivalry and try to get better than the other. Moreover, nowadays parent work hard therefore they do not have time to spend on children's education. So school can play vital role to teach them compare with school.

Last but not least, school is the first place to entering social life so it is reasonable to start early. Although, study early cause to miss some relationships between children and parents, there are more skills for future life that children have to learn in school. Instead of that parents should be spend more time the rest of the day and weekend with their children. So for social life children have to learn how conduct with the others and how could help each other's which essential for living in the future.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that children should be start at the age early for school to catch best result.