Writing Feedback / Ielts: People watch more movies from overseas? What are the reasons for this? [2]

Topic : "In recent years, people watch more movies from overseas? What are the reasons for this? Should the government give financial support to local cinema to produce local films?"

Globalization has decreased the gap between different societies. One of the consequence of this change is, people are preferring to watch foreign movies than regional movies. In my opinion, I believe that, cinema industry has enough assets and that there are numerous other reasons for this change in priority.

The reasons for the increasing interest among people to watch foreign movies are many and varied. In this internet era, everyone has access to various language movies online. This is creating a worldwide market for movies produced in languages like English and Hindi as they are widely spoken. Everyone is interested in movies which have decent concept and more entertainment value. The news about these kinds of movies is easily spread due to social networking sites and globalization. For example, my cousin who stays in the USA, informs me about upcoming movies in Hollywood which are worth watching, this impacts my choice of movies.

Further, local movies are unable to satisfy the requirements of the viewers. Take for example, In Tollywood, movies show heroes who does not have proper physique and acting skills. Most of the movie stories are male dominated and portray women in a degraded way. Although producers spend millions of rupees, due to the lack of good storyline most of the people are preferring to watch foreign language movies. It is high time for the film makers to understand that they need to change according to the growing needs of the society to survive.

In conclusion, based on the above arguments, the problems that local language movies are facing cannot be attributed to financial issues. Local movie makers should upgrade themselves to satisfy the changing needs of the audience.

Based on the previous reviews, I kept in mind about number of words in the essay, repetition of words from question, clear conclusion. Do you think I can add anything to conclusion?

It would be of great help if you can rate this essay for "9" and give some information as to where I can improve further.

Thanks,
Swathi

Writing Feedback / Ielts - "successful in an egalitarian society or Capitalistic" [2]

Please rate my Ielts essay for grammar, vocab, cohesion and complexity. It would be great if you can give an overall rating for 10

Topic :"Do you think people will be successful in an egalitarian society or in a society where people are allowed to succeed with merits?"

There are few people who believe that communist or egalitarian societies make people more successful. On the other hand, some others argue that, societies which recognize people based on merits will create a better environment to become successful.

In a capitalistic society, people are recognized by their merits. This kind of environment motivates people to perform better and encourages talent. It does not support lazy people forcing everyone to contribute to the society. On the other side, basic necessities like food, health and education differ based on merits creating a heterogeneous atmosphere. Rich people can afford better health and education to their children which would exponentially increase the gap between rich and poor.

The societies which treat everyone equally irrespective of their financial, mental or physical status are called egalitarian. This kind of environment will provide equal opportunities to both rich and poor. The basic human rights like right to health and education are freely available to everyone. As there is no difference in benefits for various kinds of jobs, people will choose jobs based on their interests. This would indirectly impact productivity of the nation. People will lead a happy and peaceful life as financial needs are taken care by the government. Although there are various advantages, people might feel monotonous life and might create an environment without competitive spirit.

There are pros and cons in both forms of societies, but I believe egalitarian societies protect basic rights of people and make them more successful and happy.

Writing Feedback / English usage is increasing day by day, therefore various local languages are becoming extinct IELTS [2]

Please review and rate it for 10.

Essay topic:
Several languages die every year. Many people feel this is a positive trend and that a world with fewer language promotes harmony and understanding between people. Analyze both sides of this argument and provide your opinion.

Today, English is commonly used language across the world. Its usage is increasing day by day. As a consequence, various local languages are becoming extinct. Some people argue that, this is a positive change and would help people to easily communicate. While there are others who disagree with this and are more concerned about dying local languages. In my opinion, I believe using single language though out the world is a positive change which is helping the world to become a better place to live.

A world with fewer languages helps us interact with each other in a better way. Due to globalization, many people are traveling for professional trips. So, communicating in single language will reduce the problems of travelers in daily activities like ordering food in a restaurant or in going around places. Furthermore, students who migrate for better education would not have to go through lot of stress as they can easily make new friends and can be part of any discussions which is otherwise not possible in a world with multiple languages; this in turn makes it easy to adjust in new environment. Single language also reduces misunderstandings between people. Adding to that, exchange of knowledge in different sectors of research like electronics, medical, astronomy etc would become easier.

On the other hand, few people are worried about the dying local languages. These languages are the basis for the origination and initial communication between different cultures. They represent local culture. As the usage of these languages decrease, culture also changes accordingly. Further, these languages are tightly coupled with history; all the olden day literature and scripts will be impossible to decipher if these languages are lost.

To conclude, I believe change is inevitable and that usage of one language across the world is a positive one. We have to accept these changes for a world to be a better place. Communication in single language would improve the productivity of the world and brings everyone on to the same page.

Writing Feedback / Ielts - Advertisements have become part of our life and it is impossible to ban them [2]

Please check for grammar, coherence and vocab. I am preparing for Ielts. Also, please rate it out of 10.

Question : Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

These days advertising has become a huge business. Various forms of advertising is common in almost all kinds of business. There are different kinds of opinion on advertisements today. Some of them argue that they help everyone know about latest product launches. While others disagree with this and their opinion is that advertisements influence people to buy products which they do not require. Personally, I think both these arguments have valid points. I will discuss both these opinions in detail within this essay.

There are various advantages of advertisements. The television, news papers, pamphlets, announcements, billboards etc is a common media for advertisements which help us know about latest products. Advertisements are important both for consumers as well as producers. They help producers launch new products without which there would be no competition in business and it might lead to one man rule. It also reduces the prices because multiple brands compete on the same product. Consumers can chose from many available products. They help us know about new offers.

On the other hand, advertisements might also influence people to buy products which they do not require. In my personal experience, there were situations when I bought some items because I like the brand ambassador of that product. Internet is also one source where people end up buying for no reason. Buy one get one offers mostly mislead consumers to clear off old stock. Fair and lovely, one of the famous face cream brands in India has earned lot of profit by promoting that skin becomes fair. These kind of advertisements misguide the society in wrong way. Government should control these kind of advertisements so that people do not fall prey.

In conclusion, my opinion is that advertisements have both advantages and disadvantages. Advertisements have become part of our life and it is impossible to ban them. Consumers should be alert when buying products and utilize advertisements in a productive way. The government can also curb advertisements which influence society in a negative way.

Writing Feedback / Ielts - Museums and art galleries be free of charge for the general public [3]

It would be very helpful if you can correct any grammatical errors, check cohesion and vocabulary in the below essay. It would be great if you can rate it for 10.

Essay 4 : Should museums and art galleries be free of charge for the general public, or should a charge, even a voluntary charge, be levied for admittance? Discuss this issue, and give your opinion.

Some people argue that museums are a good source of knowledge and should be available free of cost to everyone. On contrast, there is another argument that museums should levy minimal charge. In my opinion, I think museums should charge basic fee for entry and the government should use these funds for maintenance and update them regularly. I would discuss both the above opinions in my essay.

Those who argue that museums should be freely available to public say that they are a source of education and should be accessible to everyone irrespective of their financial status. If there is an entry fee only wealthy can afford which will not justify the education system. Museums are a wonderful source of knowledge, any source of education should not be available based on economical status.

On the other side, some people believe that there should be minimal admittance fee. Entry to museums cannot be a taboo. There are various ways to make entry fee egalitarian. Entry to students can be made free. Also, by levying fee based on age group would solve the issue to some extent. In India, some museums are free of cost, but they are not updated regularly. Government cannot fund lot of money on museums. It is much better to levy minimal fee than closing them or not able to maintain them in proper conditions. This might also gives people an insight into the importance of museums and eliminates misuse.

In conclusion, I believe that museums should charge a minimal fee. The government cannot maintain museums and upgrade them without funds. There are various ways to make entry fee affordable by everyone. Rules should be implemented to charge fees based on various factors like age, economical status etc.

Writing Feedback / Ielts 2- Rise in crimes committed by young people in cities [3]

It would be very helpful if you can correct any grammatical errors, check cohesion, vocabulary in the below essay. Also, it would be great if you can rate it for 10.

Question : In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. What has caused this? What solutions can you suggest?

These days, there is a significant rise in criminals among young people. This is a pressing issue across the world and needs immediate attention.

There are various reasons for the increase in crimes among young people. One main reason for this change is movies. These days most of the movies show violence and are portraying criminals are heroes resulting in provocation of young to take wrong paths. The second reason is due to busy modern lives, parents are not spending considerable time with their kids. As no one is correcting their wrong doings, they are turning out into criminals. The third reason is, due increase in standard of living across the world, parents are able to give more pocket money to their children. Most of the youth these days are getting used to drugs and alcohol.

There is certainly on one solution to this problem, considering the complexity of the causes. However, the government can impose laws in sensor board to make sure movies which impact society in a bad way are banned. It would also help if parents can spend more time with their children teaching them good manners and monitoring them regularly, so that they don't get used to drugs and alcohol. It is also proven that children who spend time with their grand parents are less likely to turn into criminals. The government should also pass legislation which would restrict access to guns among youth which is also a major concern these days.

To sum up, young people are turning into criminals because of the changes in life style in twentieth century. Government and parents should work together to guide youth in the right direction.

Writing Feedback / Nowadays, there is change in the way people interact because of technology [4]

As we move into the twenty first century most of the people are using technology in almost everything in their day-to-day lives. As a consequence, there has been significant change in the way people are communicating. Personally, I feel technology has brought us various ways of communication media and that this change is helping the world to grow in a positive way.

Today, there is lot of impact on human relations due to technology. Freely available software's like skype and gtalk allow video calling. These applications helped many students to go abroad for education and stay connected with their loved ones. In various business deals, these applications are helpful to make major decisions without traveling to client location. Telephone has become basic necessity and is allowing everyone to be connected to their loved ones. One major advancements in latest technology are smartphones. They have multiple features which allow internet browsing, watch live news, social networking etc apart form basic phone features.

Technology not only impacted personal relations, but also made it much easier for social interactions. Facebook one of the popularly used social networking site is allowing an individual to connect not only to family and friends but also with his/her personal interests. Online blogs made it easy for people to express their views and discuss on various topics.

Every change in this world has both boon and bane, technology is no exception. In recent days, face-to-face communication has decreased a lot, because of high usage of gadgets. Also, there is an impact on traditional ways of communication like letter writing.

In conclusion, technology has brought the world together and has become a part of everyone's life. It has helped improvement in communication industry. Although there are few impacts on traditional ways, it can be ignored or alternatives can be found.